I just want to -know-

Hearing about magic is something that will take time for me to get used to.

I've played plenty of video games, and read plenty more books, scientific and fiction alike. I know of many theoretical ways that "magic" could exist, and many more ways that it couldn't. I am wired logically, scientifically - I like structure, I thrive on it, and my mind cannot help but claim, again and again, that anyone claiming a thing to be "magic" simply does not yet know enough about it.

Magic - the convenient solution to everything to difficult to explain.

What is potentially more interesting than the simple idea of magic, however, is that there are various viewpoints on it across the various regions of Caido. This is particularly intriguing to me - and I make a mental note to attend any and all lectures Jigano hosts going forward, to explore this subject further.

Earth was a land of many gods, all of them claiming to be the one true God and all of them absurd. Science and logic had made an atheist of me, firmly believing that religion was the cause of many wars and problems on my home world, that if everyone would invest in education instead of religion, the world would be better for it.

So, when Jigano said that the gods of this land were not perfect, I was pleasantly surprised.

His account of them sound much like they are simply beings in possession of great and varying levels of power, who amuse themselves by moving lesser beings around on this great chess board called Caido. At least, that's the quick logical conclusion my mind jumps to.

"I've heard that she exists, and that her favoured people are called Ascended - but I do not know the full implications of that." I reply, my tones thoughtful and yet still very much engaged in the conversation - I've been scooping broth into my mouth all throughout this spontaneous lesson, my mind has considered all that this fellow scholar had to say. No doubt Isuma is having a veritable feast on the bits I drop as various distracting thoughts divide my attention.

"Please, continue," I encourage with a grin, emphasising with a motion of my spoon my eagerness to hear more of what he has to say, hoping he has not grown tired of our chance meeting already.

Chulane

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Part of the reason Jigano had turned the question back to Chuy was so that he could steal a few more bites between his explanations, but he finished chewing and swallowed quickly when the request to continue came. No one had ever accused the bard of being reticent, and he had no intention of letting it start now.

"Much of what we know is lost to time," Jigano admitted freely. "But what we've pieced together so far is that the Voice was once a mortal woman, one who mixed magic and technology in pursuit of her ambition. Somehow she managed to gain not just immortality but divinity - an affront to the old gods. She seems to believe that she knows better than they do, and has sought out greater and greater power, gathering followers who are dependent on her to live." He paused, a faint frown creasing his lips. "She offers a form of discount longevity, replacing their blood with a clear fluid and affecting their other organs, giving them 'upgrades' of physical abilities and powers.

"But there is a price." Wasn't there always?

"Food and water no longer sustain them. They can feed in one of two ways: by praying to her, or by taking the blood of other humans. And not just their blood, but their abilities, absorbing their magic or animal shifts for a time." It was an ability that he found distasteful, but he tried to set that feeling aside as he met Chulane's eyes solemnly. "If the other gods take a broad view of the world and all of the connections within it, showing the sentient races some favoritism but by no means all, her focus is narrow to the exclusion of almost all else: the improvement of the species she has created, and increasing their numbers. And those early versions that she used for her experiments and has now moved past? Well... what would you do with older models that no longer meet your expectations?" he asked softly.

I listened intently, my mind doing what it could to interpret what he said about this entity known as the Voice. She sounded brutal, ruthless and brilliant, intelligent and clinical. A mad scientist who has tapped into the magic of this world, who has unraveled the mystery and knit it together to create... was it the abomination that Jigano implied? Or was that a factor that simply needed more research, more in-depth understanding?

"Hm?" I mumble as I swallow a mouthful, before pausing as I give his question due consideration. "To be honest, me personally? I'm a sucker for holding onto older models until they are well and truly worn out. On Earth, engineers had created mechanical vehicles that could carry entire families across the land, and it was considered normal to upgrade these machines every couple of years. Not me. The one I drove was older than me, and while it didn't look pretty, it did the job." I shrug a lanky shoulder.

"I assume this Voice sees her self-made species in a similar way the majority on my home world view their vehicle: good enough until the next shiny thing comes along, then disposed of by crushing into a cube."

