Amalia
the shield of safrin
she does not know what it's like
not to have deep emotions
not to have deep emotions
The moments after are terrifying. As the haze of pleasure fades away it leaves space for anxiety to creep in, insidious and biting at her heels. Eyes still closed Amalia breathes deeply, inhaling for a count of three and letting the breath out. She tells herself that this is okay, that when she looks up he'll still be the same. That she hasn't ruined the best friendships she has for a moment of much-needed, carnal release.
His first comment post-coitus leaves her tense, though, because it feels like a dismissal. She knows it shouldn't, yet all she can think is oh gods, he regrets it, this was a mistake. But as his body stays pressed against her and a laugh rumbles against her back the Shield relaxes, finally opening up her eyes to meet his in the steamy mirror. The playful comment means almost as much as the sex because it's him, proof that they're still what they are. "I think it's my turn for a shower," Amalia admits bashfully, her own laugh soft and warm.
Turning around with her eyes downcast, she tucks her hair behind her ear. "Do you mind if I...here? I'll leave after, I just... I'd like to see him. After you, of course. If, if that isn't weird." If he says yes she'll slip into the shower; if not she will not take offence, leaving his room with a kiss on the cheek for him as well as she sleeping patient, and a promise to come back soon.
His first comment post-coitus leaves her tense, though, because it feels like a dismissal. She knows it shouldn't, yet all she can think is oh gods, he regrets it, this was a mistake. But as his body stays pressed against her and a laugh rumbles against her back the Shield relaxes, finally opening up her eyes to meet his in the steamy mirror. The playful comment means almost as much as the sex because it's him, proof that they're still what they are. "I think it's my turn for a shower," Amalia admits bashfully, her own laugh soft and warm.
Turning around with her eyes downcast, she tucks her hair behind her ear. "Do you mind if I...here? I'll leave after, I just... I'd like to see him. After you, of course. If, if that isn't weird." If he says yes she'll slip into the shower; if not she will not take offence, leaving his room with a kiss on the cheek for him as well as she sleeping patient, and a promise to come back soon.
even when she feels nothing
she feels it completely
she feels it completely
