salt in the water. sand blowin' in your eyes

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

"I hope you never learn that not to be the case." The Alchemist says somewhat cryptically. Once he too would have thought aiding a stranger in this strange set of circumstances the least he could do. Only recently had he learned how misguided that could be. The least Finn could do would have been to walk away; that he thought this was an obligation just spoke into the differences that still stood between the two men.

"I assumed you were staying at the Inn." Remi says, rubbing at a bruise forming near his wrist. This was his way of saying the lighthouse is in the opposite direction.

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

”I am somewhat set in my ways,” Finn murmurs, which is absolutely not the same as saying he will never change, never be changed. The events unfolding at his feet are like the edge of a cliff he is about to jump from, not knowing what lies beneath or what he might wake up to find in the morning. But he isn’t beyond helping people, that much is clear. Not yet, anyway. ”I am staying at the Inn,” he confirms to Remi, the words frank and honest.

But it’s the words between them that are the loudest. I don’t care that it’s in the opposite direction. I don’t wish to go back there anyway. I can’t stop seeing their faces. ”The offer is there if you would have the company.” Somehow, he doubts it. But again - it’s the least he can do.

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

For a long while Remi regards Finn. Or maybe it's just a few seconds, he hasn't been paying attention. Social niceties have ceased existing between the two if they ever did. He does actually want Finn to walk part of the way with him. That he isn't sure why is what makes him hold his answer like a marble in his mouth; should he spit it out, if only because swallowing it might choke him?

Rising, he simply nods. It's less of a lie that way.

"In the world I came from, people like me were given the bare minimum in terms of housing. Very early on I sold my bed for equipment to conduct my experiments." Remi says, almost conversationally as they step into the rain. It wasn't as if they were going to talk about what happened anyway.

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

Remi nods and Finn is already half turned away to walk with him, as if his body needs the movement to distance himself from all that has occurred tonight. The Alchemist falls into step with him and they disappear into shadowy, rainy streets; Finn’s hands are shoved in his pockets, his eyes on the ground ahead. Hearing Remi’s voice is a surprise, in fact - he’d practically assumed they would walk in silence.

”People like you?” he echoes, a note of curiosity in his voice like the chiming of a bell. ”I suppose selling the bed made more room for the experiments, too. What did you work on?” Chit chat is a foreign thing to Finn even under the easiest of circumstances. Why then, does it feel natural in a situation like this? Why can they exchange pleasantries in the wake of death?

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

"Mmhm. The very lowest class in our society." Remi smirks dryly at this. Not because of the irony of what he is now, but because something about it feels as though it still rings true today.

The dryness of his smile grows more genuine, his eyes glancing sidelong at Finn for a moment as he nods, rather warmed by the fact that this other man understands. Yes, having more room is precisely what I would have said too. "It did, yes. There was no surface left uncovered by my experiments, though...given how small it was, that isn't saying much." In his minds-eye he sees his one-room home. The 'kitchen' lines with odds and ends, the cooking fire used like a bunsen burner. "I was a weapons creator by appointment, so some of my experiments had to do with explosives. Many had to do with the stars. Mapping them, seeing them more clearly...making substances that could glow like they did." Shrugging slightly, Remi mirrors Finn in that his own hands are shoved into his pockets. "I made a good deal of alcohol as well."

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

Finn raises his eyebrows at that; he has imagined Remi as a number of things, his mind twisting and conjuring to suit its own whims, but low class has never been one of them. A pensive sort of smile curls the corners of his lips, and the Alchemist’s little room comes to life behind his eyes as well, though he obviously does not have the benefit of memory. It, too, is cluttered but clean in Finn’s mind, with all manner of inventions covering the space. Further details are added once Remi clarifies - explosives, telescopes, diagrams of the constellations, that sort of thing.

”It sounds like quite a quaint existence,” he says, with a small hint of envy under the words. There’s silence, then - a consideration, a held breath. And then, ”My parents lived a comfortable enough life, as far as I remember. But I was orphaned very young, and ended up on the streets for a time. Between alleyways, workhouses and the odd bedsit, the floor becomes an adequate enough place to sleep. You get used to it - I would have probably sold my bed as well.”

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

"Quaint." Remi repeats, the word tasting sweet on his lips. "I never thought so at the time. It was just...my life." Now perhaps with years between the time those memories were made and now, the Alchemist might allow his former self the adjective, strange as it seems.

Bordering on something that hints at friendship—or at least miserable commiseration—Remi tries to turn on a blind eye on the rapport that comes far too easily. Bad things happen when he gets along with people too easily: he either marries them or ruins everything entirely. "Sometimes I think the amount of pillows and sheets one has is directly related to how much the world expects of them." Because back then, Remi's responsibilities were as few as his luxuries.

