but you painted me golden

i could be anything in the world

"Is there a difference?" Remi wonders. There is some wisdom in the whole fake it until you make it adage. Snapping his own teeth at the fox as a coppery paw swats at his sweater, Remi gives his friend a roguish look. "Keep it up you, and you can see for yourself just which parts of my shift you got right, and which you got wrong."

The way the fox's accent carries the question, Remi is pretty sure he's meant to respond with a rhyme. He can't think of one of course, seeing as he has no idea what the answer is, and so he merely blows into the fox's face in an attempt to be half as annoying as Ianto has been.

"A man who has a breakdown once every few days, by the look of things." Remi says with a smirk. "Had one just last night, in fact."

THE ALCHEMIST

but all i wanted was to be his

i love it when i catch you looking at me

Yeah, a big one. You’re like... a guy trying on masks. Not realising you just have to put them all down and show your face. Ianto considers that for a moment, before snorting as if realising how mushy and flowery it sounded. Might not make it any less true, though. He lets his jaw loll open in a foxy grin at Remi’s threat, as if to tell him he has no idea what he’s talking about... only to yip and try to bury his nose in the Alchemist’s armpit (he does not appreciate the blowing in his face).

Well at least you’re being true to yourself, Breakdown Man, he informs him, giggling to himself. I was gonna go more with someone who can care enough about himself to treat other people with that same care. But yours works too. Peeking up at the other man - but not removing his nose - he flicks an ear. Want to talk about it?

i could be anything in the world

"Says the man currently a fox." The Alchemist points out with a smirk. It's entirely different he knows, but the quip leaves his lips before he can really think about it. "Dunno that I'd want to be there, keen sense of smell that you have." Remi warns as the small black nose inches towards his armpit. It's been a day, and showering has absolutely not been one of Remi's priorities.

"Breakdown man...and here I thought calling myself the Alchemist was a good name. I wonder who I talk to to have that changed..?" Shifting the fox a touch to wrap an arm around him again, Remi just shakes his head. "Well, I was never good at caring about myself. If you saw where I lived in Northaven, you'd know that." Which, the fox has told him previously, he had.

Glancing down at the beady golden eyes, Remi just swallows a touch bashfully. "Well, it was about you, actually." He offers as if dipping a toe into this conversational pool to see how it feels.

THE ALCHEMIST

but all i wanted was to be his

i love it when i catch you looking at me

I was a fox before I was a man, Ianto reminds the Alchemist, a pulse of roguish amusement sent his way. Ianto had been illegally shape-changed as barely a boy; he felt more comfortable like this than on two legs, half the time. Still, Remi’s right about one thing - he does regret sticking his oversensitive nose into the other man’s armpit. Pulling a face, the fox snorts and sneezes, happily adjusted away from the offending armpit and settling wherever Remi puts him.

Relaxing, a hind leg nudges Remi’s other arm as if to remind him that his adorable cuddles do not come free (aka please fuss me), Ianto fixes him with a golden stare. That’s not an excuse anymore y’know, he informs him. It’s been a long ass time since Northaven. You got married, became Governor, apparently started being built like a brick shithouse. You’re good at caring about you. Maybe not so much about your mind, but that’s another story.

Oh but then they’re talking about him, apparently, and Ianto lifts his furry chin, as if to say obviously, just look at me. Of course, that doesn’t match up with what he says. I hope I didn’t cause you problems, coming to stay up here.

i could be anything in the world

Grinning somewhat triumphantly, as if the smelly pit of his sweater is anything he's had active control over, Remi just chuckles to himself as his fingers work their way back into the fox's fur. Already the mud has started to dry and if something isn't done soon, Remi is going to be cutting it out of his friend later. "I am, I am." He grunts at the reminder, hastily resuming the attention with both hands.

Rolling his eyes at the commentary about his physique, Remi doesn't bother to argue. Marrying Ronin was the best decision of his life; becoming governor, less so.

"No, not at all. If anything..." Looking down into golden eyes, Remi runs his hand over the top of Ianto's head, flattening down his ears with the hope of seeing them spring up again. "..it helped. Or at least, it made me face something I hadn't quite worked out for myself. But I have now." Again, he wasn't at all sure whether or not Ianto needed (or would want) to know the details of the line he'd drawn for himself. It was...an incredibly awkward thing for one man to tell another, he was sure.

