Reading is fundamental (OPEN)

R E M I Had Remi's eyes not been focused on his transmutating hand he might have seen Jigano reach across the table. If he had, he certainly would have let the bard see (or touch, rather) for himself that there was no illusion work here. But he didn't, nor did the alchemist have any reason to think that any verification would be needed. Shifters and their ability to half-shift was common in Northaven. Remi didn't know that such wasn't the case here (at least with the half-shifting anyways). Experts. Not a shifter then. Not that Remi had been looking for advice necessarily, he found himself slightly disappointed to know that Jigano did not understand what he was going through, even in a tangential sense. Trying to explain what it was like taking on another body to someone who'd never experienced the phenomenon was quite difficult. Lips quirking slightly, Remi nodded. "Yes, I have been trying to practice, but I usually only do so when someone is around to...ahh...step in should I lose control." Absently he felt his leg offer a phantom spasm of pain where Vai had shot an arrow through it to stop him. Grinning with relief, the alchemist allowed an easy chuckle to flow from his lips at the lack of horror or rejection writ on his companion's pale features. "If the luxere are as gentle as they are described I very much doubt a lion would be welcome anyways. Nor a hawk even." The alchemist said with a light shrug. As much as Remi enjoyed flying, it did feel strange to be so divided from the world. The only people Remi felt comfortable being in his shift around for prolonged periods of time were those like him...and Vai of course. It seemed rude to be something else that couldn't communicate verbally and whose body language was so easily misinterpreted, or at least it seemed that way to the alchemist. "Your singing?" Remi asked, an astonished look contorting his boyish features at the rather charming notion. Again, the thought that these creatures were nothing more than fables rose in his mind which only broadened his smile. "Mmmhmm. I acquired some for teas and the like, but it is even quite good on its own. It can be found all throughout the woodlands." The turn back towards Frey made a flush of coral appear on the alchemist's cheeks, especially at the mention of bondage. With a groan that resolved itself into a nervous chuckle, Remi nodded. No matter how many times he told this story he still felt the cold oppressive weight of failed responsibility at what had happened. "I suppose so, yes. It was in the temple only a day or so after we had arrived. Frey appeared to myself and two others, and upon their arrival all of our clothes were taken and we found ourselves bound and gagged." Biting the inside of his cheek Remi twirled the feather gentle between his fingers, shifting his legs uncomfortably beneath the table. "I saw this particular god again, at the shrine in the glade. It did not take our clothes that time, but we were similarly gagged." Shaking his head slightly, Remi's eyes stole furtive glances across the table at Jigano trying to gauge his reaction to all of this. "I was cursed and the woman I was with at the time returned again to the god and was likewise cursed. Or rather, given some sort of challenge. Quest perhaps. I do not know..." But the other gods do not appear to have the same taste for...this sort of sexual fascination. Or the other two I know of at least."

"I'm not a fighter by preference," Jigano apologized, feeling he should caution the young man fairly. By necessity, yes... but not if he had a choice in it. And he had neither the strength nor weaponry to wound a lion. His rapier - lessened by its journey to this world - wouldn't do more than annoy such a beast. "If something does happen, I won't be able to stop you. But I can at least let Isla know what's happened and she can hopefully gather your friends to help." He chuckled in return, letting the luxere brighten the mood. "And since they avoid fresh meat, I'd say you are correct in not taking a predatory form around them. But... yes, they enjoyed my singing. I am, among other things, a bard - an entertainer. Songs and tales are my stock in trade, and if I weren't good at them I would likely starve." He winked, grin a tad mischievous.

"I'm also partial to a cup of tea or two... I would indeed be grateful if you could show me which trees to harvest from," Jigano added, interest bright in his blue eyes.