"My father never did me the kindness of orphaning me, not even after my mother died." Remi says with a shrug. "Was it better or worse for you, that you were?"

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

”We never appreciate things when they are simple,” Finn echoes the sentiment with a wry twist of his lips. ”Mostly because we do not realise they are simple, not until life becomes much more complicated.” Not that he can say his life has ever been simple, not in that regard. Nor can he admit to much appreciating it, but that is neither here nor there.

Huffing out a laugh that’s lost in the rain, he nods, his hands balled into fists in his pockets, nails leaving small crescents in his palms. ”I second that notion. The world had very little expectation of me when I had nothing at all. It was almost freeing.” Still, the amusement drops away as Remi mentions his family. ”Much, much worse,” he says, the words barely a whisper. ”I was blessed with the misfortune of a loving family. The world took eager bites out of me, the moment it was given a chance.”

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

"You should put that on a keychain." Remi says of Finn's genuinely meant platitude. The words aren't meanly said, but they do hold a sort of vocal-shrug that wonders how the knowledge isn't meant to help him now.

If Remi could have seen the distress that manifested itself in delicate half-moons upon Finn's palm, would he have stopped his questions? Hard to know, but as it is the Alchemist's gaze is certainly nowhere near the man's pockets. Swallowing, Remi lets the Spyglass's words linger in the downpour. It's refreshing to hear of their differences as much as it is maddening. "Then.." Are you really asking this, of him? Do you have any right? Any right at all? Some doors at best left closed... "..why were you orphaned?" He asks, hand steady on the handle of this particular room of Finn's mind, his hand twisting to test the lock.

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

It’s like talking to a mirror sometimes, one that has been through more, seen more, done more, and maybe that’s why Remi is able to unlock his lips so easily. It’s because this is like talking to himself in a way; a version of himself much more accustomed to getting the things he wants by force. Either way, Remi guts him with his words, and his secrets all come spilling out. Finn feels every single cut.

”My father held a post in government, with some... controversial views. Those views eventually saw him killed and our family disgraced. In her grief my mother threw herself from the cliffs and into the sea shortly afterwards. I was told that her body hit the rocks and never made it to the water. They couldn’t recover her, so she is there, I suppose, even now.” Finn swallows hard. He remembers looking for her on bad nights, craning to see over the edges of the crags until he’d almost lost his own footing. He has never found her, though.

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

There is little to make the Alchemist feel his feelings this way, but the death of a mother...His stride falters and he finds himself out of pace with Finn. Rather than making up the step he lets himself stutter behind for a moment, eyes squeezed shut. He can see her there, small and hollowed out by disease on the bed, with the morning light spilling in. Her skin is sallow, but her eyes spark painful love for him still. A sound not unlike a moan leaves his lips in the world that exists outside of this memory and Remi loses the last bit of what Finn has to say to the pounding in his ears.

"I'm...sorry to hear that." And he sounds as if he means it, as he gives his head a slight shake and makes an effort to find himself at Finn's side again. "How old were you?"

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

Lost in his own memories, Finn doesn’t realise that he’s lost pace with Remi until he glances up and spots that the Alchemist has disappeared from his side. But then he pops up again and almost makes the Spyglass flinch with the comparative abruptness of it, Finn stuttering in a breath. ”It wasn’t your fault,” he murmurs, misunderstanding the apology in spades.

As for how old he was, he nibbles at the inside of his lip and shrugs like it doesn’t matter. ”I’d just turned eight, I think,” he says. There’s no I think about it - it had happened three weeks after his eighth birthday, not a day more or less. ”After that, living turned into surviving. You do what you have to.” Another shrug.

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

Rarely one to offer apologies these days, Remi is rather surprised how easily Finn shrugs it off. But to each their own; like ships in the night, the Alchemist and Spyglass continue to miss each other at every interesting opportunity.

"I was five when my mother died." The Alchemist says, clearing his throat against the cold. "That you do." He agrees. Survival had been the goal of Remi's formative years. Surviving his father had been the hardest part of it. The world as it was, or at least the majority of the whores Remi was raised by, were shockingly kind people.

"Is living still surviving, for you?"

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

”I’m sorry to hear that,” Finn says, his voice as soft and earnest as the Alchemist’s had been. Ironic, that he can offer the same sort of apology that he had just completely misunderstood. But that’s Finn all over; knowing enough social convention to be able to navigate the world, and yet tripping and falling over nuance at every available opportunity.

He doesn’t expect the follow up question, lifting his gaze from the wet floor to Remi’s face, something startled in his eyes that suggests he has no idea how to answer his question. ”...Yes, I suppose so,” he admits. ”It is easier than it used to be, though. There are times where it even feels like more than surviving.” They don’t come along all that often, though.

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN