A warm meal and a quiet night

CHULANE

He nodded along, also focussing on his food, as she confirmed that her life had been heavily influenced by these powerful, mystical beings. He knew she was on some kind of quest, a journey that required great strength from her, which he had wanted to help with, in any way his relatively new and inexperienced self could help. Chuy didn't know more than that, at least on a detailed level. Kia had told him that she had been in battles, that she had been thrust across different planes of existence, different worlds and cosmic beings - it would seem she was a plaything of these and many other gods.

Perhaps he was too, he was just at a different point - at a starting point in this great, sick, cosmic game these beings were determined to play.

He had tried to lighten the tone, to shift the conversation to something friendlier, something less doom and gloom - but when she spoke to him, her entire tone and posture shifting, he abandoned that idea, giving in to her need to say something, to share, to open up. It was what he had wanted all this time, right? To have earned her trust, to share the weight she carried with her always, to lighten her emotional load, so that she could live and exist in the present, without constantly worrying that her past would come to ruin her present and future.

How bad could it be, after all?

And so he listened, swallowing his mouthful of meat, washing it down with a gulp of water, pausing the consumption of his meal so that he could give her all of his attention. And what he heard… was a lot. A lot a lot.

He was silent for a time, his expression unreadable, his mind awhirl. He continued to watch her, to look at her, consider her, with his glacial depths, even if she no longer met his gaze.

Time passed, and he wasn't sure how much. His mind was able to work through problems pretty efficiently - it was how he got so far in his career at the young age he had - so it was likely only a few long minutes since Kia's revelation. He reached across the table for her hand once more, hoping to disturb the momentary disconnect, the rift that had appeared between them, to encourage her to look at him once more, to find that he was not so easily scared away. Then he took a deep breath, and spoke.

"You are an incredibly strong woman Kia, do you know that?" He began, his tone serious, genuine, insistent that she believe him. "I think that this Kisamoa recognised that strength within you, and wanted to use it to further his own means. Maybe you were a fool, or naïve, or blind to his true intentions back then, but who could claim to be otherwise? Kia, you wanted to improve yourself to help your family - there is no shame in that." he squeezed her hand, emphasising his point. But he was not done.

"How many can say they have never made a mistake in their youth? He manipulated you Kia. It sounds to me like you weren't the only one, either." He lifted his hand up to her neck, leaning over the table so he could reach up and stroke the deep scar that marked her so. "Doesn't seem like something that causes you such pain, even now, is much of a reward." He murmured, moving his hand back to rest on the table.

"I see before me a woman who is still as strong, if not stronger than before. The real question is whether she is wiser, hm?" He was still serious, still solemn, but as he raised his eyebrow and posed the question at her, a small shadow of a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. He was still very much here, steadfast and strong, not scared away by her revelations, her confessions, instead accepting them as a part of her.

it is better to know some of the questions
than all of the answers

code shamelessly stolen from Skylark <3

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. It’s a weight that’s sat on her chest for many years, and when she begins to tell him and meets his silence for a brief moment, all of those just added to the fact that she could just see him getting up and abandoning this nice dinner. But before any words are even said, his hand is reaching for hers again as she twirls some food around her fork, not quite eating but picking at it, waiting for the inevitable. Her eyes lift to finally scan him, as much as she doesn’t want to face what she might see. But there’s no… Real tremble in his gaze, just a serious look that seems to match her own. He tells her she’s strong, though she doesn’t feel like it. She feels like she could crumble at any given moment – perhaps she will, once, when the weight of it all becomes too much. But she can’t right now, too exhausted and too busy doing everything she can to ensure that the Grounders have everything they need. Perhaps that’s why she’s divulged this secret. “I was a child.” She says softly, to accompany the fact that she was naïve and blind to his true intentions. She hadn’t known. “I wasn’t the only one, no… But I am the one most of them blame.” Like Melita’s harbored anger towards her despite how many times Kiada has apologized for it. But his fingers run along the scar, a small shiver sparking through her spine as she closes her eyes now, and reaches up to fiddle with the end of her braid where hair had been singed – not by the catastrophe but by a training session with Weaver. “I was rewarded with armor.” A helmet to match the armor that pierced her skin. But when he poses his own question back, she sighs softly and opens her eyes to meet his. “I never wanted anyone to die. And I’ve apologized to those that I helped take their families away from them.” She admits quietly, reaching across the table to try and grasp for his hand again as if she needs a tether. “I should have told you sooner… Before all of this.” She almost has to choke it out, gesturing with a free hand to the meal – the feelings that shared between them – as she accidentally slips a bit of her uncertainty and worry that he won’t accept her through the bond, the worry that it changes something she hopes grows into something so much more. and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...

