Amalia
the shield of safrin
she does not know what it's like
not to have deep emotions
not to have deep emotions
The lack of self-love is a familiar experience (in more ways than one, ayooo), and Amalia finds herself returning his smile with a tired one of her own. Reaching out to place her hand over his, she offers a gentle squeeze. "You should do it more. If there's anyone who deserves it, it's you," she offers sweetly and genuinely, totally oblivious to the innuendo hidden in the exchange.
She's turned away when he speaks again, but her head quickly snaps back around, dark eyes widening, the flush returning to her cheeks. To have him say she could be wanted fills her with both doubt and hope. Amalia married her first love, after all: she has very little experience with flirting, with being made to feel desirable. But if he believes it, if he believes it-
"Would you? I- I mean, I, I know you don't, o-obviously, I just- if things were different, would- not that I want you to- not that wouldn't want you to because you are, y'know, but I- oh, gods, forget I said anything." She's babbling by the end of it, scrambling and tripping over her words, already red as a beet. Utterly embarrassed Amalia drops her elbows to the low counter, back bending and face buried deep into her hands. She remembers hallucinating that the floor tried to swallow her, and oh what she wouldn't give for that to be the case.
She's turned away when he speaks again, but her head quickly snaps back around, dark eyes widening, the flush returning to her cheeks. To have him say she could be wanted fills her with both doubt and hope. Amalia married her first love, after all: she has very little experience with flirting, with being made to feel desirable. But if he believes it, if he believes it-
"Would you? I- I mean, I, I know you don't, o-obviously, I just- if things were different, would- not that I want you to- not that wouldn't want you to because you are, y'know, but I- oh, gods, forget I said anything." She's babbling by the end of it, scrambling and tripping over her words, already red as a beet. Utterly embarrassed Amalia drops her elbows to the low counter, back bending and face buried deep into her hands. She remembers hallucinating that the floor tried to swallow her, and oh what she wouldn't give for that to be the case.
even when she feels nothing
she feels it completely
she feels it completely
