my held breath fills the room with blood
hurting in ways I can't describe
There is so little that words can adequately express, especially between two reticent individuals such as themselves. Hotaru knows she is unlikely to convince him of his innocence, but that doesn't mean she can't communicate it through her actions. Her loyalty, her trust in him. Nothing will sway her, and perhaps over time he will begin to understand that this was not his fault. That Rexanna would not have blamed him, as Hotaru does not. This is something only time and closeness can hope to heal, and it's all she has to offer aside from the stricture of her grasp and the heartbeat she tries to meld with his own.
The idea of freeing her soul is one that her own selfish one attaches to instantly, but she falters a moment later. "Could we do it for them all? I couldn't bear to condemn her to eternity away from Bastien and Azrael." Terrified to ask, to have it revealed that it is a decision that must be made on Rexanna's behalf, that they may harm her with their own greed and grief. All the same, Hotaru is not the type to deny herself that which she wants, and she clings to the idea of meeting Rexanna in the afterlife. Unimpeded by The Voice's possessive, clutching fingers.
"We bury our dead. We make our plans. We go to war, because that is all we ever seem to be good for. And we hope that our deeds earn us respite someday in the afterlife, if we are not meant to earn it here." For they don't seem to ever be afforded it. No peace, no love or companionship that is not lost in horrific ways. To her, it is the only crutch she can utilize. The slow burn of anger at a world that is unjust, and the goal to continue trying until at last she has done all she can. Returned Rexanna's soul, helped to raise Azrael, whatever it is she must do to feel she has earned her moratorium when death comes for her. A bleak outlook, but all that she can offer. "We cling to what we have. We try all the harder, because the world will never try to stop taking from us. And we can't afford to relax." Her head tilts upon his shoulder, hating that this is the way she views the world, but unable to summon optimism where the fields have lain barren for most of her life.
The idea of freeing her soul is one that her own selfish one attaches to instantly, but she falters a moment later. "Could we do it for them all? I couldn't bear to condemn her to eternity away from Bastien and Azrael." Terrified to ask, to have it revealed that it is a decision that must be made on Rexanna's behalf, that they may harm her with their own greed and grief. All the same, Hotaru is not the type to deny herself that which she wants, and she clings to the idea of meeting Rexanna in the afterlife. Unimpeded by The Voice's possessive, clutching fingers.
"We bury our dead. We make our plans. We go to war, because that is all we ever seem to be good for. And we hope that our deeds earn us respite someday in the afterlife, if we are not meant to earn it here." For they don't seem to ever be afforded it. No peace, no love or companionship that is not lost in horrific ways. To her, it is the only crutch she can utilize. The slow burn of anger at a world that is unjust, and the goal to continue trying until at last she has done all she can. Returned Rexanna's soul, helped to raise Azrael, whatever it is she must do to feel she has earned her moratorium when death comes for her. A bleak outlook, but all that she can offer. "We cling to what we have. We try all the harder, because the world will never try to stop taking from us. And we can't afford to relax." Her head tilts upon his shoulder, hating that this is the way she views the world, but unable to summon optimism where the fields have lain barren for most of her life.
my heart bends and breaks
so many, many times
HOTARU