Chulane

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Jigano grinned at Chulane's fondness for old objects, a sentimentalism he was 'guilty' of himself. His lifestyle hadn't allowed him much opportunity to accumulate material things, but those he had he had held to tightly. Many had been lost in his transition to Caido, but some things he treasured dearly still. His rapier, his undertunic with its many pockets sewn into capacious sleeves, and the long-since-full journal that he kept in his desk in the Guildhall.

Stealing a moment to eat more of the swiftly-dwindling stew and bread, he glossed over the alien details of the vehicle to focus on the emotion behind it, delighting in Chuy's heart as well as his curiosity. "Not even crushing," he admitted quietly, a sigh of frustration - or perhaps disappointment? - escaping. "Discarding might be a better word for it. Abandoning the old for the new. I have friends among the Ascended and it it something that scares me, that it might happen to them..." With Rexanna and Wessex so bright and shiny an example of what more the Voice could do, how did that bode for Sam? He shook his head, forcing a wry smile as he flicked a breadcrumb across the table for Isuma to pounce on with a happy reep!. "But I am, admittedly, a biased source. The Voice unleashed - through intention or accident - a plague upon the Fae region of the Greatwood last year, which bled across the borders into the people of the Hollowed Ground. I was one of those affected by her Blight, and it was... a violation not just of the body, but the mind and soul." He grew quiet for a moment, then shook his head, taking a cleansing breath to push the memories away. "The Old Gods stepped in to put a stop to it, and a Fae woman of great knowledge and power died to cure us of its poison. Arduinna's loss was a blow to more than just her people, but ours as well." Not a friend, but a woman he had admired even as he feared her power.

"You'll probably want to talk to an Ascended to get the other side of the story," he added wryly. "I would recommend Sam Wordsworth as both a Natural and a historian himself as a good source. He runs a bookshop in the Hollowed Grounds." He paused to finish his meal and see what more Chulane would ask in the wake of that information.

I nodded along to Jigano's words as I continued to scoop food into my mouth, a small frown creasing my brow as he speaks of the Voice discarding her old toys for new, upgraded models, and yet, I wasn't surprised - I had predicted very near to what he was confirming, after all.

Though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued by the whole idea. Where did this Voice come from? Was she like me, from modern Earth (or a similar plane), come here through a blasted inconvenient Portal, and simply unravelled the mystery between technology and magic?

News of a plague was concerning, however. "I'm glad it did not take you," I respond, "what a terrible time for everyone." I do my best to empathise, knowing there are no words or actions now that could help change the course of a tragic event that took place in the past.

I allow a half-grin to slant my lips as Jigano changes the tone of his story, inwardly chuckling at how well the man has figured me out already. "Is my craving for information that obvious?" I question rhetorically, knowing I have been basically nerding out with Jigano this whole afternoon - and, despite the tragic historic retellings, I've been enjoying it, drinking in every word, greedily swallowing every morsel of information he offered.

"Thank you, for the recommendation. I'll be sure to visit - I miss my books from home," the topic brought an abrupt thought to the forefront of my mind.

"You wouldn't know where I might find greater supplies of paper and ink? Halo has some, of course, but that is more intended for letter writing - I think I want to.. to try and write down everything I can remember about my homeworld. Mostly the medical things, to share and pool with your own resources, if they are found to be useful."

Chulane

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Jigano was enjoying his afternoon with this unexpected new acquaintance. Never shy at sharing what he knew, he always appreciated a good audience and Chulane was that in spades. It helped, of course, that Isuma had taken such a shine to the man (not unusual; the cheerful gryphlet treated almost everyone as a new friend until proven otherwise), but the continued scritches and crumbs certainly sweetened her already happy mien further, and that bled through the bond to influence her companion's opinion even more favorably.

Chuy's condolences were accepted with a solemn nod, the bard grateful for the concern, and even more glad that he was still around to share the story. He was glad to shift the tone to a lighter one, however, and he smiled back at the other man's grin. "Only to another like-minded scholar," he teased back. "Like recognizes like, after all. Or perhaps I should say 'birds of a feather?'" Isuma peeped up in chorus at that, twisting in Chuy's lap to make a leap to his shoulder, careful of her talons as she caught her balance there.