CHULANE

Everyone had their own history, their own past, littered with mistakes, with trials and tribulations - but how one got through it, and come out the other side of it, was all in the strength of the individual. And that was why Chuy thought Kiada strong, for even though she carried this massive burden of guilt, and lived with reminders every day of the effects her mistakes had on other, she was still here, working to redeem herself, to prove herself a worthy member of society, to demonstrate how someone was not just their past mistakes, but rather their current and future actions.

Chulane had faced his own challenges, though they were different to those faced by most others who had been pulled into Caido - or who were born here. His past was largely filled with academic achievements, with a career spent helping animals and families - he had never been thrown into anything like this before, never experienced great disasters before, never dealt with magic and gods and quests and… He was coming to realisation that he was so very mundane compared to her, and he felt unworthy, boring in comparison to everyone else she must have in her life.

There was no hesitation when she reached for him, he held onto her, tight, firm, wanting to be there for her, feeling a mix of emotions at the simple gesture. And belatedly, he realises that not all of those emotions were his own - some were hers, slipping over across the bond, stirring up his own anxiety, his own insecurity, his fears, his concerns. But he held her hand all the same, using it to anchor himself as much as it might be a tether to her, intertwining his fingers between hers, determined not to let it go again, no matter if it delayed his ability to eat his meal - he would deal.

"I can understand why you didn't." He said softly. "And I am so grateful you trust me enough to tell me now," another squeeze, as he sorts through the emotions whirling between them, wishing he could share his own emotions in the same way. Instead, he blinked back the stinging pressure of tears welling behind his eyes, his free hand lifting to wipe one that dared to drip out and onto his cheek.

"Kia, I… I don't have any words that can make what you've been through - what you've done - feel any better. But.. I want you to know that…" Goddamn he wasn't sure how to say whatever it was he was trying to say. He wasn't ready to openly express those emotions but he wanted to.. ugh he wasn't even sure what he wanted to express anymore. "I am here, for you. And I might not be magical or special or -" he gestured a bit helplessly as his words failed him "- otherwise capable of forming a coherent sentence." He lifted his free hand to gently press his palm against his forehead.

it is better to know some of the questions
than all of the answers

code shamelessly stolen from Skylark <3

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. His fingers lace through hers – a tether that she can hold onto, and she finds some small amount of relief in it even as she stares at her half eaten plate. It’s… Awkward to talk about, even more awkward to consistently think about, to dredge up those feelings. But he’s so incredibly understanding that she doesn’t know where that leaves her. She should be considered a monster, someone who couldn’t be trusted. But he trusts her, and that perhaps makes all the difference. He squeezes her hand, and she squeezes his back, finally sighing lightly as she closes her own eyes – missing the tear that slips from his eyes as she fights the burning in her own. It means so much to her, so incredibly much that it feels like just another thing she has to tack onto how to pay him back, even if he didn’t know or care about wanting it back. She has to, for this alone, if nothing else. He stumbles over his words and she doesn’t mind, finally deigning and biting back the glossiness in her eyes as she lifts her gaze to focus on him. And when he says he’s not special or magical, she can’t help the slight smile that crosses her face with it, some sort of humor hidden beneath the dark sharp turn of their conversation. “You are special, Chuy.” She admits quietly, flashing him a small weak smile. “Coherent sentences or not.” She gives his hand another squeeze, taking a shaky inhale before she reaches for her water with her free hand. “You’re special to me.” She admits a bit quieter, lifting the glass to her lips before setting it down and keeping her gaze on him a bit more intensely. “I haven’t done this in a long… Long time. But I want to try again… If you want that.” If you’ll have me? and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...

CHULANE

And so they sat there, both softly crying, sharing and caring, clinging to each other, two people who came from literal different worlds, whose paths had crossed thanks to some damn vegetables. His words were met with understanding, with soft smiles and another squeeze of that lifeline they had built in the simple gesture of holding hands.

The flow of the conversation turned again, and he too reached for his water, stealing a sip as she labelled him not just special, but special to her. He put his glass down again, matching the intensity of her gaze, goosebumps rising along his arms again as anticipation rose within him.

Her words have him perched on the edge of his seat, butterflies dancing about uncomfortably in his stomach as he heard each one. It wasn't until she followed up with the bond-message that he remembered to breathe again, to let go of the tension that had built up in his posture - and to smile broadly like a goofy idiot.

"I do want that," he was a little bit giddy, his emotions swirling a little bit wildly within him, the tone of the evening having changed so rapidly from pleasant, to reflecting current events, to brutally reliving past traumas, and now to this - had he been able to access the bond in his human form he no doubt would have been projecting a confused mess of happiness, sadness and solemnity.

