falling up a mountain

i'm a boat in the ocean, & my sails are broken

"I was dark once." The word ripple out across time, Finn's lips saying them in a cadence that warbles against Remi's: he'll say the words too. Is saying them. Has said them. "And this is how I became clean." How I become clean. "It will hurt. It always does. I have to give your soul back."

It isn't an offer.

Can a soul be quantified? Will anyone notice if Remi keeps just a piece of it for himself? A sliver, just to block up the hole which has opened on the backside of one of his ribs? It's just there, where his heart pounds. He can feel it like a thorn. It yawns wide when he is around Finn, demanding to be satiated. Demanding to be filled, but it never knows with what.

But now he knows. It needs Finn.
It needs all of him. And in
place of that, a piece
of his
soul

"Will I open you, or will you open me?"

THE LULLABY

give me an oar 'cause you're the shore that I've been trying to reach

FINN

He’s nodding, eager, wondering why Finn keeps talking about it and why they aren’t just throwing themselves into the sky, splintering into millions of shards that will come back together, one day. They would become two clean parts of the same soul, sharing, and it will be perfect. ”Please,” he whispers, nearly laughing with it.

Then Remi asks the question and Finn swallows. His throat is dry enough that it might slash itself on the air, blood lubricating his voice. ”We go together,” he decides. Because they are already together. They are always together, they’ve just never realised it. So he reaches out, hands seeking great, feathery wings, and gives himself the push he’s always needed.

listen to silence. it has so much to say

Code taken from Sky who is utter perfection

i'm a boat in the ocean, & my sails are broken

The word slices open the tendons in Remi's ankles that allow him to stand, so mournful and broken is the sound of it. But it's alright, for it has also untethered his soul, scattering into his belly a lightness he's never felt before. It rises up until it bumps against the top of his skull, lowering slightly only to leave his lips as laughter.

Finally, he is free. But Finn is not. Not yet.

Hands punctuated with claws reach out. His skin parts like lavender woodsmoke. The offending rib is grabbed and broken; a wishbone snapped with a sound that is small and resplendent. "You won't need it anymore, anyway." Remi says, though he keeps it just the same. Will treasure it, for always. All of Finn's flaws are beautiful and the Lullaby is pleased to have this one.

To have all of them.

Already they're falling backward, their bodies rising upward over the mountain. Black waters stretch below as gravity tugs their curls and arms. Drops of blood bead around their feet and in matching dimples. "It will hurt." Remi repeats into the wake left by Finn's eyelashes as the day begins to run in reverse. Thrusting his hand deep into the wound he'd created, his fingers close around the Spyglass's heart.

THE LULLABY

give me an oar 'cause you're the shore that I've been trying to reach

FINN

He’s done it - he’s free - and the grin on his face feels a lot more sinister as he realises the truth of this. He’s gotten rid of himself, that he might fly. But then hands and claws reach out, splintering him, and the laugh that might have left Finn’s lips chokes in his chest, scattering Remi with droplets of stars. A pitched moan rips from his throat, and he’s pulled along for the ride, able to feel it vibrate in him.

”It hurts,” he gurgles, tipping over, tripping and stumbling, with his own hand squeezing around his heart. He bleeds and its so sweet, and they’re both going away together. They’re flying, dreaming of the cosmos and the moon, one soul joined and seamless. Fixed and burning, they fall.

And they fall.

~Remi

listen to silence. it has so much to say

Code taken from Sky who is utter perfection