The gods may have been a less innocent subject, but they were important - at least in their own minds. And in how they could affect the mortals at their altars. At least it sounded like Remi and his folk had gone willingly, but that made the enforced humiliation, binding, and gagging even more baffling... and entirely unpalatable. Though even Jigano had to admit that the pup had an enchanting blush. Perhaps that had tempted the too-forward godling? It was just as obviously an uncomfortable story, though, not merely from his words but in the little shifts of his body and the nervous play of his fingers on the feather. When Remi glanced at him, Jigano met his eyes solemnly, giving neither amusement nor judgment back, but listening intently. "Cursed..." he murmured, lips finally curving in a frown that was directed above Remi's curly head as the bard sat back, brows creasing in thought. "Frey, you say their name is? Hmm. Not one of the older gods I've seen mentioned in the histories, then. I appreciate the warning in what to expect if I have the misfortune to run across them, though. A 'less fortunate' god, indeed." He shook his head returning his attention to his companion, blue eyes fierce with an intensity of focus as he followed the track of these new facts. "Can you talk about your curse? Or would you prefer to let it lie? I would ask about the other gods instead, if that's easier for you."

R E M I By preference? That was a rather leading way of phrasing that—and a sentiment that Remi could wholeheartedly agree with. "But without a mouth to sing with apparently I won't be very useful." Remi quipped with an easy and immediate smile. "This body seems like it is probably best suited for us both then." He added, the implication being that it was not one Jigano would find himself needing to fight off. "And for Isla. She is busy enough as it is without me sending more patients her way." It felt incredibly strange to joke about possibly hurting the man across from him so badly that he'd need to see the medic, and yet here Remi was doing precisely that. "Oh?" The alchemist inquired, sitting up a tad straighter with a sideways grin. His pale eyes ghosted over Jigano for a moment noting the way his robes were wrapped close around his torso despite being billowy everywhere else. Quirking a brow as his eyes returned back to Jigano's Remi grinned. "And yet you look quite trim. I assume that is because of your abilities as a performer and not because you are barely making enough to feed yourself?" The alchemist winked, clearly meaning no malice by the comment as he leaned back in his chair. "Happily." Remi agreed with a breezy smile. "There are plenty of herbs here not native to my land. Perhaps you will recognize them, but I have been shown by the locals which are poisonous and which have other...effects. I have sketches in my shop you can look at given that many are now buried under the snow." Remi nodded in acknowledgement of the name, his lips twisting slightly as his brows seemed to mirror the movement. "Older gods?" He repeated with an avian-like tilt of his head, pale eyes quizzically flitting between Jigano's eyes. Swallowing, Remi offered a half smile as he nodded. Being honest was part of Remi's particular brand of subservience. And as it was, the lack of love made the entire thing if not easy to talk about, at least not painful. There was nothing over which his emotions could feel pain for. There was just an absence; an empty grave over which to tearlessly mourn. "I have only ever been in love once." Remi began with a bashful and diffident smile. "And...Frey took that from me. All of the feelings and associated emotions...gone. It was punishment for being rude, I think, though I had not meant to offend." This latter statement was added hastily, with Remi's eyes darting upwards and a pathetically pleading look upon his face. "They said the only way to have my feelings restored was to give them what they wanted, which early in the conversation, they had said was passion and love and true desire and want..." Laughing pathetically, Remi shook his head sadly. "All the things that they took from me."

Again one pale brow rose at the pup's overconfidence - so sure he could hurt Jigano, that the bard would be sent to the infirmary as patient instead of messenger. He didn't say anything to contradict his companion, but he let the silence speak volumes as he glanced down at his book again, scanning a new page - the last in the entry on the luxere.

Talk of the luxere was a good way to lighten the atmosphere, at least, and Jigano smiled at Remi's joking, giving a lordly nod of his head at the assumption. "I'd like to think so," he murmured, an understatement and perhaps a bit of false modesty. "Though the food here is rather... bland." Tired might have been a better word for it. Not as flavorful or sustaining as it should be; a problem of the barrier and generations of inbreeding, no doubt.

"I'll pay a visit, then," the bard once again returned his companion's smile, rubbing a page of the book between his fingers thoughtfully as he studied the paper used in its creation. "And thank you for the invitation. Isla pointed it out to me earlier, I just haven't had time to stop by before now." He wished he had some tea now, in fact, the talking proving thirstier than reading would have been.