But what he also felt was an overwhelming urge to be closer to her - suddenly the distance that the table was putting between them was too much. "I still want us to finish dinner, but first -" he stood, not letting go of her hand, instead holding onto her other hand too, pulling her up and stepping to the side of the table, so that there would be no obstacle between them. He then stepped in closer to her, intimately so, leaning down so that he could look directly into her eyes, lifting a hand to cup to her cheek.

"Kiss me," he whispered, he pleaded, unable to hold back the swell of desire any longer as he leaned in towards her, closing the gap between them finally.

it is better to know some of the questions
than all of the answers

code shamelessly stolen from Skylark <3

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. The offer is outstretched, and Kiada waits with baited breath and glossy eyes, her hand in his over a table with a meal he’d prepared just for her, just for them to have a night together. And she watches as a goofy smile crosses his face, at the confirmation that he does want this and how she hasn’t fucked up in reading the room or his reaction to her. And it helps, somewhere deep down, that cold mask of herself slipping as she invites in his warmth. But then he’s standing, after saying he wanted to finish dinner and the confusion flashes in her gaze as she watches him, but goes to stand as well — to bridge that gap as she keeps her hand in his, as his own comes down to cup her chin and she’s tilting her head a small amount into his touch. Her icy gaze softens as she looks up and meets his own, hears his whisper despite the loudness of the bar, and her stomach flips in its surprise at such a suggestion. And really she wants nothing more. He’s in her space, intimately so, and she keeps her hand in his though the other lifts to rest along his neck to keep him close to her, trying to fit herself a small amount closer to him as she gives into his request, into him, and bridges the gap for the tender and soft kiss, meeting him in the middle. And it feels almost like a weight has been lifted, like that dark shadow that cast over her this entire time has disappeared, as if all she could see was the light that he could bring her even if it terrified her deep down. She breaks the kiss when her stomach continues to flip, moving to wrap her arms around him in a tight hug and to press herself against him wherever she can, the need to be close and touchy far outweighing the idea of giving him space again. and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...

CHULANE

It felt like an age, though in reality it was barely a few breaths passed between them. The time it took for her to respond to his request stretched on and on, the insecurities within him rising and threatening to overwhelm him - his heart rate had long ago risen to a fever pitch, pounding away in his chest. Would she deny him, turn away from him now, after she had made her declaration, her request? He didn't know where the thoughts came from, why they decided to pester him now of all times - and they were swiftly banished as she stepped into him, as her lips met his, as the world around them melts away and it's just them, entwined in a kiss.

His heart still hammered away in his chest, but it was a different beat now, as his insecurities fled and all thoughts turned back to her, to this woman who had shared so much of herself with him, who had welcomed him, trusted him - he still felt unworthy, still felt too simple, too mundane for her, but her reassurance and the kiss that enveloped him shooed such feelings away and beckoned others closer. Feelings of deep romantic affection, of fondness, of pure, utter bliss were ushered to the forefront, as he loses himself in this simple, soft and tender gesture.

Then the kiss is broken, and he finds himself taking a deep breath, his skin warm, almost feverish from the excitement of it all. Vaguely, he is aware of a wolf-whistle echoing from somewhere behind the bar, the kitchen staff apparently sharing their opinion of this developing situation. But any such embarrassment is chased away again by her, her form pressing in close to his, her head resting against his shoulder, the pounding of his heart no doubt clearly evident to her. His long arms reach around her too, his head bowing down to nuzzle in against her nape, breathing her in, holding her, so relieved not to be denying what feelings have been building up for her anymore.

"Let's finish dinner," he murmured almost regretfully from his spot against her neck, peppering her with kisses wherever his lips could find skin. With a hand always on her, or holding hers, he does some rearranging of the table setting and his chair, so that instead of sitting on opposite sides of the small table, they shared a corner, able to stay close. He was amazed at how much he missed her nearness already, at how he craved her, but he restrained himself, determined not to let the food go to waste - there was precious little left to go.

