when we used to sing

you are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world

Were Finn remotely even himself in the moment, October’s concerns about him in that regard might have coaxed a rare laugh from his lips. The closest he has been to anything of that nature was a single, unreciprocated and clumsy kiss from an angel, and she has nothing to worry about when it comes to his genitals. But he’s not himself, and so he focuses instead on the glitter that coats him, on the way she gets rid of the darkness and shadows that have soaked into his skin.

”Okay,” he mumbles, the muscles of his abdomen tightening as she cleans him up, speaking not only of bruising, but of lack of food or water as well. ”I don’t like to swim. I had to do it though Tobi. To get clean. It was important.” He sighs contently at the memory, letting aching eyes close for a moment. ”Mm, the other me. The one with wings, and a star on his chest.” He spreads a dirty hand over the centre of his chest, as if to demonstrate.

Peeling his eyes open as he feels the feather moving away, Finn snatches out a hand to grasp her wrist. ”Don’t,” he whispers, choking on the sudden emotion in his voice. There are clean tear tracks on his cheeks before he knows it, and he shakes his head. ”Please don’t. I tried very hard to get that.” Letting out a shuddering sigh, his strength spent, he slumps back in the bath again. ”Keep it safe, Tobi. Keep it a secret. Don’t tell anyone.” He shakes his head.

and that, I believe

is why you are in so much pain

FINN