"If it's books you want, I really must suggest a visit to the Atheneum in the Grounds," he encouraged eagerly. "Sam's shop is a good place to get paper, ink, quills, and pens, but the Loreseekers' Guild has supplies as well that we're happy to share with friends, allies... and potential members," he added with a sly wink. "Though you should take your time on finding your feet first, and deciding if any other guilds suit you, or if you'd rather strike out on your own."

He sopped up the last of his stew with the last chunk of bread, then settled back with a contented sigh to digest for a bit. "Did any of the other gods catch your attention, that you'd like to hear more about?"

It brought a warm pleasure that the gryphon was so comfortable with me, that I could so easily find a quiet joy with a creature whose species I have never met, who I could only guess at their behaviour based on the impossible blend of species that make them up. I laugh at Jigano's words, and at the gryphon's expert leap and flight to return to her bonded's shoulder. The companion bond was something I too was keen to know more about, to experience for myself - I could only wonder at what Caido had in store for me though.

He mentions his guild again, and the Atheneum - I had mentally put that place on my list of places to explore already - and he also insinuated that I should consider joining, though he kindly didn't pressure me. Admittedly, I was extremely keen, though I did hold myself back - I knew I had barely scratched the surface of knowledge here, I should research into what other guilds existed, and if there were a better fit. Or, as he said, come up with some unique path of my own. The possibilities were seemingly limitless.

"I'll do my best to fit a visit in before the snow blocks off the portal, though it's sounding like it won't be until the season breaks that some proper exploring can happen." I respond, a light shrug accepting that this was just the way things were, I may as well embrace the facts if I were to better deal with them.

I too finish up my meal, sitting up straighter as I sip from my water, considering the question he poses at me. Truth be told, all of the gods have my attention, though not necessarily from a theists perspective, but from an academic, researcher's one.

"The Old Gods, and their heralds - do they have names? Do they each stand for something specific?"

Chulane

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It was Chulane's shoulder that Isuma had requisitioned for her new perch, balancing across his shoulders like a small housecat, but with a leopard's long tail to help balance the awkwardness and the occasional flutter of wing to catch her if she started to slip. She loved to be appreciated, a glutton for praise and affection, and Jigano had spoiled her. It was just as well she was a sweet-tempered creature by nature or she could have been a proper brat instead of an affectionate opportunist.

"If you're planning to stay in Halo for the season - and I'd recommend either here or Torchline, if only to avoid the dangers of LongNight - a pack of books to borrow for a few months would probably go a long ways to keeping you busy and entertained," the bard agreed. "I've been bringing some by for the Grounder contingent that will be taking refuge in the Palace; that's what I was on my way back from when we bumped into each other."

The question caught Jigano a little by surprise, and he tapped his glass thoughtfully. "That I can share, certainly. The Old Gods, the more distant ones, are Vi, the god of Life, Mort, the god of Death, and Rae the sometimes-twin god - or gods - of Nature. One way to look at them is that Vi is a kindler of souls and life, Rae sparks change, growth, and diversity during life, and Mort collects them after they die and watches over them in a blissful afterlife. Not necessarily with a personal touch, but more in a general sense. Though I've spoken with people who have seen manifestations of both Vi and Mort, and it was Vi and Rae's work that created the antidote to the Voice's Blight," he explained. "They watch over the world as a whole, from the smallest plants to the largest beasts, and they are less... hmm. I think, from what I've learned, they're less personally invested in humans in general, and individuals in particular, than they are in the overall workings of everything." He paused to give Chuy a chance to ask any questions of the Big Three before moving on to the heralds.

(ooc: lol I swear I can read, must've been tired writing my previous reply xD)

My meal mostly finished, I happily petted and scritched the gryphon who I now found perched across my shoulders, a soft grin lining my lips as the creature brought easy joy to this moment for me. I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever be blessed with the bond that reaches across species, the empathic link that would change the way I think the world works. Magic, I wonder to myself, what a curious thing.

"Yes I intend on staying here for the LongNight - I'll be sure to bring back what I can after your lecture - books and supplies for the people," I comment with a grin, happy to have a job, a goal, a purpose in this new life I have found myself in.

