Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen
Please slit my perfect throat with the knife that I gave you
Sam watched as his hands were taken into Zeph's, the warmth of the man's palms comforting but painful at the same time as he knew the feeling was so much less than it could be. Numbed, like he was in a dream. That had been how he'd experienced the whole world once, but now he'd grown used to the luxuries Remi had given him and without them it felt like he was in some kind of trance, out of his body and watching from a distant place.
Completely unawares of the memories in Zeph's mind, he waited to see if the man would take his offer and go back upstairs, pretend none of this was happening: it wasn't like he could blame him if he did. When the choice was turned back on him with the simple but powerful words 'you don't have to be alone', he let out a gasp of a half-cry and smiled, clearly affected by Zeph's kindness. "...Thank you. Um...I w-wo-would like it, if you could stay. I'll..tr-try to cry less. Um. I just..some company might be ni-nice. I'm...I'm probably n-not going to be okay for a while, though."
It was Zeph's house, but he felt like he had to make up for his breakdown anyway, do something to beg forgiveness for daring to show his broken side. Taking his hands back he slowly stood up, ambling to the stove and reaching for the kettle, the jittering sound of it clacking on the hob as his hands shook too loud in the room. "..I...um..I..I'll ma-make a cup of t..tea. It's the le...least I could d-do."
Completely unawares of the memories in Zeph's mind, he waited to see if the man would take his offer and go back upstairs, pretend none of this was happening: it wasn't like he could blame him if he did. When the choice was turned back on him with the simple but powerful words 'you don't have to be alone', he let out a gasp of a half-cry and smiled, clearly affected by Zeph's kindness. "...Thank you. Um...I w-wo-would like it, if you could stay. I'll..tr-try to cry less. Um. I just..some company might be ni-nice. I'm...I'm probably n-not going to be okay for a while, though."
It was Zeph's house, but he felt like he had to make up for his breakdown anyway, do something to beg forgiveness for daring to show his broken side. Taking his hands back he slowly stood up, ambling to the stove and reaching for the kettle, the jittering sound of it clacking on the hob as his hands shook too loud in the room. "..I...um..I..I'll ma-make a cup of t..tea. It's the le...least I could d-do."
When I told you "I love you" in my home
Just stab me in the back
