and look for the stars as the sun goes down
each breath that you take has a thunderous sound
each breath that you take has a thunderous sound
Awareness fills her dimly, ringing in her ears as oxygen once more begins to permeate her brain. She's on the shore, the rocks pushing deliciously into her skin, the wind screaming beautifully around her ears, the cold ripping tantalizingly into her bones. She can't remember a time in her life when she felt more tired, or more alive. Her nerves are coming back to life, and gods, everything hurts so much. She'd come so close to peaceful nothingness, how--?
Remi.
A wild sort of anger and relief surges through her as the Alchemist's voice pierces through her haze, his hand an anchor to a world she'd thought she'd left behind. Once again she'd been so close to freedom, and once again it was snatched away. And though Amalia wants to live...
...she also wants to die.
Understanding leaves her in a pulse of the Attuned bond, the sudden realization of what he'd been trying to tell her as clear as the one he has in turn. That sometimes it feels like all you can control is your own mortality, like the only way to be safe is to take away the risk. And to have that taken away from you, that final choice---
"I did, too," Amalia confesses, staring ahead from her place in his arms. It's barely a whisper above the crashing waves, almost inaudible as it leaves numb lips. "I do. Every day. I want it to be over, I want it all to stop, I want to feel like I have control-"
She breaks off as the youth appears, the familiar form of Ludo somehow entirely unsurprising. And for a moment the darkness flutters in her breast again as she wonders if maybe she will be taken, if she was fated to breathe her last upon this beach--
But no. It is not death that Amalia belongs to. For better or worse, for now and forever, she has sworn herself to life.
The youth disappears and Amalia exhales the breath she'd been holding, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry I made you feel powerless, Remi. I'm sorry I took away your choice. But I love you so much and I... I couldn't let you go. I can't."
Remi.
A wild sort of anger and relief surges through her as the Alchemist's voice pierces through her haze, his hand an anchor to a world she'd thought she'd left behind. Once again she'd been so close to freedom, and once again it was snatched away. And though Amalia wants to live...
...she also wants to die.
Understanding leaves her in a pulse of the Attuned bond, the sudden realization of what he'd been trying to tell her as clear as the one he has in turn. That sometimes it feels like all you can control is your own mortality, like the only way to be safe is to take away the risk. And to have that taken away from you, that final choice---
"I did, too," Amalia confesses, staring ahead from her place in his arms. It's barely a whisper above the crashing waves, almost inaudible as it leaves numb lips. "I do. Every day. I want it to be over, I want it all to stop, I want to feel like I have control-"
She breaks off as the youth appears, the familiar form of Ludo somehow entirely unsurprising. And for a moment the darkness flutters in her breast again as she wonders if maybe she will be taken, if she was fated to breathe her last upon this beach--
But no. It is not death that Amalia belongs to. For better or worse, for now and forever, she has sworn herself to life.
The youth disappears and Amalia exhales the breath she'd been holding, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry I made you feel powerless, Remi. I'm sorry I took away your choice. But I love you so much and I... I couldn't let you go. I can't."
Amalia
