tell me Atlas what is heavier?
the world or its peoples hearts?
the world or its peoples hearts?
"And I've been despairing for seasons over asking for the chance to bond with a companion," he laughs breathlessly, a little stunned by the overwhelming giving nature of the goddess. It still feels wrong, despite Phoebe and now Sunjata implying it's perfectly normal. But maybe he'll find the courage to ask her the next time he saw her - whenever that may be, at this rate. "I asked what I could do for her, but I was so new here. I still don't know what I could accomplish for her here and now. Even in my old world, against magic and demigods and monsters...I've only ever just been me. Human. Plain." Shaking his head, he tilts his dark crown against the lighthouse wall, staring past Sunjata out at the stars. What could he even hope to do for her as he is now?
Unfortunately it does raise his hopes, desperate and wishing, though he stomps down on it immediately. Eyes stinging a little at the mere notion of Kova appearing through a portal, eyes shining green and dimples popping with her smile. Missed me, flyboy? The tears brush along his lashes at the mere idea, and he lifts his hand to conceal them for a moment as Sunjata's deep voice washes over him continually. "I can't let myself hope for it. I don't think I'd ever be able to move on if I entertained even the smallest possibility." He really is trying to move on, too. To recognize that Kova would have wanted him to be happy, that she wouldn't blame him for something he had no hand in. She had always been too good for him, for the world at large. "I know she would forgive me, and want me to move forward. Forgiving myself is harder." After a moment's pause, he reaches to squeeze his hand around Sunjata's ankle as the closest limb. "I'm sorry to hear about Lusea, truly." In this at least they can understand one another.
Sunjata's movement brings Harper's eyes back around more than the confirmation of who it is. "She's one of them, yes." Not denying it, but also confirming anew that she's not the only distressingly young person. Gods, even Oliver was young, wasn't he? And that wasn't even mutual. Harper listens attentively, quiet and contemplative. "She told me much the same. But how can I justify different upbringings as being an excuse for taking advantage when yes, she's an adult in the eyes of the populace here, but to me she still seems so young?" Groaning, he tilts his head in a thump against the wall behind him. "And to make matters worse, I seem to be the only one agonizing over it. If I gave in so to speak, nobody would look at me differently. But it's my own morals that are struggling." And those feel ingrained in him at this age.
"We've talked about it briefly, but admittedly her insistence that she's not a child comes across as just that. I don't like hurting her - hurting any of them, really. But I'm so...unsure. I've been thawing a little over time, but...what if I hurt her, or any of them, because I expect too much of them? What if they hurt me because they're not fully matured?" Admittedly something Harper worries about. For how strong he may be physically, he knows he lets people walk over him sometimes in hopes of pleasing them. And though he prays nobody he loves would take advantage of that, he remembers the young dating scene too. "I started dating Kova not far past twenty, so I feel hypocritical, but we were the same age. Making the same mistakes."
Unfortunately it does raise his hopes, desperate and wishing, though he stomps down on it immediately. Eyes stinging a little at the mere notion of Kova appearing through a portal, eyes shining green and dimples popping with her smile. Missed me, flyboy? The tears brush along his lashes at the mere idea, and he lifts his hand to conceal them for a moment as Sunjata's deep voice washes over him continually. "I can't let myself hope for it. I don't think I'd ever be able to move on if I entertained even the smallest possibility." He really is trying to move on, too. To recognize that Kova would have wanted him to be happy, that she wouldn't blame him for something he had no hand in. She had always been too good for him, for the world at large. "I know she would forgive me, and want me to move forward. Forgiving myself is harder." After a moment's pause, he reaches to squeeze his hand around Sunjata's ankle as the closest limb. "I'm sorry to hear about Lusea, truly." In this at least they can understand one another.
Sunjata's movement brings Harper's eyes back around more than the confirmation of who it is. "She's one of them, yes." Not denying it, but also confirming anew that she's not the only distressingly young person. Gods, even Oliver was young, wasn't he? And that wasn't even mutual. Harper listens attentively, quiet and contemplative. "She told me much the same. But how can I justify different upbringings as being an excuse for taking advantage when yes, she's an adult in the eyes of the populace here, but to me she still seems so young?" Groaning, he tilts his head in a thump against the wall behind him. "And to make matters worse, I seem to be the only one agonizing over it. If I gave in so to speak, nobody would look at me differently. But it's my own morals that are struggling." And those feel ingrained in him at this age.
"We've talked about it briefly, but admittedly her insistence that she's not a child comes across as just that. I don't like hurting her - hurting any of them, really. But I'm so...unsure. I've been thawing a little over time, but...what if I hurt her, or any of them, because I expect too much of them? What if they hurt me because they're not fully matured?" Admittedly something Harper worries about. For how strong he may be physically, he knows he lets people walk over him sometimes in hopes of pleasing them. And though he prays nobody he loves would take advantage of that, he remembers the young dating scene too. "I started dating Kova not far past twenty, so I feel hypocritical, but we were the same age. Making the same mistakes."
Harper
