i wish i could say that i am a light that never goes out
Everything he pushed away, everything he claimed had been charred and ground to dust left to blow through the cockles of his heart like some dusty and dry storm, was back as if it had never gone. Like an evergreen the Alchemist's emotional range is somehow...restored, though perhaps that's painting it with too pretty an image. Really, it's that he's forced to take off his blinders. Even he can't lie to himself anymore.
Trying to open the attuned bond between them as much as is possible so that she won't feel so vulnerable in her emotions, Remi just tightens his wings around her. Not suffocating her, or so he hopes, but holding her.
It was so easy to hate you all after Aoife died. He begins, telling her things he'd only admitted to Ronin. It gave me something to focus my anger on, that wasn't her. Why have friends at all, when friendship can't stop the loss of a child. Especially put here as we were, with no one to console us but each other, it... There is a dry mental laugh as he shakes his head, ...gods it was so easy, Amalia. I think it was the easiest thing I've ever done. There is shame coming from him, of course, but it is made buoyant by his honesty. By this latent admission. I thought if I didn't care anymore, I could never hurt that way again. Maybe if I was truly capable of that it would have worked, but I...I don't think I ever stopped. I just channelled it all into something dark. Recklessness was an easy disguise for being afraid.
Reaching for her again, if only so she'll look at him, his sea-glass stare grows glassy with tears again, but he doesn't bother to brush them away. I think I wanted to die, that night you found Ronin and I. I was tired and dying in his arms... It's a weary, shame-filled, but entirely genuinely sort of smile he gives her. And then after, when you saved me, I did realize I wanted to live, and I hated you for showing me that. Because it was so much easier not to know.
Trying to open the attuned bond between them as much as is possible so that she won't feel so vulnerable in her emotions, Remi just tightens his wings around her. Not suffocating her, or so he hopes, but holding her.
It was so easy to hate you all after Aoife died. He begins, telling her things he'd only admitted to Ronin. It gave me something to focus my anger on, that wasn't her. Why have friends at all, when friendship can't stop the loss of a child. Especially put here as we were, with no one to console us but each other, it... There is a dry mental laugh as he shakes his head, ...gods it was so easy, Amalia. I think it was the easiest thing I've ever done. There is shame coming from him, of course, but it is made buoyant by his honesty. By this latent admission. I thought if I didn't care anymore, I could never hurt that way again. Maybe if I was truly capable of that it would have worked, but I...I don't think I ever stopped. I just channelled it all into something dark. Recklessness was an easy disguise for being afraid.
Reaching for her again, if only so she'll look at him, his sea-glass stare grows glassy with tears again, but he doesn't bother to brush them away. I think I wanted to die, that night you found Ronin and I. I was tired and dying in his arms... It's a weary, shame-filled, but entirely genuinely sort of smile he gives her. And then after, when you saved me, I did realize I wanted to live, and I hated you for showing me that. Because it was so much easier not to know.
but I f l i c k e r
from time to time
REMI
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
