i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all
"No, that's not..." There's a struggle in Nate's voice, a schism between shaking anger and gentleness, but there is nothing but softness in his hands, as he tries to be the support that the other man needs, so soon on the heels of his own crumbling. At least they crack together, some kind of bare bones concession, they may both be broken, but at least they're together. His next words drip with venom, aimed at something he'd never be able to really touch, despite how badly he wants to. "If she had any sense of... morality, she would have stopped you. She should have stopped you." Until this point, Nate had done his best to keep a neutral opinion of the midwife, to not let his opinion be tainted by what he'd been told, by what had been done, by the low simmer of guilt he still felt. This though, blew everything he thought out of the water, blackened the good he had once associated with Phoebe.
The comment of faithfulness though, brought back some guilt, a crime that he wasn't entirely innocent of, though he knew that wasn't what Sunjata was referring to, knew that what they had done was more of a technicality, an entanglement rather than an affair. "I'm sorry Jata." Comes the soft response, as Nate pulls him in closer, strokes his hair, his back. "You... you might have fucked some things up, but not everything. And it's not fair to count... things like this. That you were manipulated into."
Nate can feel the heat radiating off the other man, where he really shouldn't be able to, shame and guilt and embarrassment and things he can't even fathom, not really. It's too much, Gods everything Sunjata has been through is too much. "It's not okay. You don't have to say it, and you don't have to believe it." And again, Nate is stuck, unsure of how hard is too hard, unsure of what he's supposed to say. It's not fair to leave the other man like this, in this state of denial, of emotional self flagellation, but how much can he say before the attuned isn't willing to listen. Isn't willing to accept it.
It's Nate's turn to let out a humourless laugh, lower, pressed into the other's cheek. "You deserve so much better than this. Than all of this."
The comment of faithfulness though, brought back some guilt, a crime that he wasn't entirely innocent of, though he knew that wasn't what Sunjata was referring to, knew that what they had done was more of a technicality, an entanglement rather than an affair. "I'm sorry Jata." Comes the soft response, as Nate pulls him in closer, strokes his hair, his back. "You... you might have fucked some things up, but not everything. And it's not fair to count... things like this. That you were manipulated into."
Nate can feel the heat radiating off the other man, where he really shouldn't be able to, shame and guilt and embarrassment and things he can't even fathom, not really. It's too much, Gods everything Sunjata has been through is too much. "It's not okay. You don't have to say it, and you don't have to believe it." And again, Nate is stuck, unsure of how hard is too hard, unsure of what he's supposed to say. It's not fair to leave the other man like this, in this state of denial, of emotional self flagellation, but how much can he say before the attuned isn't willing to listen. Isn't willing to accept it.
It's Nate's turn to let out a humourless laugh, lower, pressed into the other's cheek. "You deserve so much better than this. Than all of this."
NATE
