all i can do is stand on the curb and say sorry about the blood in your mouth
Every time the attuned moves away, it's by his own request, and yet it still sends Nate spiralling, into a deep lonely void. Still feels like eons, spent along, suffering. Thinking about the face he'd seen in the mirror, the darkness on his right side, every little piece feeling distant, unconnected, the real, terrifying whole still too much to swallow. What had even happened? What had he even done? Was it random, or...
The other man is back before his paranoia truly begins, though it's only simmering now, waiting to creep in.
With everything Sunjata is doing for him, the care, the blade in his face, the least Nate can do is turn towards him, is mumble, force out raspy words. The subject is maybe not the best choice, but it's all that there is in his mind, no filter there to keep them from spewing right out. "Feels... I feel it... s'deep, y'know. T'much." It's a fight, but he keep his left hand still, squeezing the cushions of the couch, but his right buries itself in Haai's fur, fingers stroking just so something can move, so he doesn't have to just think about the sound, the buzz of sensation inside his face. "M'sorry, Sunny, I'm... fucked it up... an' I can't... I can't..." There's a breakdown, just nonsensical murmurs, low whines, before Nate picks up again. "After... damp wrap, um... eyes done... then..."
Then it was just waiting, seeing if it healed, if it even could heal, seared closed as it was, a gash forever changing the topography of his face. And just because the care had been done didn't mean things were better. Though maybe he'd finally get the chance to curl up, to try and hideaway, to break down and desperately fit the pieces back together into something that seemed like him. Would he, could he be that person ever again? His mind shifts, desperately, weakly, to the Voice, but would even divine intervention be able to change what has happened, could it heal the scars left inside, even if his face is made whole again?
Despite what he knows needs to happen, the instructions he'd given, as soon as Sunjata pulls away, an arm reaches out to grab him, to hold him close, just for a moment, to make up the time he'd abstained. It's by no means a strong hold though, broken in only a few moments, if the other man doesn't shift first.
The other man is back before his paranoia truly begins, though it's only simmering now, waiting to creep in.
With everything Sunjata is doing for him, the care, the blade in his face, the least Nate can do is turn towards him, is mumble, force out raspy words. The subject is maybe not the best choice, but it's all that there is in his mind, no filter there to keep them from spewing right out. "Feels... I feel it... s'deep, y'know. T'much." It's a fight, but he keep his left hand still, squeezing the cushions of the couch, but his right buries itself in Haai's fur, fingers stroking just so something can move, so he doesn't have to just think about the sound, the buzz of sensation inside his face. "M'sorry, Sunny, I'm... fucked it up... an' I can't... I can't..." There's a breakdown, just nonsensical murmurs, low whines, before Nate picks up again. "After... damp wrap, um... eyes done... then..."
Then it was just waiting, seeing if it healed, if it even could heal, seared closed as it was, a gash forever changing the topography of his face. And just because the care had been done didn't mean things were better. Though maybe he'd finally get the chance to curl up, to try and hideaway, to break down and desperately fit the pieces back together into something that seemed like him. Would he, could he be that person ever again? His mind shifts, desperately, weakly, to the Voice, but would even divine intervention be able to change what has happened, could it heal the scars left inside, even if his face is made whole again?
Despite what he knows needs to happen, the instructions he'd given, as soon as Sunjata pulls away, an arm reaches out to grab him, to hold him close, just for a moment, to make up the time he'd abstained. It's by no means a strong hold though, broken in only a few moments, if the other man doesn't shift first.
i wish it was mine
NATE