I listen intently as he graces me with more information, speaking of these Old Gods and their relationship to the land, I cannot help but think of all the mythology and tales from Earth - but it feels different here. It feels like these beings may actually exist, that they may simply possess great power, that they have found the key to living for eons and have found enlightenment, found the ability to look at the world as a whole rather than get lost focussing on all the petty little things that sentient life might get up to.

I wondered what would happen if I ever become a god - if such a thing was even possible?

More questions, always always I would have more questions.

"Have you ever met one of them?"

Chulane

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Jigano nodded, mostly distracted by the happy chortles and purrs of his companion as she was fussed over to her delight. His grin was bright at hearing that Chuy would be borrowing a store of books and other things, satisfied that at least this new friend of Isuma's wouldn't be too terribly bored during the winter blizzards.

Just as well he couldn't hear Chulane's thoughts, for the question on becoming a god would have startled him out of the comfort of good food and good company. Instead, the question that was asked was a good segue into the next set of gods, and he nodded. Though his expression grew more solemn there was a joy in his eyes as he spoke. "Not with any of the 'Big Three', no. But I have spoken with Ludo, Mort's herald on several occasions when it has answered my prayers." He nodded to Isuma with a fond smile. "Those two like each other a great deal, I think. Or at least, Ludo always indulges her. Ludo is a god who guides the spirits of the dead to Mort's halls. It wears a mask and is cloaked in rags and is... young at heart," he described fondly. "It can be capricious, even dangerous, but it can also be playful and kind. It likes offerings of toys, games, or items that hold sentimental value of memory." He paused, then held up a warning finger. "If it's in a bad mood or doesn't like your prayer, however, its curses seem to take the form of lost memories. A seasonal celebration was just held for it recently, called the Festival of Lights, where people make lanterns for lost loved ones. Ludo chooses the one it likes the most and grants the maker a little time with the souls of those they lost."

With the prospect of getting my hands on ink and paper and books, my mind excitedly planned all of the things that it could do. I had a desire to add as much information as I could about all that I had learned about veterinary science - I was, amazingly, missing my textbooks, my reference material that had become something I always had within reach over the last few years, even as a practicing veterinarian. I'm sure I would miss information, but at least I would write what I could, and perhaps find more knowledge of this world, and adapt mine accordingly. It sounded like a promising plan to get me through the oncoming season, which was sounding more and more like an event I was grossly underestimating the severity of.

Jigano confirms that he has not engaged directly with the 'Big Three', but one of their herald. This piques my interest, though admittedly I am still a sceptic, and I would remain so until I had an experience directly with one (and even then, it would depend exactly on the interaction).

"Offerings?" I ask at the mention of the word, a little bit alarmed. The so-called gods of my homeworld were historically brutal in their demands for offerings, often resulting in sacrifice of human- and animal-kind alike. Either option troubled me greatly, and while he explained that the offerings were more based around objects, the prospect of any being demanding another for any kind of offering troubled me greatly. The entitlement might begin at simple objects, but what happened when such things no longer held appeal to the 'gods'? What happened when they had a crowd of devout followers who did not see them evolve, change and grow over time, and so too would their demands evolve, change and grow?

"They sound… complex." I summarise, my hesitancy on the subject clear. While I was keen to know more, I was also coloured by my own personal bias, my own experience, coming from a world where the very idea of gods drove people to commit heinous acts against each other.

I wasn't sure whether the 'real' gods from here or the 'gods' from Earth were going to be worse. At least, it sounded like I had a better chance of meeting a god from here.

"So, there's the Big Three, and they each have a herald, who do more of the direct interaction with the beings who populate their lands? And to improve your chances of a positive interaction with them, you make an offering?" I ask for confirmation, to see if I have missed anything significant - I was light on details still, despite Jigano doing an excellent job of explaining things to me. "Where does one go to make these offerings?"

Chulane

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"Offerings to show you're serious about having a prayer answered," Jigano explained, blissfully unaware of the darker turn Chuy's thoughts had taken. "Usually you're praying to ask something of them, after all, whether an item or information or something else that you couldn't get from normal, mortal channels. They tend to be displeased to be called without a purpose, but the offering is a way to improve their opinion of your request. Something like a hosting gift, I suppose you might say." He chuckled at the thought, considering how he brought small gifts to his friends when they invited him over for dinner. Though one might also call it a bribe.

