I come from the water

i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all

A humourless laugh leaves Nate as Sunjata finishes his thought, puts words to it that have him nodding. "A while." He agrees tiredly. "It's harder than I remember." Is it because he chose this, because he wanted to keep choosing it, where before it had simply been a given, had been known.

It's not quite permission given, his hands moving, covering and uncovering eyes that stay closed. And that, just by itself, is enough to put a crack in Nate's resolve, his eyes shimmering, and his jaw working, trying to swallow the emotion in his throat. "I-I... fuck, I love you too Jata." Maybe its the break he needs, to let some of the more overwhelming feelings seep out, while he's held together with soft kisses and hands on him.

"Good." Nate huffs, sounding almost offended that he would want Sunjata without the shitty parts, that he'd want him with conditions. But the fact that he can sound offended is a step away from a spiral, a step out of the darkness, onto the firm ground the attuned provides. It's something to hold onto, as the kisses grow more insistent, and Nate tips his head into it. "I don't think I've even... told you my shitty parts." He admits slowly.

That's a different kind of raw, one maybe a little more bearable, and the idea of that instead of this is tempting. It's a change, if nothing else, and if he's going to feel shitty and raw and uncomfortable, he might as well make the most of it. Not here though, not in the kitchen, not without something to at least feel like he's greasing the wheels. "C'mere." He murmurs, pulling Sunjata into a real kiss, then shifting back, rubbing at his face before he looks up at the other man and blinks, a sharpness in the set of his jaw now. Something a little more sturdy. "You can... I'm okay, now."

NATE

I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals whose prospects were hanging out in bars

“It always is.” He agrees easily, shifting a small amount to keep his eyes closed, to keep his head averted away from Nate’s face, to give him the time and space needed, to listen. And he can feel Nate swallow hard from where his face is pressed, where his head is tilted in against the Ascended’s neck. He can feel Nate struggle yet again but he remains a pillar, hand in Nate’s hair, his other hand keeping him close against him.

He lets Nate’s own I love you wash over him, a balm of sorts as he remains where he is, only to offer his own crooked smile against the Ascended’s skin at the playful offense taken. And when he mentions that Sunjata hasn’t even heard the shitty parts of the other man’s past? Sunjata offers a breathy chuckle to that. “We have time, when you’re ready.” And he’d listen, whenever that was.

But despite being a pillar, he’s malleable in Nate’s embrace, moving to where the Ascended chooses to put him, and it’s another gentle and tender kiss that Sunjata gives into with his all. And when the permission is granted as they pull away, his steel gaze opens slowly at first, surveying Nate and letting his hand trail from the other man’s raven hair to rest along his chin, cupping Nate’s jaw as his thumb rubs against the tension. “Thank you. For putting up with me and for all of this.” He murmurs, lowering his head a bit to rest his forehead against Nate’s.

SUNJATA

i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all

There's no real chance for Nate to work himself up again, to worry about expectations and the weight of his words, his worry, because it's far too easy to lean into Sunjata, to focus on the hand in his hair. To murmur an I love you that would need to be repeated until his voice is gone to share even a fraction of the intensity of it.

Already, all of this feels lighter, the teasing tone actually sticking, his lips actually curling up properly. He's glad, for everything he's done with the other man, every connection they've tied to each other. Whatever they have, whatever they're doing, it's worth more than any sham marriage, or stumbling relationship held up only by rules and ego. "I know we do." Nate concedes, after a moment, still thinking about always, about time they might not have, and he knows it's going to come sooner, rather than later. "Maybe next time I carry you home." He jokes, trying to think of better times, and how easy it sounds to reveal things to someone more fucked up than he feels saying them.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, darling." Nate reaches up to hook an arm around Sunjata's neck, keeping him pulled close, the other arm wrapping around the attuned's middle and doing the same. They'd been pressed together so long, so often, that even an inch of space felt like too much. "I should be thanking you though." It was a rarity that he worked himself into this point, and having Sunjata there kept him from sinking worse than he had.