THE ALCHEMIST

but all i wanted was to be his

i love it when i catch you looking at me

A shrill, happy little noise leaves Ianto’s throat (because what the fuck does the fox say for real) as Remi resumes his fuss, though he is just as wriggly as before given that he’s also noticed that the mud is starting to dry. He sees a future under a shower somehow, and it does not thrill him all that much. Nudging his head into Remi’s hand, obviously the ears perk back up again as soon as they’re flattened down, like tiny copper points dipped in black ink.

Once upon a time Ianto would have both needed and wanted to know anything that Remi cared to tell him. Now, though? He was just pleased to see his friend at ease, and he pushes his nose into the Alchemist’s hand as if to make that very clear. I’m glad, he says honestly. Hopefully you can’t have the same breakdown twice, and it means you feel better about that thing for good.

i could be anything in the world

"I hope so." Remi agrees, his palms smoothing down the fox cheeks before pulling back, stretching the skin and making the fox look absolutely absurd. Cracking a smile which turns into a boyish laugh, he merely shakes his head as he offers his friend a crooked smile. "I...I'm sure you know, but it's easier for me when you're like this. And...well, I appreciate it." The words are awkward and clumsily said, but still entirely genuine. "I want you as my friend again. I've missed you, and the me that I am with you." He admits, looking down as if slightly embarassed by this admission.

He has no reason to be, not with Ianto but...well, it's like what he told Ronin: caring about others only invites pain. He's lost Ianto twice now, and he isn't so sure he could do it again. "But hey, if you do want to help, figure out a story that'll make me cry. And not happy tears, mind you. At least, I'm fairly sure they can't be happy tears."

THE ALCHEMIST

but all i wanted was to be his

i love it when i catch you looking at me

Ianto’s expression is confused at first, before the hands smooth down his furry cheeks and stretch them back, giving him a truly ridiculous toothy grin. Still, Ianto is caught in the laughter as well, paws coming up to try and hide his face from any further manipulation (he gives Remi a gentle kick for his trouble, as well. You are lucky I like you, he chuckles, relaxing back in his arms.

The admission is unexpected but... not, somehow, Ianto nosing into the fabric of Remi’s sweater. I’ve missed you too. And it’s... easier for me, as well, he admits. I know you don’t remember it, but a lot of my favourite times with you was when I was a fox. So... it’s a good kind of nostalgia. He sighs contently, golden eyes slipping shut for a moment.

Still, a story that will make him cry? Uh... Great start, oh mighty storyteller. I don’t... well. Don’t know if it’ll make you cry, but it’s worth saying anyway. You know when you got blinded, and I... I didn’t... I wasn’t there? He has no doubt that Remi remembers. Arduinna wouldn’t let me go to you. Touch you, talk to you, help you. But I was there, Remi. You couldn’t see me but I was there in the woods with you, until Amalia and the other one found you.

i could be anything in the world

"That I am." He says sweetly in response to his friend's sass, cuddling him all the closer despite his kicks. "Well, I'm glad. I'll...try not to be too..me about it, when you are human. Though I think it'll get easier over time." It was already easier, he thought. Before Ianto hadn't actually been off-limits. He'd been a bright temptation in Remi's mind. Now though, with a line he'd not let himself even contemplate, Remi thought perhaps seeing those mischievous blue eyes wouldn't do his heart in quite so quickly anymore. 'You can be very handsy though. You'll have to watch that, with me." Remi murmured awkwardly, clearing his throat slightly. He wasn't perfect, after all.

"You..." Remi blinks down at the fox, shocked by this latent plot-twist. It certainly wasn't the sort of story he'd been expecting. Exhaling hard enough that his cheeks puffed out for a moment, Remi releases one hand from where it's tangled in the fox so that he can run it through his curls. "I had no idea." He whispers softly. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

THE ALCHEMIST

but all i wanted was to be his

i love it when i catch you looking at me

I thought the point of all of this was that you were meant to be you all the time, Ianto says, golden eyes gleaming mischievously up at the Alchemist, though he dipped his furry head in a nod. And if he’d had a hand to put over his heart, he’d have done it - hopefully the sentiment can carry properly through the Attuned bond. Noted. I will keep my hands to myself when it concerns you, unless you’re carrying food. Sorry Remi, I can’t perform miracles.

