From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Remi felt cold and still; untethered despite his fingers interlaced around Ronin's. Of course he knew this was the Star's answer. He'd be a fool not to. While he hadn't expected Ronin to lie, he...well. He hadn't really known, what he'd expected. The truth certainly...perhaps it was just strange to hear it said outside the confines of his own skull.
"I do know." Remi replied, absently scratching at his forehead and then brushing his fingers through his curls. "I do."
Now that the game had come to a fizzle, this last question dashing away the last remnants of playfulness that still lingered like hopeful spirits, the Alchemist put on a smile that felt illfitting.
"Home, then?"
who's got their claws in you my friend?
into your heart i'll b e a t again
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Remi knew, but it didn’t feel okay. Nothing did, not now that the answer he had insisted on was out there in the open. Ronin’s hand was cold in his husband’s, and he ran fingers through his hair distractedly before focusing back on the Alchemist. There was a time when they could compartmentalise, when they could brush away and pretend and sit on it all until it came roaring out. But that time had withered and died when Remi had once-upon-a-time thrown his wedding ring onto the rocks, and there was no going back there now.
”I am home,” Ronin said quietly, reaching out to brush a hand to the line of Remi’s jaw, letting his touch dance down to the scars along his throat, to the mottled mess on his chest. He pressed his hand there, to feel the beat of Remi’s heart against his palm and on his finger until they were practically in sync with his own. ”Do you miss him?” he asked. ”The man you were?”
Like a warm rain amidst a cold downpour, the Alchemist closed his eyes and let himself be soothed by Ronin's touch. He did know the Star still loved him; it screamed from the very marrow of his bones and whistled through the cockles of his heart. That was why all this was so upsetting, what made it so difficult to hear.
Raising a hand to capture Ronin's, keeping it pressed against his heart, Remi eyes moved softly beneath closed lids as he shook his head a fraction. "I don't know. That man...had scales over his eyes. It's what allowed him to be the way he was. I think I'd find him again, if I could, but.." Opening his eyes, soft green peering into vivid blue, Remi could only smile sadly. "But I see now. Not entirely, but more than he ever did."
I'd go back to being blind, if I could.
who's got their claws in you my friend?
into your heart i'll b e a t again
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Scooting closer on their cloud perch, Ronin leant in to drop a kiss onto Remi’s shoulder, his hand warm beneath the Alchemist’s. Hearing him it might be difficult, but it was easier than the silence of pretending.
”It’s a brave thing, to open your eyes to how fucking horrible the world can be,” he said, holding his husband’s sea glass gaze. ”But it’s just as dangerous to only see the bad as it is to only see the good.” Swinging from one extreme to the other, like a pendulum out of control.
“I’ve seen you be kind to a fault. And I’ve sent the other side of it too.” He shrugged his shoulders. ”All I care about is that you’re happy. That’s it.”
Remi snorted at that, offering his husband a roguish grin. "Bravery had nothing to do with it. I lived for over 20 years comfortably blind to it all." He said with dull defiance. No, his scales had been torn away by gods and murder. He'd have stayed blind had it been his choice.
'The bad is so easy to see, now. And the good seems...like trying to empty the ocean with a spoon. It seems so meaningless in the big scheme of it all." Studying the lines of his husband's face, the slivers of colour in his eyes, the stubble on his cheeks, the mounds of his lips, Remi took a breath and held it for a moment. "I think you're the only one. I haven't worried about my own happiness, since.." His fingers tightened against Ronins, against the scar tissue on his chest.
Since Aoife. Nearly a year gone now.
who's got their claws in you my friend?
into your heart i'll b e a t again
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin almost replied - but he stopped himself, worried about where the train of thought would go. If Remi wanted to be blind to it all again, he served a god capable of altering memories. But that was a double edged sword - what would it cost? Would he still be useful to Ludo if he was unable to kill?
So instead he tightened his arm around Remi, tugging him back against his chest so he could hold him close, his brows drawn into a concerned frown. ”Our daughter,” he said slowly, murmuring the words gently against the shell of his ear, ”did everything she could to make you smile. It was one of her favourite things to do.” Leaning in, he kissed the side of his neck.
”I think I worry about your happiness enough for the both of us anyway,” he mumbled.
It was selfish really, to let himself be so easily pulled and comforted against a chest that was still healing. So full of trauma and shrapnel that the embrace had to be uncomfortable. The man Ronin missed would have been intimately aware of this, shifting and doing everything in his power to ensure he was never a burden, never a cause for pain. This Remi though sunk against the Star heavily, an arm snaked around his husband's back.
'She never had to try.' Remi said softly. And then, "Gods I miss her so much." So much it made his toes curl and his mind grow scattered and frantic. It made him want to create monuments just to destroy them. It made fire rise in the back of his throat that threatened to be literal, demanding to be spit out in destructive streams.
'Well, it isn't as if you're up to much else." Remi chuckled humourlessly.
who's got their claws in you my friend?
into your heart i'll b e a t again
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
It did hurt, but the discomfort was nothing compared to not having Remi close to him. Ronin craved his husband’s touch, his warmth, the reassurance that he was there and real, and so it was that they were both selfish in this moment.
”I know. I know, I miss her too,” he whispered, letting out a deep sigh and lifting his head to brush his lips across Remi’s unshaven cheek. ”And I don’t plan to be up to much else for some time,” he informed his husband, offering him a small and knowing smile.
”You are a full time occupation, and I’m glad to take it on,” he said, leaning in to rest his forehead against Remi’s. ”I love you. It’s not just words. I fucking love you, Remi.”
'You never do.' Remi said of Ronin planning anything. Caido always had something on the go for the Star, whether it be through Safrin or Torchline or just...the ties and relationships he'd built.
Closing his eyes and breathing in Ronin's closeness—the heat and smell of him, the way the Alchemist could feel the creases in his forehead and anticipate the press of hair on his cheeks as it would brush against his own—almost laughed under his breath to hear Ronin say so. "Sitting on a cloud hearing you tell me you love me..." He muttered softly, tilting his head to touch his nose against Ronin's as well. "I don't deserve you."
And, knowing Ronin would likely argue with that, moved to silence his husband's objections with the slow press of his lips.
who's got their claws in you my friend?
into your heart i'll b e a t again
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin would likely argue with that - he was all ready and raring to go with arguments, in fact - but his complaints were sealed off with a kiss, his eyes slipping shut to savour the warmth and sweetness of Remi’s lips. ”I don’t care about being hurt,” he mumbled against them, his fingers working their way beneath the Alchemist’s shirt to seek scars and flesh alike.
”You came for me, in the middle of LongNight, at my very worst.” His breath caught in his throat for a second, Ronin caught in the parade of monsters in his head, before he forced his mind to replace them with crooked smiles and a boyish laugh and pale green eyes. ”I ought to be furious with you, but I’m not. I’m just glad you came.”
Remi's breath hitched in his throat as Ronin's fingers traced over skin that marbled between highly sensitive to the Star's touch and entirely deadened to it. The contrast was excruciating and perfect.
Having not yet really talked about Remi's reckless arrival in the Grounds, the Alchemist pulled back only enough to look at Ronin properly as he nodded. "I thought I could stay, I really did. That as hard as it was for me to remain in Torchline, knowing your task was far harder would make it...more bearable. But it didn't." Leaning forward again, Remi's lips brushed beneath one of Ronin's eyes. "I was crazy without you. Utterly mad." His lips moved to the bridge of Ronin's nose. "I quite literally couldn't stand being without you any more."
Exhaling a puff of air that almost sounded like a laugh, Remi let himself look into those blue eyes he knew oh so well. "It's you, for me. Ronin. I couldn't be with you."
who's got their claws in you my friend?
into your heart i'll b e a t again
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin hands were slow and thorough in their explorations; much as he knew his husband, much as he had kissed and caressed what felt like every inch of him, he never tired of it. Their bodies had changed significantly since their first fumbles in the guildhouse, and there was always more to Remi’s story that he wanted to tease out. Really, what the other man was saying should have been a concern, but instead it had a warm smile playing across Ronin’s lips, letting his eyes flutter closed to receive Remi’s affections.
”They never looked like you,” he whispered. ”The monsters. Not once - they never took your face. I don’t know why, but I like to think it’s because I would never have believed it, not until... the end.” When Remi had appeared, when Ronin was already broken.
Opening his eyes, his hand pressed to the small of Remi’s back, as if he could somehow get him closer than their already tangled embrace. ”Utterly mad, hm? I believe it.”
"What, this face?" Remi asked, head tilted in such a manner as to emphasize the boyish mischief writ across his features. "They'd give themselves nightmares, to look like me." He said, self-deprecating as ever. "I really should have kept that pendant Safrin made me...if you'd taken it with you, you'd always be sure which were monsters, and which weren't." Remi would find himself lamenting the loss of the pendant shortly thereafter too, for another man who couldn't always trust the evidence of his eyes.
Arching his back slightly against the soft pressure of Ronin's fingers, the Alchemist merely grinned and nodded. "Utterly." He agreed in a whisper. Utterly mad without Ronin, utterly in love.
who's got their claws in you my friend?
into your heart i'll b e a t again
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
”This face,” Ronin agreed; it was his turn to lean in and kiss the Alchemist, lips brushing against his cheeks, in the space just beneath his ear, the line of his jaw. ”Nightmares? I beg to differ.” Remi was everything the Star wanted, all rolled into one scarred package with a tendency to make inappropriate jokes.
”Doesn’t matter now,” he assured the other man. ”I am never going through another LongNight in the Grounds. Not unless you have to be there for some gods-awful reason.” Holding Remi close, his fingers warm and only getting warmer beneath the Alchemist’s shirt, he glanced around at their efforts to clean the beach. ”I guess we should dispose of this, and get home?”