Both brows went up this time at the question, and Jigano tilted his head back, echoing Remi's gesture with conscious amusement that they shared the same habit. "Yes? The first four. I had hoped to seek them out, but..." he shrugged, watching the other man thoughtfully. "They're mentioned in the histories of this world, however broken and incomplete most of them are. Caido, the creator. Rae, god of nature and Vi, of life. And Mort, of course. An interesting pantheon, to be sure. Mort, Vi, and Rae seem to have equal standing beneath Caido, though Mort could stand opposite either Caido or Vi in aspect of ending versus beginnings, and Rae's aspect takes elements from both Vi and Mort, perhaps indicating a line of descent-- But here I am, rambling." He chuckled, giving an apologetic nod and changing the topic back to the curse and the new gods Remi had spoken of.

The curse was as devastating as it was unexpected. Pale brows pulled together in intense thought as Remi continued. Jigano had never known romantic love, but there were more ways to care for people than that, and he found a swirl of loathing in his heart for this  callous 'Frey' who would steal something so intimate. "Tell me," the Lorekeeper found himself saying, his tone gentle but commanding. "Tell me everything you remember. What did they say, exactly?"

These people weren't his problems, weren't his responsibility. He was out of the business of saving others. He could tell himself that, and could even mean it. But sometimes... he just couldn't help himself. Old habits died hard.

As hard as old friends.

R E M I Remi interpreted the silence as uncomfortableness on the bard's part, which was of course understandable. Swallowing down his guilt and dismay at having spoken so out of turn, Remi watched silently as Jigano's pale lashes fluttered downwards as the man paused to read more. Biting the inside of his cheek the alchemist waited with a held breath to see if he'd just ended their conversation with his stupidity and admitted occasional aggressiveness. Grinning both in relief and at Jigano's light-hearted quip, Remi's smile grew slouchy as he chuckled. Bland certainly was a good word for the food, and the world as it happened. The ground was blandly coloured, the sky blandly diluted, and even the animals (capricious as they could be) seemed bland as well. Though this sort of academic exposition was not normally what caught the alchemist's attention, he listened intently.  "Mort.." Remi mumbled tonelessly, swallowing down hard the lump that had suddenly bloomed in this throat. "Nature, life and ... " Pale eyes shining with fear, Remi's lips fell open slightly. "Then Mort is the god of death?" Oh how many things were suddenly falling into place. Ludo constantly trying to lead him to his death ... no wonder he said the alchemist would meet Mort if he followed through. "Ludo spoke of Mort." Remo said quietly, the heat that had previously filled his cheeks now turning cold and making them look all the more red for it. Indeed his eyes were wide with remembered panic and fear, so unlike the predator he'd just admitted to being. Startled slightly by Jigano's question, Remi's lips fell back together as he blinked gawkily a few times. "Ahh—" He began trying to remember the specifics of the encounter. "Ehm.." Uncomfortably Remi ran a hand backwards-to-front through his curls and found himself unable to meet Jigano's gaze. "That first encounter...when we were bound and naked, when Frey released the bindings they wanted us to..." Pausing, his breathing growing ragged with distress making his oddly-accented punctuation of the words sound all the more emphatic, he struggled to continue. "..one of the women there was a virgin and—" Helplessly the words broke off as Remi's gaze rose from the feather he'd been staring at again, afraid to find Jigano's gaze (surely critical and disgusted). "I did not though, much as Frey made me feel compelled to." He managed finally, his happy face suddenly quite cheerless. "And so this time around, when they appeared to Rexanna and I naked, I merely asked if sex was what was required to ... to trade? If that was what they wanted from us, in exchange for information." Stage set, the alchemist could finally answer the bard's actual question. "They said they did not want meaningless sex, but passion, desire, pleasure, and heat, and raw want and need and love.  They said they took my love as a tribute, and that if I wanted it back I would have to return with something they wanted, and to not return without something which would please them." So saying with his face red with shame and eyes shiny with anguish, Remi fell silent.

The gods were not a pleasant topic - for either of them, really, but the local gods were, at least, largely academic to Jigano. Words on a page, harmless so far, and curiously fascinating. But for Remi they seemed far more... personal. And not in a good way at all.

It didn't take a fox's nose to sense the fear that came off the man, or the tension that thrummed through his handsome frame. Jigano watched him warily, as much to gauge how much harm his words had inadvertently done as to make sure he didn't accidentally trigger a stress-shift in the 'Attuned' man across from him. Ludo?

But-- "Breathe," he said gently instead. "Slowly. Six counts in, six counts out. There are no gods here right now." At least, he hoped.

Frey seemed a somewhat safer topic, though the more he heard of them the more he thought he might like to have a chat with that particular god. If it wasn't suicide to chastise a deity in their place of power. He had gone up against more than one would-be god in his time, but no true deities, and being what he was... he had no doubt as to the outcome of such a confrontation.

Still, the more he heard the more a simmer of true anger began to boil in his chest. It was strange and almost unfamiliar - it had been so long since he'd been truly mad at anyone. He stayed silent, letting Remi continue while keeping his face carefully calm, controlled as a bard's acting mask.

But his eyes snapped with blue fire.

When Remi fell silent Jigano let out a breath, slowly, and took another, following his own suggestion for calming breathing. After a moment he spoke gently, leaning forward deliberately - to show Remi he was neither afraid nor disgusted with him. "Frey," he said with cool judgment. "Is... similar in some ways, yet dissimilar in others, from one of the gods of my world. And while I don't doubt their power..." he paused, mind racing and brow furrowing in thought. "They are also under no obligation to tell the truth. Not if they're the kind to force others to act without consent. Perhaps they did not take your love from you... so much as temporarily numbed it?" He nibbled his lip, fingers drumming softly against the table. "Or perhaps... they seek to make you earn your love back, anew? Starting from the beginning again -  starting fresh. They took what was in the past, but I do not think they can take what is in your future." His smile was more sincere, if a little lopsided. "That's the whole point, after all. The game's no fun if they already know the outcome. They cast us like dice because they don't know what numbers we'll turn up. Which doesn't stop some of them from trying to cheat, of course. They're gods, not saints." He sat back, glancing ruefully down at the book that wasn't getting read as much as he'd hoped... but the book would be there later. Remi was here now.

"Your lover... are they here as well?"

R E M I Remi had never been calmed in that way before, but, obedient as he normally was, he did just as Jigano instructed. Swallowing, he fluttered his lashes closed and inhaled deeply while silently counting to six. Holding his breath for just a moment, he exhaled in a rush not quite making it to 6 but perhaps close enough. [say]"I am not sure we can ever know that for certain."[/say] He said, but there was a slight smile on his lips as he let his eyes open once again. Remi perhaps did not feel immediately better about the situation, and though he wasn't sure that the breathing helped he did feel immensely grateful that Jigano had tried to offer him some sort of coping mechanism. The way Jigano's eyes had shifted from something soothing like a summer sky to something sharp and cold but hot at the same time. It made the alchemist sit up a bit straighter, eye lashes fluttering with puzzlement wondering if perhaps he'd said something too much, or if perhaps Jigano favoured one of the gods of which he'd spoke..? However as the man began speaking, his tone did not imply any sort of fealty that Remi could hear, and the alchemist relaxed his tense posture slightly. Listening carefully he considered Jigano's words. While he didn't necessarily disagree—it did seem as though Frey was willing to give his feelings back if certain conditions were met—the explanation didn't soothe him either. "The game.." Remi all but whispered, the skin around his eyes seeming to quake as his forehead wrinkled with his pained expression. If anything playing with him sounded more like an occupation of Ludo's, not Frey's, but of course who was Remi to know the mind of a god? The question of Loren halted Remi's line of inquiry in its tracks, and for a moment he could only stare gravely at Jigano. Lowering his eyes slightly, Remi was surprised to feel the pinpricks of tears stinging the back of his nose and just behind his eyes. It was surprising only insofar as without the emotional capacity to feel something for Loren, he had not. But this wasn't a question of love, it was a question of where. And in that, Remi could feel something about and for the Launceleyn. And he did. Much as Remi was in love with Loren, the two had been friends before all the complicated stuff had occurred, and the alchemist still missed his friend deeply. That and the fact that Loren was apparently holed up in a 'sex cave' (Edy's words, not his),  was also deeply wounding. "Yes." Remi said, eyes focusing on the feather before setting it down with a sort of finality that Jigano likely wouldn't understand. Feathers and Loren..Those were thoughts he didn't need to think just now. "He did come through to Caido with the rest of us. He is...ah..." Swallowing, for he'd really only said this to Vai thus far and he was finding the lump that grew in his throat rather hard to talk around, he tried to continue. "..he has relocated for now, I believe." But that wasn't going to answer Jigano's next question, which was surely to be Well you should find him and just fall in love again, right? And so, steeling himself, Remi tried on a smile before letting it slide away. "I think...I have been told that he is seeing someone." He tried, eyes flickering self consciously upwards towards Jigano, before darting away again as his cheeks flushed and the colour roamed towards his ears. Many might see Frey's curse as actually a blessing in disguise. If you were going to be blown off, better not to feel anything towards the person who'd left you. But the kindly alchemist didn't feel that way. Loving Loren had been an awakening. The librarian was the first man that Remi had allowed himself to have feelings for, and it was because of Loren that he'd finally abandoned the shackles that Northaven had placed on him. He'd never loved before Loren, and so he'd never had his heart broken. Even so, he lamented the absence of that pain, if only because it was real. And because it was all he had left.

