you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world
It’s not uncommon, Falke says - but Finn doubts that the few days of unsettled sleep that someone like, say, Dorian might experience have anything on his long nights of laying awake. Still, the Fixer is trying to do what he does best - fix - and so he keeps any of his opinions carefully under his tongue. It’s for his own good, in general, and he’s been doing this for long enough to know it at last.
”Yes,” he says of the mitigating efforts before sleep, before hesitating somewhat. ”At least at first. I have lapsed, these last couple of days. When sleep does not come, I work instead.” Notes always need writing, research always needs doing, and sometimes in the night with only the patter of rain as company, Finn gets some strange clarity from his mind.
That Falke even believes him about the properties of his spectacles (and honestly, Finn isn’t sure he believes it nowadays - perhaps it’s just a mechanism for his delusions to roar through) is something of a miracle. Finally taking a sip of tea as well, he lets his eyes shut, as if the weight of the lids are too much. ”We both know the answer to that,” he murmurs. Whenever necessary. ”I make sure to take regular days off. To walk the streets without them, talk to people.” With limited success, but it’s something.
”Yes,” he says of the mitigating efforts before sleep, before hesitating somewhat. ”At least at first. I have lapsed, these last couple of days. When sleep does not come, I work instead.” Notes always need writing, research always needs doing, and sometimes in the night with only the patter of rain as company, Finn gets some strange clarity from his mind.
That Falke even believes him about the properties of his spectacles (and honestly, Finn isn’t sure he believes it nowadays - perhaps it’s just a mechanism for his delusions to roar through) is something of a miracle. Finally taking a sip of tea as well, he lets his eyes shut, as if the weight of the lids are too much. ”We both know the answer to that,” he murmurs. Whenever necessary. ”I make sure to take regular days off. To walk the streets without them, talk to people.” With limited success, but it’s something.
and that, I believe
is why you are in so much pain
FINN