It doesn't mean he's not drained from the experience, as he leans, maybe a little too heavily against the other man. "Dishes can wait." Nate decides, leaning into the trust he know Sunjata has in him and taking a step forward, meaning to lead the other man towards the couch, to spend the rest of the morning in a lazy tangle. And... maybe talk more, maybe reveal some of his past. Maybe... something else though. He hasn't decided, won't decide until they're sitting.

NATE

I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals whose prospects were hanging out in bars

He’d give him everything if he could. And he hopes that Nate understands that, in the way that he remains levelheaded and strong when the conversation could have shifted a million different ways. But he listens when Nate speaks, always waiting and not interrupting, a lighter smile resting on the corners of his lips. “You actually can, apparently.” He teases with a small nudge of his thumb against Nate’s neck. “Though the idea of being perched on your shoulder as a bird is always appealing.” He can’t help the smirk from appearing on his lips.

But then the Ascended's arm is hooking around his neck, and Sunjata leans into the touch, into the pressure applied from them both holding each other close. And the hand at his neck slips away to wrap around Nate’s shoulders as he nuzzles his head briefly against the other man’s as the thank you is revealed. And Sunjata shrugs with it, accepting it but shrugging nonetheless; because what else was he to do? They’re there to listen to each other, to love one another, and Sunjata doesn’t ever see that changing.

“Oh?” He rumbles as Nate begins to move, walking and Sunjata fumbles for a small moment before recovering and walking backwards, keeping Nate just as close. And before long, he feels the couch hit the back of his legs, losing some form of balance and slipping down into the cushions, pulling Nate with him with a soft snort slipping from his nose before a slight oof from the way he’d landed jostled the wound a small amount. But he pays it little attention, not caring, because Nate’s there and not slipping away from him and that’s all he can ask for in the moment.

SUNJATA

i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all

”You’re probably a little bit safer as the bird.” Nate admits, a little sheepishly, the memory of carrying Sunjata up the stairs in the boxing ring spreading the smile over his face, the curl of his lips obvious, even where he’s pressed into the other mans neck. ”Even if it’s on the nose.” A kiss is pressed against the other mans neck, wherever it is he’s hovering. ”Snake would be cooler though.”

Really, Nate has no idea how he’d have pulled himself out of this dark, swirling place without the other man. There are a lot of things similar between him and Sunjata, despite the worlds between them, but one of the more obvious ones was their coping mechanisms. Most of which were lost to him with his ascension, a fact that would have only driven him deeper into something. But he doesn’t have to think about it, doesn’t have anything to sink into other than Sunjata’s arms, his support. And he wants to keep holding onto the other man until they can’t anymore, but as sense comes back to him, so does the realization that this isn’t comfortable.

The couch is a much nicer place to spend the tail end of his spiral. Nate settles easily, straddling Sunjata’s lap where he’s pulled in, mindful again of the stitches in the other man. ”Y’alright?” He murmurs, his own accent a little heavier with the question, with the way he’s still pressed in close against the attuned’s neck. And it feels a little ironic, considering he’d been the one breaking. But it’s part of him dealing with it, finding something to focus on outside of himself.

The other part of him dealing with it was the continued closeness, the way he draped himself over Sunjata as if gravity didn’t fully apply to him. It was the more important part, obviously

NATE

I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals whose prospects were hanging out in bars

“Just a bit on the nose.” He murmurs a small amount, a small smirk crossing his face before he hums a quiet laugh. And when the suggestion of the snake meets him, the smirk grows into a bit wider of a thing, a bit more appreciative of the thought. “Ooh. And get to sit there all wrapped up around your neck?” He questions, nudging Nate ever so slightly with his head, pressing himself more against the Ascended.

But then they’re moving, shifting back toward the couch, and it seems like the spiral is mostly over — mostly — and he settles on the couch, pulling Nate down with him to keep him close, within reach, fingers trailing along arms down to the thighs that straddle him. He tilts his head up to give Nate all that much more room along his neck, before he settles with a soft hum.

“Mmmhm.” Comes the gentle almost croon, before he settles softly. “I have you here, don’t I?” He finally rumbles, keeping his attention strictly on Nate wherever he can. He leans back against the couch, settling, content, in less pain than he had been standing and pressed against him.