Dammit. He hadn't intended to make the pup so upset with his lines of questions. Clearly the god hadn't taken all of his emotions for the lover, even if the passion had been put on ice. Jigano sighed, watching Remi struggle and feeling a flicker of remorse for pressing as hard as he had. The smile was as false as it was fleeting, the answer to a question he hadn't quite decided to suggest already falling from the young man's lips. "Oh, lad," he said softly, sympathy in his versatile voice.

"Before or after the curse?" He hesitated, then shook his head. "No, forgive me, Remi. It's not my business and I shouldn't be digging up such terrible memories. I'd like to learn about these gods you mentioned. I haven't seen them in the texts I've read. Frey, Ludo... these names are new to me. Worrisome, from what you've told me so far. But we can go back to researching the Long Night, if you'd prefer? Truly, I didn't intend to upset you."

He glanced down to his empty hand, examining the carefully-pared curve of his nails as he rested his fingers against the page beneath. A beautiful black and white illustration of some sparkling, fiery bird lay beneath, but for a moment his eyes saw a different world, a stony face and soft eyes filled equally with loyalty and disappointment...

"But I suppose I am rather good at it, yes? Words are my weapons and I don't always remember to keep them sheathed." He took a breath, blew it out slowly, and raised his gaze to look at Remi again, taking in the other man's expression and what he'd caused, making sure he would remember it. "If you'd like, I can leave now. Let you..." recover "... focus," he finished gently.

R E M I Never one to lean heavily on sympathies (mostly because they'd been so lacking during his formative years), the alchemist shrugged away Jigano's soft sympathy. Waving away the topic of what had happened to Remi, the alchemist listened for any subtext that would indicate that his pale-haired companion truly did want to know more. However if Jigano's aim was to know more about the gods themselves, then this topic probably could be put to rest. Remi wasn't the type to vocalize his problems as a way of working through them, and though he'd shared a fair amount of his troubles with the bard, it was only out of subservience rather than a need to actually talk about things. Still, he could offer more. Shaking his head with a bright smile that spoke not of a feigned attempt at being cheerful but rather a disposition that tended towards the positive, Remi swallowed and smiled. No wordsmith was he, nor had he ever aspired to such, the alchemist just chuckled gently at the alluring verbal images. "Please do not apologize. You merely asked the questions, it was I who chose to answer them." He began with a bashful smile, the sincerity in his voice clear as if it really was he who was bringing this all on himself. "I am enjoying your company, and would be happy to tell you more of the gods I have encountered." Remi ventured, brows raised in a hopeful expression. After having just regurgitated what had happened with Loren, the alchemist suddenly felt very silly for having come to the library hoping to see him at all. Even more silly for the note he'd thought to leave for the man, explaining that he did still love him. Jigano's presence was a welcome change from the lonely silence that Remi hadn't realized he'd been stewing in.

The pup recovered rather quickly, Jigano couldn't help but think as the smile came back to Remi's face, which had looked on the verge of tears mere moments before. He kept his own expression sympathetic, but a twist of caution worked its way through his thoughts: was Remi really the ingenue he presented himself as? The bard wasn't used to being tricked... but he wasn't infallible, either. It was entirely possible the young man was playing him for a fool, or playing some other game with him.

Or perhaps his emotions simply were that volatile. He was young enough yet that it was far from unheard of, even if Jigano's own adolescence had been far less exciting - for which he was increasingly grateful.

"Just thinking about them was painful, so indeed I shall apologize," he said, voice still gentle, but with a firmness underlying his tone. "Whether you answered or not, I put your mind on the trail of such unpleasant things. Though of course, you are under no obligation to accept my apology." He tilted his head, knowing that, in fact, Remi would insist on accepting it - and because he couldn't seem to help but try to please who he was with, it was't necessarily an acceptance that meant anything. Empty words to soothe, meant well in the moment but lacking the weight of permanence.

Well. And who better to recognize that particular road to hell?

"As I am enjoying yours," Jigano assured with a wry smile. Give or take the urge to bundle you home to your parents. "And more-- I appreciate the knowledge that you're sharing with me. If this Ludo has fewer dark memories attached, I'd appreciate hearing of him. If not... there is always the Sparkbird."

R E M I Indeed, the alchemist nodded dutifully, though the rueful smile on his lips indicated that he still felt owed nothing at all. But that particular symptom of his personality would likely never be cured. Remi chuckled. "Funny that you would phrase it that way.." Picking up the feather once again, Remi twirled it between his fingers as he took a breath. Though these memories were unpleasant to remember as well, the alchemist's last encounter with Ludo had left him...a bit befuddled. The god was still a divine pest, but something had changed. It probably had to do with the snowball. "The first time I encountered Ludo it was in the Woodlands. Only it was not Ludo that I thought I saw, but my mother." Punctuating his words gently with the feather, Remi shook his head sadly at his own naive stupidity. "But she had been dead for years you see, died when I was only 6. But I thought ... well. I do not know what I thought truly. Only that if we were all here somehow, that perhaps it could be here. And so she beckoned me to follow and I did. She led me into a swamp and eventually it became clear that she wanted me to kill myself there. To be with her—" Remi's pale gaze flashed upwards for a moment, looking across to Jigano through dark lashes. "That was when the lion made its first appearance." Swallowing Remi's lips forced a smile as he took a steadying breath. "It was then that Ludo revealed itself. It was all black cloth and a shockingly white mask. It was disappointed that I evaded death, but it gave me the magic that I now possess—" To emphasize this, the feather gently floated upwards from his hand, sketched a signature in the air, before slowly falling back down. "The second time I am ashamed to say very much the same thing happened. I believed I saw an old friend by the barrier. He said he had found a way through it, but it was merely Ludo's attempt to make my kill myself once again by remaining too close to the barrier for too long. That time though...it offered me a gift in exchange for one of my memories. And once it had the memory it became the woman who the memory was focused around. And the gift it gave me was its mask. I have not put it on of course. I cannot even imagine what would happen if I did."

Jigano raised a brow at Remi's own phrasing but let the younger man proceed at his own pace, without trying to rush him. He smoothed his expression and glanced to his book, skimming the legend under the sparkbird illustration while his companion gathered his thoughts. The bard looked up again as the young... alchemist, Isla had called him? - started speaking again, but the first words out of his mouth grabbed the lorekeeper's attention and held him fast. He let himself frown, not at all liking that the gods were impersonating a mortal--

Even less, one who had died.

Especially using their image to try and guilt someone to suicide.

Jigano ground his teeth together, though his fingers remained light and gentle on the book in his hands. He met Remi's gaze squarely, however, his displeasure firmly on the deity and not the man. What the fuck was wrong with these mad gods? he thought, blasphemous but finding much of his cautious respect fading at what they had done to the boy across from him.

