[open] she sells sea shells

Arialla
Arialla laughed bitterly. "A blank canvas -- yes, that's a good way to think of it. Empty."

She shook her head, taking a step back. "I don't know if you can understand this, but I'm not interested in making my mark. I'm not a hero and I don't want to be one. I just want to go home."

Rubbing a hand over her face, she added, "If I were an artist who'd spent years on a canvas, and you replaced it with a blank one -- well, wouldn't you be upset?"

please don't take my sunshine away

coding base by Skylark

Laughter was... good, they had thought, but the sound that comes out of Arialla is very much not  good. Osozo's face doesn't move, locked in a kind of insipid smile, an attempt at that earlier soothing, but the colour in their hair has bled into a deep grey. They let their hand drop away from her as she steps back, head cocking. "No, I... I don't think I do understand." Making a mark didn't mean being a hero to them. It meant simply living, and this was their first foray into it, their first attempt. "I... suppose I would mourn the work lost." They offer after a moment's thought, nodding gently. "But it would not stop me from beginning again. I... suppose you are still in the mourning, then?" osozo Electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty

Arialla
Another bitter laugh. "I guess it won't stop me from beginning again, if I can't go home. I don't have much choice, unless I'm going to jump off the Spire."

The thought of suicide hadn't really occurred to her before, not as long as she had a goal in mind -- working towards an offering for Safrin. Even now, it slipped out of her mind easily, not considered as a real option.

"But yes, I am very much still in the mourning." It comes out rather sharply.

please don't take my sunshine away

coding base by Skylark

The Demi-gods face twists at the idea presented, jumping off the Spire. It sounded so inelegant, like such a waste. ”Are you going to jump off the spire?” There is concern, under the curious tone, behind the wide pale eyes. It hadn’t necessarily sounded serious, but they had already learned they had no real skill in reading people, jump in observing. ”I’ve never mourned anything before.” Osozo offered, feeling quite clever to have to gotten to this point, though they hadn’t the foggiest idea of where to go from here. ”How do you change it?” Arialla has humoured them up until this point, and they felt safe prodding just a little more. osozo Electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty

Arialla
"No." Arialla could appreciate Osozo's concern, at least. They didn't quite get the intricacies of tone; she ought to remember that when speaking to them. And she took the question seriously, since it was presented seriously -- it was a serious subject. "No, I don't think so. I want to live, even if it's here instead of at home."

But Osozo's admission twisted Arialla's face into something like a sneer -- unconsciously; she didn't intend to be cruel, but her tone was a bit insulting as she said, "I can tell."

She collected herself, brought her face and voice back under control. "You don't. Not on your own, anyway. You just ... wait for it to get a little less terrible. And it never goes away completely."

please don't take my sunshine away

coding base by Skylark

Her answer brings a breath of relief, a light sigh that at least their conversation did not drive a person to suicide. Even if it was more complicated than that, and it was, it would feel like a black mark. It seems they're not done eating feet yet, as Arialla's face twists again, something they recognize as not good. Osozo's hands come up in a silent placation, their eyes wide, not leaving her face. "Ah! Not on your own!" Osozo repeats, as if this is some kind of gotcha! "What would someone else do to help then?" There's a terribly curious look overtaking their face now, the Demi-god even managing to lean in closer, despite their earlier wariness. osozo Electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty

Arialla
Arialla sighed. She was beginning to grow weary of Osozo's heavy, emotional questions. Not weary enough to overcome her custom of courtesy and tell Osozo to shove it -- yet -- but she didn't exactly want to give a detailed answer.

"I don't know, Osozo. It varies from person to person -- both the person mourning and the person helping. Sometimes there's nothing you can do." There's nothing you can do for me. Arialla forced a wan smile, trying to tell herself that at least Osozo had good intentions. In time, they'd learn a bit more emotional finesse, Arialla hoped. She just didn't want to be the one to do all the teaching. Even if, as a priestess, she had a little more experience helping people through hard times than most -- but she had served in the temple of Apollo, not Hermes or Hades, where true mourners went.

please don't take my sunshine away

coding base by Skylark

Nothing to do. It's not an answer Osozo likes to hear, not one they believe, really, but Arialla is the expert, and has been more than gracious in the face of their incessant questions. "I hope I get the chance to experience it one day." Though, the girl was right. Experiencing grief would mean they'd have to get close enough to someone, to something, that they needed to mourn. It wasn't something that was going to happen soon. Irritation wasn't a taste they wanted associated with themself, but they knew, if they left now, it was what would cling in Arialla's mind. If they lingered, maybe a little longer, they had the chance to shift that perception, though they really didn't have the foggiest idea of how to do that. "If... you would like to face the Voice, I would be happy to come with you." It was going back, trading in something that could potentially blow up in their face, but it felt like something helpful they could offer. osozo Electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty

Arialla
"I ..." Both of Osozo's statements left Arialla uncertain how to respond. She took a deep breath. "As little as I wish suffering on anyone, I do hope you someday love something enough to mourn for it."