SUNJATA

i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all

Nate can feel the way his suggestion is recieved, and wraps his arms tighter around the other man, leaning in to the nudge with a smile. "Think you might be a bit big for just my neck. But... I do like the idea of you draped over me."

The soppy reassurance that leaves the attuned has Nate chuckling softly, leaning forward to follow the other man as he leans into the couch. "I guess you do." He agrees, pressing another kiss to Sunjata's skin, unable to really resist the urge at the moment. "I think I've got something better here though." It's a little bit of a tease, but mostly a dangle, a joke that won't work unless the other man bites.

NATE

I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals whose prospects were hanging out in bars

“Mmm, well…” He murmurs another few seconds after. “The bat might fit the aesthetic.” He teases lightly, lifting his hand to run through Nate’s hair once more, feeling the dark tresses drift through his fingertips. But he can’t help the light smile that crosses his face at Nate’s chuckle, as the Ascended follows suit in leaning forward onto him when he leans backward – and he’s glad for it, this closeness.

He leans into the kiss pressed to his skin, humming softly with it as he focuses entirely on Nate and nothing else at all – giving the other man his full attention when the tease slips, a joke of sorts that Sunjata isn’t quite privy to. So he pulls his head back a bit, to try and let his steel gaze drift along the pale lines of Nate’s face. “Do you now?” He questions with a tilt of his head, a small smirk blossoming along his face. “And what might that be?”

SUNJATA

i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all

A low sigh leaves Nate, a huff that's trying and failing to not be amused. "No bats." He says, with all the faux sternness that he can muster for the moment, a laughably minuscule amount considering the commanding growls that he can usually muster.

There's a delighted thrill that runs through Nate as Sunjata not only bites, but leaps onto his bait. And the delight has to show on his face, bright eyes, still a little too glassy to be entirely recovered, and a wide grin. "I do." He purrs, enjoying the moment, his joke for a breath longer, before he's leaning in again, pausing with his lips just barely brushing over Sunjata's. "I have you." The words are punctuated with a surge forward, too hard for the scant distance he has to move, but excited, and desperate for a proper kiss now.

He has to pull back, like he always does, always out of need. If Nate worked on want, he wouldn't have a reason to worry, wouldn't ever have the other man leave his side, leave arms reach. But a grin stays attached to his lips, and his forehead tips, to rest against the other mans. "So... now that you've saved the day..." A pause, to press another kiss against the other man. "what do you wanna do?" There's... maybe a suggestion, in the heat of the words, but if Sunjata said they were simply going to stay here, wrapped in each other arms until the sun went down, Nate would be happy.

NATE

I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals whose prospects were hanging out in bars

There’s a slight chuckle that leaves Sunjata at the sternness of Nate’s voice. “Mm, okay, but if I sit on you as a bat at least the others will leave you alone.” He tries to offer as a different option, before he can’t help the slight smirk that crosses his face with it. But the conversation shifts, to a joke that Sunjata hasn’t seen through – perhaps because he’s too focused on ensuring the Ascended is okay versus the toying of words – perhaps because he’s just that dense.

Either way, his hand slips from Nate’s hair to his jaw, running his thumb along the sharp cheekbone he finds there, amusement gleaming in his steel gaze that shifts to something of a hint of surprise flashing before it’s gone and he’s offering a slightly crooked grin back toward Nate. It doesn’t last, not as he’s pressing in rather hard and Sunjata’s nose brushes against Nate’s, though he’s not complaining. He gives back with just as much force as given, if only to prove to Nate that he’s as in this moment as the Ascended is.

But the kiss breaks and Nate’s forehead rests against his own, and Sunjata finds himself searching Nate’s gaze. “I think I want to do whatever you want to.” He murmurs, lifting his head slightly to bump his nose against the other man’s with a small crooked smile crossing his face before some sort of feigned dramatics comes over his accented tone. “Consider me at your mercy.” He flashes a wink before settling and lacing his arms around Nate’s middle, locking him in close.

