Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
At first the touch was too much, physical sensation nearly painful after the barrage of mental torture, and Ronin tried to jerk away from Remi as he moved close. But of course his husband was the exception to all rules, and though it felt like sandpaper against his skin, he pressed himself as close as he could. Fingers twined with Remi's, Ronin burying his face against the Alchemist's shoulder, feeling too hot and too cold all at the same time.
"I can't--" he managed, just about. "I can't do it. I'm not strong enough." A shudder tore through him, the images of Fiat Lux flashing bright and harsh against his mind's eye all over again.
maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane
Despite how Ronin flinched, Remi held him fast, and hard. He couldn't let the lingering sensation of creeping inside his bones to bind his soul be the brightest memory for Ronin just now. "Would Safrin really send you to die?" The Alchemist wondered, wanting immediately to take back the words for fear of the answer. If Ronin was dead, who would know but her, if he found his way to Mort or if he remained a light in her sky?
There was another question on his lips, one that his tear-bright eyes and trembling lips wouldn't let him say. It was a good thing the Alchemist couldn't use the attuned-bond when he wasn't shifted anymore, for he'd not be able to hold back the barrage of his heart.
If you die, will having tried to save Vanya be worth it?
Is it worth the risk?
THE ALCHEMIST
maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
"I don't know," Ronin admitted - because he didn't in that moment. He didn't think Safrin the type to send him to do the impossible, but then... he hadn't expected Longnight in the Hollowed Grounds to look like this, either. Oblivious to anything more the Alchemist wanted to ask, Ronin slowly persuaded himself to relax a fraction; enough to work an arm around Remi in return, to hold him fierce and close against him.
"How do you live with remembering all of that?" he asked, shaking his head gently. Of course, he knew the answer; you simply learned to accommodate it. Ronin had done the same thing when Vanya had died, when he had been alone but for Aoife in a dark and cold guildhall, wondering if they would live to see the dawn. "I'm sorry, Remi. I'm so sorry."
maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane
'You've seen how.' Remi said back in toneless voice, still coming down off the adrenaline rush of what he'd just done. "It took Sugar the longest time to understand why I flinched every time she turned something to ice." He added in a softer tone, crumbling against Ronin once he was sure his husband could take it.
"I'm the one who should be sorry." The Alchemist protested, using a dusty hair to roughly push hair from Ronin's eyes, leaving his palm to curl around Ronin's cheek. "I wanted to put up a good fight but...it was selfish to show you that. It wasn't something you ever needed to see."
THE ALCHEMIST
maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
He had seen how, it was true. He'd seen Remi not live with it, for a time, and now he saw him bear the burden of it every single day, the Star gathering his husband close when he finally felt strong enough to do so. "I'm glad I saw it," he muttered, voice rough, his hand coming up to rest over Remi's. "I'd rather carry it with you, than you have to live with it alone. And besides, it's like you said... the monsters won't hold back. And I don't think they could show me much worse."
Was it foolish, to tempt fate and challenge them to do just that? Oh, absolutely. But Ronin was convinced, wholly, that he was right in his assertion. There was nothing worse than living through that memory, not for him. Or for Remi, he imagined. "Let's go home?" he asked. "I want to go to bed." And not leave until he had to.
maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane
Remi bit back an argument. Oh, it might indeed be worse. It might be Ronin holding Aoife against his chest, her blood hot against the chill of the ice. He might experience for himself the way her body was rooted against his, unable to be moved, and how her blue eyes had simply stopped shining and closed.
"I want a fire and enough blankets on top of us that we can't move." The Alchemist agreed, trying to smile but finding his muscles fatigued and unwilling. 'Always you.' He whispered, his forehead against Ronin's, breathing in the smell of him mixed with the ash and dust.
THE ALCHEMIST
maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
It might be worse, yes. There might be worse to come such that Ronin couldn't even imagine it. But he was quiet and content in the knowledge that he had experienced, at least so far, the very worst that life could throw at him, and he was still there to tell the tale. "That sounds wonderful," he murmured, smiling gently to Remi and closing his eyes as their foreheads touched.
"Always, always you," he agreed, drawing the other man closer. It would still be some time before either of them felt strong enough to get up, to brave the trip back down the side of the volcano, but eventually the afternoon would lead them home. To bed, to a roaring fire and a mountain of blankets, and nothing more.