And after dinner? He didn't know, didn't want to presume, but he'd be lying if he said he wanted the night to end so soon after such revelations had come to pass.

it is better to know some of the questions
than all of the answers

code shamelessly stolen from Skylark <3

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. Her heart thunders in her chest, arms snaking around him to keep them close when the kiss is broken – but even this doesn’t last as long as she wishes it does. She can acutely hear the wolf-whistle from the kitchen, humming a quiet laugh to it, taking over any of those terrified and awkward feelings that settled within her stomach from earlier. But his head is there soon after, burrowing into her neck, and she tilts her head to make room for him when his words rumble against her skin. There’s a content sigh as she nuzzles her cheek into his chest with the light kisses to her neck, and soon enough they’re pulling away from one another and he’s rearranging the table a bit. It’s close, and she appreciates that small addition all that much more. So she sits, keeping her shoulder and leg close enough to brush by his as she takes up her glass to sip from again, settling in the seat and working to finish her plate. But in the middle of it, she pauses long enough to glance over toward him with a small smile. “And after dinner?” She asks, piercing another bit of what’s left of her dinner onto her fork and popping it into her mouth – waiting to see if he even had any plans for what came next, if he had any idea how the night would go or if he planned on it ending with their usual night time ritual of gentle kisses to her cheek before bidding her goodnight. She hopes not, but the ball is in his court now. She’ll let him decide how fast to take this. and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...

CHULANE

They sit, side by side, legs and shoulder near, and he can't help but wish it would never end. He was a traditionalist, he had grown up eating dinners surrounded by his family at the dining table, and it was something he didn't realise how much he missed until he experienced it again, here and now, with Kia. His heart leap and jumped in his chest as he came to the realisation that already, so easily, he had subconscious ascribed to her the family status, as a soul that aided the mending of the great wound his abrupt departure from his past world left behind. How long had it been this way? How long had her playful winks, warm embraces and chiming laughs been helping him survive, propping him up and giving him something to look forward to? Had it been since that fateful day in the street, and he hadn't realised it until he knew she reciprocated? Or had it been far more recent, and that was why he felt so relieved as he does now?

He did not know, and he didn't care to ponder about it further. All he cared about, all he wanted to think on, was how now, in this moment, they were together. Together together. Settling in, he picked at his meal, sipped at his water, his gaze rarely diverting from hers very long, his body overly aware of her nearness, her closeness.

He couldn't get the grin off his face even if he wanted to.

"Ah," he said in initial response to her question, taking a sip of water to give himself time to think about it. A touch of a blush might have coloured his cheeks, but in his defence… it was warm in here OK?

"Well, I was hoping you'd might like to come back to the lodge with me - for dessert." He spoke with carefully guarded tones, trying to hide the sheer overwhelming hope that was behind them. He looked at her quizzically, a 'brow raised in silent question - and then, with a stroke of courage rising within him, he reached under the table with a free hand, the one nearest to her, with the hope of resting it upon one of her slender knees. He gave it a gentle squeeze, before moving it slightly higher, up her thigh - though he would stop immediately if she gave any such signal.

it is better to know some of the questions
than all of the answers

code shamelessly stolen from Skylark <3

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. He picks at his meal, and she picks at her own – distracted despite her best attempts at devouring her meal. She’s close to finishing it, however, as her question is aired and she flashes him an easy grin, a raise of her brow, before she takes one of the bites left on her plate. Her attention is drawn to the blush of his cheeks, one that mimics the one that’s almost permanently on her own right now. His voice is guarded and she swallows down her bite a bit hard, leaning toward him a bit to hear every bit of what he has to say. And it only causes more of a flush to grow along her neck, beneath the dark braid that sat there. She gives him a small smirk, a quiet hum of consideration, lips parting to almost question what kind of dessert he had to offer when she feels his hand at her knee. And then it starts to move up along her thigh, and her heart begins to thunder in her chest once more. Her head tilts toward him a bit more, letting her gaze wash over him as she leans toward him and abandons the last couple of bites on the plate to give him her full attention. Her smirk twitches a bit wider with that, remaining where she is as she tries to figure out what to say. Dessert sounds great, Chuy. She hums back to him through the bond, head tilting up a small amount as she pulses the feeling of her swirling emotions over toward him, unable to keep them to herself much longer. Her hand moves toward his, stroking gently along his forearm to his wrist, though her attention never leaves him. and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...

CHULANE

He didn't know how much food was left on the plates anymore - suddenly such a trivial thing did not seem important to him anymore. All he had eyes for was her, her and current position of his hand.

Though layers of cloth separated his hand from touching her skin directly, the mere feel of her was enough to set the man on edge, to rivet his attention to her, to focus on her reaction, her response. And it was positive - overwhelmingly so, as the bond resounded with her words and emotions. He felt them across the bond, felt them mingle and merge with his own, a swirling miasma within him, and he so wanted to do the same in return, to share and revel in this new level of intimacy they had reached.

His hand decidedly moved further up, tracing around the curve of her hip to eventually land in the small of her back, as he leaned his lips to her ear. "I'm ready for dessert whenever you are," he whispered, so near to her that his lips no doubt brushed against her cheek - a cheek he then pressed another kiss against.

Putting down his fork, and taking a final swig of water from his cup, he rose from their table, assisting her with putting on all of the layers they would need to survive the bitter cold outside. He only birlefly left her side to return the dishes back to the kitchens, for such manners were so ingrained in him, and he was able to bear the jeers they made at him only because she was there, waiting for him.

They headed to the door together, and an idea struck him, though he wanted her input before he went ahead with it. He paused at the doorway, his hand resting on the knob, smirking at her. "Up for a race? I hear some cat species can run quite fast."

it is better to know some of the questions
than all of the answers

code shamelessly stolen from Skylark <3

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. His attention on her is enough to keep her focus on him and zero in on his movements. She doesn’t complain, not in the slightest. Perhaps she even leans into it a bit more, like a cat slightly arching beneath the touch that trails up along her to the small of her back, as his head nears hers and his voice whispers, sparking a bit of a shiver to run down her spine with goosebumps rising in their wake. She tilts her head into the kiss a small amount, some kind of rogue amusement slipping from her with it and the prospect, before they’re moving again and she abandons her plate and her seat, finishing the water as well – letting I wash down the warmth she feels spiraling in her gut and her chest. Her furs are easily slipped on, and she helps to stack the plates for Chuy to bring back to the kitchen. And before long, he’s there beside her once more, a smirk crossing his face as he pauses at the doorframe. And a challenge is issued. A brighter smirk crosses her own face with it, a gleam of it in her gaze as she steps up beside him and aims to bump her hip into his quite on purpose. “You’re on.” She chimes to him, flashing him a wink and a wide grin, before she’s shifting into her caracal form and slipping from the door – darting toward where she already knows the lodge in which he stays. She pushes herself, limbs straining with the attempt to win this challenge, if only to have something else to pride over him out of her own playful amusement. and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...

chulane

Damn, but she was quick, the man barely recovering from the jolting pleasure of having her bump her hip against him before she's off through the open door, copper fur and charcoal tipped ears fading into the still, cold evening. He follows suit, his form rippling as spots decorate his form, the door shutting behind him as he too leaps into action. He was glad she embraced the challenge so wholly, though as she darted out and ahead of him, he focussed more on urging some speed from this form in an attempt to keep up. It wasn't far to the lodge, barely a couple of blocks, but he didn't want this gallivant to end quite that quickly.

So with his attuned form lending him that empathic, intricate ability to share emotions, he finally beamed out to her and her alone, all that been swirling within him - the joy, the laughter, the hope and insecurities, the gratitude, the shared sorrow and the weight of understanding of the burden she carried for her past actions. He ran in her footsteps, trying to keep up, wondering if she would react to the feelings he sent her - also wondering if they would affect her ability to run away from him quite so speedily.

"Kia," his voice purred across the bond, deep and intimate, sharing even more about him - about the current state of his overly charged emotions, the way she made him feel, the affection, the desire. That last one seemed to trump the rest, as it enveloped them, swallowed them up and gave him but one focus - her.

As they neared the lodge, he made a final leap towards her, reaching out with a large paw in the hopes to bat against her leg, not to injure but to at least trip. Should he be successful, he then aimed to press his form atop her, to use his weight to hold her in place for just a moment, that he might drink her beauty in this form as he had in her human one so often, purring and humming with emotion through the bond all the while.

.

KIADA

She's entirely prepared to leave him in her dust snow? as her long limbs traverse and tear up the terrain. She almost tries to block out his attempts, but they’re feeble at best, letting them wash over her as she focuses a bit too much on those feelings and her own mingling within them, enough so that she slows as she slides briefly across a patch of ice. His deep rumble of a voice reaches her, along with the barrage of emotions and she’s faltering again, half turning to glance behind her with perked ears and a sultriness to her gaze.

But it costs her, as she sends those very same feelings back, indulging in the appreciation of it, of the wariness as well, and she doesn’t notice when a spotted paw darts out and trips her up. She does notice as she slips, however, spiraling along the snow until she’s on her back and he’s hovering over her, and she squeaks a high pitched rumble of a roar back to him.

But it fades to a purr as his weight is pressed against her, as she stills and lets her iceberg gaze flicker along the spots and muscle in this form, her head ripping up to bump her whiskered nose into his before withdrawing, pulsing a steady beat of her own excitement, happiness, surprise, and her own desire. Her large paws lift to press against his spotted chest, a gleam to her eye as she focuses a bit more intensely at him, something akin to a fanged smirk crossing her maw. You were saying? She purrs to him through the bond, tail sweeping against the snow.

i know every river has an end

you loved me and then you left

you loved me and then you didn't