with heaven on my mind, and hell, well i believe
It's strange to Nate how vast the yawning in his chest feels with his arms wrapped around the other man, how much wider it gets when arms wrap around him in turn as well. It's only more tempting to dip into now, a siren song in his soul, promising something new, something more meaningful than anything he's been able to build, to hold on to before. And, annoyingly, there's a voice that feels like it outside himself, saying how it's poetic, in a way, to find comfort, to find a home in the arms of someone else broken in the same ways. Fracture lines fitting together into something more stable.
Pressing against Sunjata's neck brings him back out of the swirling, emotional place he'd dipped into, his eyes closing as fingers start to move through his hair. Nate presses in closer, enough that he can actually feel, dimly, the flush creeping down the other man's neck, can hear his heartbeat pick up until it's rabbit fast, but he doesn't move. Not until his name is called, a hum answering it as fingers fall still, as he leans up just enough to press against the stubbly rub of Sunjata's face. The translation in his head takes a moment, as it usually does, but Nate goes over the words in his head again and again, making completely sure he isn't making a mistake.
There's nothing else it can be though, unless there's some kind of really strange and cruel slang he doesn't know. And when he moves this time, it feels like he's moving through water, like he's fighting to keep every motion steady as he rises, pulling away so he can look the other man in the eyes, something vulnerable in his gaze, in the set of his jaw, in the way a smile can't quite cling to his lips properly. There's a moment where he doesn't say anything, trying to find words, trying to make it more than it is, though it doesn't need his help. And Nate seems to realize that quickly, let's his grip on everything loosen slightly, just enough that he can respond. "I love you too."
In another life, he'd been quick to love, quick to say it, but it's different here. This is different. It's only the second time he's said it to the other man at all something that's going to change very quickly, but already it weighs more because of it, feels like something real in his chest, instead of something you said to keep people from leaving for the last few weeks.
Pressing against Sunjata's neck brings him back out of the swirling, emotional place he'd dipped into, his eyes closing as fingers start to move through his hair. Nate presses in closer, enough that he can actually feel, dimly, the flush creeping down the other man's neck, can hear his heartbeat pick up until it's rabbit fast, but he doesn't move. Not until his name is called, a hum answering it as fingers fall still, as he leans up just enough to press against the stubbly rub of Sunjata's face. The translation in his head takes a moment, as it usually does, but Nate goes over the words in his head again and again, making completely sure he isn't making a mistake.
There's nothing else it can be though, unless there's some kind of really strange and cruel slang he doesn't know. And when he moves this time, it feels like he's moving through water, like he's fighting to keep every motion steady as he rises, pulling away so he can look the other man in the eyes, something vulnerable in his gaze, in the set of his jaw, in the way a smile can't quite cling to his lips properly. There's a moment where he doesn't say anything, trying to find words, trying to make it more than it is, though it doesn't need his help. And Nate seems to realize that quickly, let's his grip on everything loosen slightly, just enough that he can respond. "I love you too."
In another life, he'd been quick to love, quick to say it, but it's different here. This is different. It's only the second time he's said it to the other man at all something that's going to change very quickly, but already it weighs more because of it, feels like something real in his chest, instead of something you said to keep people from leaving for the last few weeks.
in the stage lights, come down, breaking over me
NATE