He nodded more soberly at Chuy's analysis of the gods, glad the other man didn't seem eager to treat them like benign wish-granting genii. "They are. Each has their own personality, likes and dislikes, and varied relationships with other gods - and other mortals," he added, thinking of Ronin in particular. But there was also Remi, Wessex, Amalia... "I would council against approaching them lightly until you know more. But just as there is great risk in doing so, there can be great reward as well. Divine blessings can be wondrous things... just as divine curses can be terrible," he added with a wry flicker of dark humor from his own personal experience.

Jigano nodded firm confirmation of Chuy's understanding so far, but instead of asking about the other heralds he shifted to something more prosaic. The bard paused a moment, but he'd given his warnings and it was up to Chulane to make his own decisions for himself. "There are Shrines located around the world," he explained. "Made by mortal hands and blessed by divine presence. You'll find them in most settlements and sometimes out in natural areas as well. In the Grounds there's one in the Temple where you can pray to any god, and another out in the Glade surrounded by glowing stones that is dedicated to the Old Gods. Safrin has a shrine out in the Fields and Ludo has one in the Greatwood. In Halo I think there's one in the Palace that serves all the gods, and there are more in Torchline."

He tilted his head at Chuy curiously. "What is it like, if you don't mind my asking? A world without gods?"

Jigano clarifies his definition of offering, which does a lot to settle my nerves about the whole concept, though there is still a niggling, persistent question within me, leftover from my knowledge of the history of Earth, of sacrificial virgins, children, people. I nodded in understanding as he cautions me against approaching them with the wrong attitude, fully intending to do a lot more reading into these gods, and learning to accept that gods were very much a "thing" that existed here.

He explains the shrines, and again I nod, thinking that they sound much like churches, man-made structures designed for man to attend, though on Earth the "divine presence" was something one had to have faith in - no proof was ever given, just faith, and blind faith at that.

"Chaotic," I say to the man's question about my home, sipping on my water before I continue. "There are billions of people there, with a long history stained by war, famine, disaster," I shake my head at the memory of it. "And it depends on who you ask as to whether there is a god, or many, or none at all." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"No god ever provided enough proof for my mind of science and logic to warrant my belief in them; and the deadly wars that history tells us were fought over 'whose god was better than another's' leave a bitter taste in my mouth." I sigh. "It is the human condition to look for something greater than ourselves to guide us, and due to the sheer number of us, it is impossible that all would look in the same direction for that guidance. And thus, conflict arises - perhaps it is not the gods' fault after all."

Chulane

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Chulane's world sounded dangerous and dark, crowded and violent. Billions of people was hard for Jigano to wrap his mind around, especially if they were all packed onto one world. The uncertainty in their deities was a source of further confusion when he had thought there was no god at all, but that one could choose to believe in them - or not?

"It all sounds very complex and confusing," the bard admitted wryly. "Though I think you'll find quite a few people here who are fine without the gods's touch in their lives. Magic users are called Abandoned for a reason, though it's through no fault of their own. We're trying to shift the term towards a more neutral 'mage' in the Grounds to ease some of that, but even so there are many who would avoid the gods entirely if they could - all of them." He was intrigued to hear Chuy's soliliquoy all the same, a curious tilt to his head as he smiled across at his new friend. "A philosopher as well as a vet'ranarian?" he asked, pleased at the discovery. "Though in Caido's case I'd say it is the gods's fault," he added, dryly. "Which is a damn shame, because if not for the methods she chooses, I might have admired the Voice, once. But she's too cavalier with the lives of non-Ascended for my taste. Not that Ludo hasn't made its own mistakes in the opposite direction but..." he sighed, offering a weary, rueful shrug. "At least we have the option to refuse the Old Gods. Not even the Attuned who are most closely aligned with them are dependent on them for sustenance in the way the Ascended are." He paused, considering.

"You might find it interesting to talk to Loren, come to think of it. Or others from Northhaven. Their world was one without gods or religion of any sort, from what I've heard. It might provide an interesting counterpoint. But, gods least fortunate... you said your world was one of billions?" Jigano shook his head, bemused. "Was your world so large? Or did you live all atop each other, in colonies?"