Osozo's offer, though ... Arialla smiled wanly. "I appreciate the offer. I might take you up on that someday."

Though she really wasn't sure. Confronting the Voice would be hard enough; Arialla knew she'd struggle to speak up properly, to truly express herself, in front of a goddess. Confronting that goddess with one of her most ardent (blindest, whispered Arialla's cynical side) followers at her side? That just sounded like a good way to be ganged up on and silenced.

please don't take my sunshine away

coding base by Skylark

"Well," Osozo's brows pinch together, the idea that mourning could be synonymous with suffering giving them a little pause, "I'm sure it will be illuminating. A learning experience, the whole way through." They hadn't even really felt pain, not yet, it was impossible to imagine the emotional equivalent. The wan smile was met with a bright one, Osozo not quite recognizing the nuances, though they could tell now that something wasn't quite right about Arialla's expression. "I'm certain she'd be happy to speak with you." They offer, watching carefully to see how the words affect the girl, a brow lifting in quiet interest. This had been meant to be a short encounter, but they were learning so much, it was difficult to find a place to step away. osozo Electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty

Arialla
Arialla had to laugh a little at that, though it felt cruel to do so. She wondered if Osozo would still find pain illuminating as they actually experienced it, if keeping in mind that they were learning something would help them endure it. "Perhaps not the whole way through."

At the assurance of the Voice's interest, Arialla only nodded, though an ironic smile crossed her face. She doubted the Voice would be so happy to talk to her once she heard what Arialla actually had to say. Osozo might yet regret that invitation.

The conversation had gone much longer than Arialla expected, and she was beginning to notice that people were looking at her basket of shells, looking at Osozo, and then turning away. Not out of dislike for Osozo -- just a polite unwillingness to interrupt. If she wanted to make any trades, Arialla would have to send Osozo on their way. "I'll seek you out if I do choose to speak to the Voice. How would I find you? And ... does she require an offering, as the other gods do?"

please don't take my sunshine away

coding base by Skylark

"If it's not something I've felt before, then the first time will be all educational." Osozo insists softly, though there is more than a little uncertainty in the angle of their brows, in the sickly orange their hair shifts to. They're going to have a lot to think about after this, a lot of information to digest, to compartmentalize. Osozo notices the people walking by in the marketplace, as much as they notice anyone, no more than short glances, interest in peoples clothing, how they wear their hair. They don't notice they're keeping people away, if anything, they're more than pleased with the steady stream of passer-bys, though their focus is locked on the woman who's helped them for such a long time now. "I've been staying in the caves, under the settlement? If you go to the mouth and shout, then I will hear you. Or... just find an ascended, I suppose?" An offering required a touch more thought. The bond they had with the Voice was different than others, they could approach a shrine with nothing, and still see their Mother. "I think... it's best to bring an offering. She likes... useful things, I suppose. Or tokens of other places." It's vague, and they admit that with a shrug of their shoulders, but they're not sure what else would suffice. osozo Electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty

Arialla
"Just because something is education does not mean it is -- pleasant. Or bearable. Or worth it." Coming to Caido had been educational, after all. That didn't mean Arialla was glad it had happened.

"Any Ascended will know where to find you?" The idea surprised Arialla at first, but then it made sense, if Osozo was so strongly connected to the Voice, the Ascended's god. Arialla still didn't completely understand the relationship between the Ascended and the Voice; maybe someday she would. "I'm sure I'll be able to find you."

Arialla nodded. It made sense that an offering would be required. But those specifications didn't really help her that much ... "Tokens of other places in Caido, or other worlds?"

please don't take my sunshine away

coding base by Skylark

"If I focus only on the pleasurable, and the bearable, then I miss out on a lot, don't I?" What was the point in working with incomplete data? How was that supposed to be objective? Though, Arialla did not know their circumstances, their purpose. "Maybe not where, exactly, but we are a family. I will hear that I'm being looked for." They smile, not elaborating more, not offering out more secrets, though they play at having them. "I am trying to make a point to be easy to find." Osozo gestures loosely towards... well, all of them, and shrugs, the smile not shifting. Another question that requires a pause, this one shorter. "Both? There are places in Caido She is only just now touching, and as long as something is pretty, and catches the light, and is brought with Her in mind, I believe it will work." osozo Electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty