NATE
Yeah. You have to, don't you? Adaptation had been a hard lesson to learn, but it was as natural to him now as breathing, maybe too much so. Another layer of defence, another subconscious tick. You can never be caught off guard if you roll with every punch. Big paws stretch wide, an unconscious attempt to move hands that aren't there, to work out some of the anxiety thrumming through Nate like a plucked string. The prod does what it's meant to, gives him a direction to keep moving in, but it's the warm blanket of support that has words actually leaving him. He did whatever he came his way. Before we, there's a disconnect here, where Nate's mind tries to say we and I at the same time, a stutter that repeats every time, were born he was some kind of kingpin. Got busted for it while he was doing some military thing in another country, and managed to talk his way outta jail.
The easiest way to do this is to just talk, to try and tap into that drunken lack of a filter by letting everything out too quickly to censor, but there's still pauses, in between the rambling, still moments where he has to percolate on what should actually come next. He always said I was just like him. He never fucking liked me, no matter what I did, but I was just like him. Who does that make sense to? It's not a joke, no matter how hard he tries. Nate knows exactly the places he's lacking in, the parts that earned him revulsion and anger. They're some of the only things that are still a part of him now. You know he taught me how to box? Don't think he ever expected that one to backfire on him. That one is a joke, a harsh bark that can only barely be called a laugh following it.
It might seem like he's following a strange tangent, but it's a straight line for Nate, a rope that he has to tug through everything before finally getting to the point, before finally getting some kind of emotional relief. I was excited when he finally let us in on all the shit he was doing. It was like something out of a movie, you know? A deep breath heaves out of Nate's nose, the first he's taken since they'd cuddled up together. It was the same old shit we'd been doing the whole time, running around packages, and hassling stores, and treasure hunting, but without the stupid code words. There is something building in Nate's tone, something he doesn't seem to have noticed yet. A sense of frantic urgency, like if he isn't speaking he's going to be running instead.
The easiest way to do this is to just talk, to try and tap into that drunken lack of a filter by letting everything out too quickly to censor, but there's still pauses, in between the rambling, still moments where he has to percolate on what should actually come next. He always said I was just like him. He never fucking liked me, no matter what I did, but I was just like him. Who does that make sense to? It's not a joke, no matter how hard he tries. Nate knows exactly the places he's lacking in, the parts that earned him revulsion and anger. They're some of the only things that are still a part of him now. You know he taught me how to box? Don't think he ever expected that one to backfire on him. That one is a joke, a harsh bark that can only barely be called a laugh following it.
It might seem like he's following a strange tangent, but it's a straight line for Nate, a rope that he has to tug through everything before finally getting to the point, before finally getting some kind of emotional relief. I was excited when he finally let us in on all the shit he was doing. It was like something out of a movie, you know? A deep breath heaves out of Nate's nose, the first he's taken since they'd cuddled up together. It was the same old shit we'd been doing the whole time, running around packages, and hassling stores, and treasure hunting, but without the stupid code words. There is something building in Nate's tone, something he doesn't seem to have noticed yet. A sense of frantic urgency, like if he isn't speaking he's going to be running instead.
Let’s admit, without apology,
what we do to each other
what we do to each other