Nor was that all. Remi continued, flaunting the magic he had gained and detailing a second encounter with eerie similarities to the first. Enough so that Jigano had to stifle the urge to reach across the table and shake the lad in the hopes of rattling loose a few crumbs of sense in that pretty head.

When the recitation came to an end, the lorekeeper restrained himself admirably from reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, instead taking a slow breath to settle his thoughts. "So... a pattern begins to emerge. Ludo... challenges, and if you survive, he rewards. But not without price. He seeks for someone to prove themselves worthy of trading with him, while he gives nothing away for free. Entertainment, in exchange for magic. A memory - for a mask. That you would part with one so willingly after what Frey took by force..." Jigano shook his pale head, sighing. "Gods most fortunate, Remi, how have you survived as long as you have?"

R E M I Given that Remi was purportedly a man of science perhaps it was a bit strange that he hadn't noticed the pattern that Jigano seemed to latch onto immediately. But of course these divine interactions were so far out of the realm of anything Remi had thought he'd ever encountered perhaps we can forgive his mind for being a tad less sharp than normal. Entertainment in exchange for magic. The alchemist sat up straighter. Was that what he was to Ludo? Entertainment? No doubt it felt as though the god had taken a strange personal interest in him, but he had (perhaps very wrongly) assumed that entertainment was someone out of the realm of gods. Though the alchemist had a few talents, he would never have thought entertainment was one. Then again there had been the snowballs... "Ludo did...ask." The alchemist interrupted awkwardly. Ask seemed to imply that he had a choice, and had Remi declined the deity's offer he wasn't exactly sure what would have happened. But the semblance of freewill was comforting even now. "The mask was ... an after thought. A gift in the sense that it was not given as payment. Ludo said I could name my price, and I asked of the barrier and how we might leave. That seemed information worth knowing even if it meant losing a memory. I even chose which memory to lose, and I do not miss it. " Flinching as if struck, a look of almost sad disappointment darkened the alchemist's features as Jigano asked how it was he'd survived as long as he had. Blinking and lowering his eyes Remi fumbled with the feather and shook his head slightly. "Easily." He murmured gently, voice low. "My life has never been this...exciting before." Indeed, as a commoner living in a one-room home with a door that didn't completely close, adventure was the farthest thing from Remi's humble life. "Perhaps you are right though, and I should just..." The alchemist trailed off and shrugged. And what? Stay home? Stay in his shop? Stay away from the likes of Ronin who always seems to invite danger?

Jigano sighed, starting to feel guilty again for pushing the boy but--

No. Not this time.

But that didn't mean he had to be cruel about things, either. "So he asked for a memory but didn't offer you anything in return until afterwards?" Jigano tried to clarify, but kept his voice gentle. "Remi... If you can't remember the memory he took, how do you know he took only the one you chose?" One hand fluttered in a shrug, fingers flexing as if to close on something and then release it to the sky. "The paradox of trying to remember a memory that is gone..." There were few things the bard hated more than mind-meddling. As soon as he'd had the strength and knowledge to do so he'd girded his mind from intrusion, spending his limited magic ruthlessly to keep his thoughts secret. He'd refused to learn spells of telepathy, even though they would have helped his friends and their mission greatly, for just such reason.

"And, no matter how painful... those events, those memories, make you who are you. How you carry them, whether you accept them, or confront them... or run away from them... define the kind of person you are. The kind of person you want to be." Jigano shook his head, eyes flickering bleakly for a moment before he drew in a breath and reached across the table to tap the book in front of his companion. Mention of the barrier teased at him, taunting with the nearness to his earlier research but... first things first.

"You should just?" he prompted, brow raised. "Gods most fortunate, Remi! You should 'just' learn from what has passed, and approach the world with a little more caution! A lamb in the woods might survive on luck alone to become a ram one day, but it's not likely if he doesn't learn to recognize the wolves." Sitting back, the older man sighed, caressing the edge of the book he held to help center and calm himself. "I should introduce you to my friend Samuel. Perhaps the two of you would get on well together... And he, at least, won't try to trick or steal from you."