SUNJATA

i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all

All Nate can do is laugh in response to the new suggestion, the sound easier thus far than anything else thats managed to leave him. "Maybe we'll try it out next time." He suggests, because there's going to be a next time, of course there is. They move on though, Nate's joke landing exactly as he wanted it to, whether it was because of distraction or denseness doesn't matter. Doesn't change the feeling behind it.

It's surprisingly easy to get lost in the steely eyes that focus on him, to stare into the depths and let himself drift away into the other man. Absently, Nate wonders if his own gaze has that power over the other man, but he knows it does, the thought coming just before his attention is pulled fully back to Sunjata, as if it had ever really left, their noses bumping together. "Mmmm, I do love having you at my mercy." Nate purrs, a sly grin crossing his face, his eyes closing as he leans in to the little bump, into every little request for more closeness, more touch.

"Unfortunately," The word comes out as a sigh, Nate hands sliding into the scant space between Sunjata's back and the couch, "the things I want to do don't exactly do anything to me anymore."

NATE

I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals whose prospects were hanging out in bars

There would be a next time – Sunjata’s sure of it. Besides the fact it sounded entirely tempting to give into that suggestion – of giving it a shot and seeing how it goes, quickly letting his steel gaze survey Nate briefly to find the best places to hide when he’s shifted into his fuzzy fruit bat form. But it comes up short as kisses are exchanged and there’s this content gleam to his gaze when Nate’s own electric blues meet his, electrifying and sharp and stunning in comparison to what Sunjata can only imagine his own steel eyes are.

At least he got those from his mother.

So instead, he focuses on Nate and settles a bit more, pulling his head back to scan his face once again. And when the words slip from his lips in a slight sigh, and Sunjata’s focusing a bit more intensely. “It’s a bit early for drinking.” He comments quietly, a small wry smirk crossing his face as he cocks his head a small amount, keeping Nate settled there on his lap. “Unless you mean something else?”

SUNJATA

i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all

Maybe one day, when he's not so uncomfortable with stillness, they'd spend the time staring into each other, getting lost in the mazes of the others gaze, until they find something more than the worlds they already see. For the moment though, before he shifts, before he speaks, Nate thinks about how beautiful those steel eyes are, how beautiful the sharp face that houses them is. Words that he can't quite let slip yet, even now.

Hands lift again, as the attuned pulls back, as the first quiet words leave him, and wrap around cheekbones and stubble, thumbs stroking over the spray of freckles on Sunjata's face. "Something else." Nate says with a grin, brow rising as he looks over the other man, waiting for the click, the realization of what he's talking about. Because, surely, that's another shared similarity, another common thread between pasts that are worlds apart.

NATE

I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals whose prospects were hanging out in bars

If nothing else, Nate’s stillness isn’t a thing that wards him away. If anything, it draws him in more – perhaps a predator to a predator in a sense that has Sunjata focusing and unable to completely look away. It’s comfortable for him to settle in and let their gazes wash over one another, even if it wasn’t entirely comfortable for Nate just yet. Sunjata has time, so he keeps telling himself. And he plans to indulge whenever the other man’s comfortable enough to give into it, though the romantic within him does manage to swoon regardless, even if he keeps it inside.

So he’s content to let his steel gaze shudder slightly when Nate’s hands come to cup his face, feeling the Ascended’s thumbs stroke along his cheekbones. And the something else has a dark brow lifting, searching Nate’s gaze for a silent answer. Korofi hadn’t really had anything in the form of anything other than alcohol and caffeine, at least nothing he was aware of. And here? Here, his only experience had been… Rough to say the least.

And there’s this slight flush that crosses his neck and cheek at the memory, the awkwardness of not quite getting what Nate’s referring to, but he tries to play along regardless as he swallows down any of those embarrassing thoughts. “What did you have in mind?” He hums, leaning into the touch, waiting to hear what it is Nate has to say before the thought of divulging his less than stellar experiences. What would Nate even think? To hear how Sunjata had first indulged, whether it was a combination of everything or not?

It still wasn’t something he was proud of. Never would be.

SUNJATA