Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen
Please slit my perfect throat with the knife that I gave you
Thankfully Zeph was a kind man and Sam, as much as the darker part of his mind wanted to tell him it ought to make him more embarrassed, took some comfort in that, letting his hands be gently taken and trying to calm down for the other man's sake, even if he knew that they were not going to be able to get any of it back. Here he was again, dragging another good man into his mess.
Tears still streaming down his cheeks but voice a little steadier, chest less heaving, he tried again. "It's...n-not going to be okay." He started with, having to squeeze his eyes tight shut after that to stop the panic that wanted to come. "The Voice. The G-g-g-goddess that the Ascen..Ascended follow. I left her. I t-told her I wanted to be on my own." Sam wasn't sure if Zeph would understand the significance of this, but all he could do was look the man in the eyes as he said it and try to make his voice as earnest as possible.
"She..she took...she f-f-ffff--" Frustration taking over again he reached up to pull hard at his hair, something he hadn't done in a long time. "Fixed my voice, ye-years ago, but she t-took the fix away. She...she took all my up-upgrades too. I c-can't...can't smell or t-taste or feel or--" Shaking his head, Sam looked down at the ground, not knowing how to explain it all to someone who had not seen him as he had once been. "She's m-made me worthless t-to her, and to me...and t-..t-t-to everyone else."
Tears still streaming down his cheeks but voice a little steadier, chest less heaving, he tried again. "It's...n-not going to be okay." He started with, having to squeeze his eyes tight shut after that to stop the panic that wanted to come. "The Voice. The G-g-g-goddess that the Ascen..Ascended follow. I left her. I t-told her I wanted to be on my own." Sam wasn't sure if Zeph would understand the significance of this, but all he could do was look the man in the eyes as he said it and try to make his voice as earnest as possible.
"She..she took...she f-f-ffff--" Frustration taking over again he reached up to pull hard at his hair, something he hadn't done in a long time. "Fixed my voice, ye-years ago, but she t-took the fix away. She...she took all my up-upgrades too. I c-can't...can't smell or t-taste or feel or--" Shaking his head, Sam looked down at the ground, not knowing how to explain it all to someone who had not seen him as he had once been. "She's m-made me worthless t-to her, and to me...and t-..t-t-to everyone else."
When I told you "I love you" in my home
Just stab me in the back