The nature of the conversation suddenly seems much less jovial, and for the first time since they started talking, Ianto does sort of wish he had more expressions available. As it is, the guilt and shame flow freely through their mental link, and he shakes his head. I wasn’t allowed, he says, and if he’d had hands they’d be reaching for a collar that isn’t there anymore. Watching you struggle was a punishment for me.

i could be anything in the world

"Baby-steps." Remi says with a smirk, jostling the fox in his arms. Hearing the fox's conditions, the Alchemist's smirk widens as he shakes his head. "Only you would make my request conditional on food and not, oh I don't know, maybe saving my life." Then to cut Ianto off, Remi merely snorted. "I know, I know. Coward and all that."

A shiver trickled down Remi's spine, and he found himself pulling him his knees and tucking the heels of his feet onto the edge of his seat. It pressed Ianto further against him, and against the wind (which wasn't the source of his sudden shivering, he well knew), great tawny wings spread reached around like some strange blanket-fort made of feathers.

"I'm so sorry." Remi whispers. "I really thought I was strong enough to break that stupid collar." Ianto might not have the hands for it, but Remi does: his fingers work at the scruff of the fox's neck where there is no longer any bond. But he's thorough in his ghostly ministrations just the same as if merely mentioning it might make it come back to life. "I just wanted you to be free so badly...and I made everything so much worse." His thumbs slip over the fox's eyes, massaging circles just in front of his ears.

THE ALCHEMIST

but all i wanted was to be his

i love it when i catch you looking at me

Coward aside, I sincerely doubt that you would ever be in a position where I needed to save your life, rather than the other way around, Ianto points out, only to let out a squeaky sort of whine as Remi suddenly gathers him closer. The fox wiggles enough to get comfortable, head lolling back to watch the huge span of wings stretch around them, thoroughly dispelling his impression of a manticore in the process.

Still, all that disappears as Remi starts to speak again and the fingers come to work through the scruff on his neck, and his good natured grumbling thrums up in his throat. It’s okay - I thought you were, too, he says, nuzzling his furry face into the Alchemist’s fingers. It’s not worse now though. You can see again, and I’m free. I’m just sorry it had to be the way it was.

i could be anything in the world

"Well, you never know." Remi chuckles. And indeed, with all he got up to these days coupled with the trouble he and Ianto always managed to find, it wasn't the most improbable thing.

Smiling sadly, Remi remembers the thrill he'd felt when the leather had come undone. For one shining moment it had all seemed so simple, his friend so easily freed...but then of course, the world had gone dark as Arduinna clawed his vision away from him. "Me too." Remi whispers, biting at the inside of his lip. He was sorry for a lot of things when it came to Ianto. Forgetting him, tightening the noose he wore when it came to Arduinna, not loving him fast or hard enough to have stayed...and gods, the distance that had cropped up between them. The fox was here in his arms now, but there was likely still work to be done to repair what had been broken. They'd built the bridge, but there were still boards missing, of that he was sure.

THE ALCHEMIST

but all i wanted was to be his

i love it when i catch you looking at me

Hey... c’mon, this isn’t supposed to be a sad time. You rescued me from a monsoon, didn’t you? Ianto noses at Remi’s hand, playfully nipping at his fingers without actually biting down.

I’ll keep thinking of that story to make you cry, but for now I think I’d prefer to clean my fur and find a nice fire to lay down in front of. Gazing up at Remi with a foxy sort of grin on his face, Ianto’s implications are clear: will you provide the cleaning and the fire please.

He shifts to try and sit up in the Alchemist’s lap now, careful not to stand on any sensitive bits of his friend as he rights himself. Tucking his head under Remi’s chin, Ianto merely leans there for a moment, relishing the warmth and the familiar scents, eyes slipping shut.