Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
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It all collapses wonderfully around their ears, leaving Ronin biting the inside of his cheek and stepping forward as Mateo's cry hits the air. Luckily it quietens down before he can consider the incredibly dangerous task of trying to take the baby from the Lullaby, and instead Ronin ghosts up behind where Remi sits to gently clasp his shoulders, giving them a squeeze. "That's right - she will have nothing to say about him," he agrees gently, fingers trying to smooth through feathers and fur.
"I have no doubt that she already knows about him - she's a goddess. But as much as Safrin was responsible for Seren coming to be, Mateo is... Ludo's doing, you might say." The words come out hesitantly, as if Ronin doesn't know quite how to phrase it, and he doesn't feel like he's doing it justice. "We're not going away on the work of any god or goddess... we're leaving for us. The big picture can wait."
Remi's eyes blaze a bleak and cold white as the world yawns out of colour and focus around him. All he can feel is the warmth of Mateo against his chest, and gods if he won't do anything to ensure the boy stays precisely where he is. Both in this moment and all those to follow. The Lullaby's rage toward the goddess extends deeper than either the Shield or the Star know, and it's with great effort that Remi is forced to shut them both out of his thoughts lest they go digging into places that they shouldn't.
"No." Remi snarls in response to what his husband offers in response, his teeth growing jagged and sharp even as he presses his lips softly against the top of Mateo's head. "He was our doing." And then, coldly, he adds: "Ours."
Darkly the Lullaby stares at the ground, bouncing the boy softly in his arms. "What hasn't happened when it comes to Safrin? Tattoos shackled on Ronin's wrists? A dream encounter turned entirely sexual that resulted in a child no one asked for? Only to have Seren simply spirited away again when it seemed convenient." His eyes are so white now that not even his pupils show through, and yet still somehow his gaze is just as predatory. The words are coldly said, the alchemist far too riled to be able to worry himself with how it might feel to be on the receiving end of all of this.
i wake up and i go back to sleep
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
It is a strange thing to see the man half-bestial and yet so tender with his babe, like a wild thing might protect its cub. Even as confused as she is Amalia knows not to press further, that she is tempting danger as it is. Dropping her hand back to her lap, the girl pulls her legs beneath her, resisting the urge to tuck them against he chin and simply disappear.
Instead she looks between them once again, searching Ronin's blue eyes for some clarification before snapping back to the Lullaby. As Remi growls out his list of complaints Amalia bites her lip, hard, the accusations against Safrin piling up in dissonance with the Shield's love of the goddess whose name she bears. She could argue against it all easily - Ronin brought back to life, the promise of her protection tattooed on his skin, the gift of a child and her subsequent protection - but the says none of this.
Instead she inhales a shuddering breath, looking down at the blanket clenched between her hands. "Okay," the Shield exhales softly. "Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I didn't realize." She still doesn't fully understand, but she feels like she's made enough of a mess of things for now.
Ronin's attempts to soothe his husband may as well be an umbrella in a hurricane, and the Star steps back and away from Remi to pinch at the bridge of his nose, his free arm braced around his waist almost as if to hug himself. "Yes, ours," he echoes softly, though it's a lot more Remi's from where he's standing right now. The worst part with all of the Lullaby's complaints is that Ronin finds himself caught halfway between his husband and his friend when it comes to his opinion on his Lady of the Stars.
Safrin has knocked him down, but she has also raised him up. He loves her as much as he distrusts her, and his duty to her is not something he can put down for a mere flare in Remi's temper. Ronin lets out a long sigh, shaking his head to Amalia. "It's alright. It's just... a sore subject, that's all. In answer to your question, I haven't told Safrin we are leaving Torchline. It didn't seem like something I needed to tell her about." She has no stake in his being in any particular place, as far as he's aware.
"If Ludo can make something for us to be able to communicate, that would be ideal. Sunjata was asking about it as well - if we would be able to get in touch." The silence that drops off the end of his sentence is an awkward one that Ronin doesn't try to fix, turning instead to continue packing clothes away.
If they only knew the things that Remi does...if only he could tell them, that they might understand. But he can't, and so instead he implodes in on himself. Drawing blood from the inside of his lip and seeing red through the tears which form across his white eyes, the alchemist swallows down some half-formed response and moves to sit with Mateo on the windowsill.
Nodding his head, though whether it's just in acknowledgement of what Ronin has said about Sunjata, or if it's about Remi actually following through and seeking out Ludo is entirely unclear. Stretching out his wings and creating an arch around himself and Mateo, though keeping himself well in view of the others, Remi says nothing through the torrent of emotions he feels. Closed off from the attuned bond as he is from Amalia and Ronin they'll have no idea why, only able to surmise that he's likely just being sulky, petty, jealous, or all three when it comes to Safrin.
i wake up and i go back to sleep
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
The age-old weight of anxiety and doubt settles on her like a comforting blanket, and of if Amalia doesn't want to retreat beneath it, to blot out the light of her mistakes and the anger that they have brought. Ronin's return to silent packing, Remi's strangely strangled bond, and he own isolation on the bed - it all feels like something out of a nightmare, like the bonds she's crafted with the men might splinter and collapse if she dares to move.
Have more faith in people, Lia.
"Will you stay in touch?" She isn't aware of the partial shift, her leopard tail lashing unhappily over the bed before around her legs. She's tucked her knees against her chest, a familiar position the men will recognize. Dark eyes focus on a spot on the bed where the quilt comes together in fraying stitches. "Are you even going to miss us?" Her voice shakes with anger and pain; she clears her throat, steadying, though a waver remains. "You're just.... leaving. And I know- Mort, I know you deserve it, and I'm happy for you, but.... it sucks. You're going to be gone, and Mateo's going to grow up, and... and I'll miss you stupid idiots."
Angrily she wipes her eyes with the heel of her hand, a frustrated huff leaving her throat. She's mad at herself more than them, and tries to communicate that through the Attuned bond - that she's happy for them, wants this for them, but fuck if it doesn't hurt to know their lives are moving on while she remains behind.
Ronin's knuckles have grown white on the shirt he holds, and he has to resist ripping it in two as he looks up at the ceiling and presses his eyes closed. He has Remi sulking on the windowsill and Amalia sulking on the bed, and there's a lot of stuff he doesn't understand between the stuff that's being said. "That's a really shitty question to ask," he snaps at Amalia in the end, glancing over his shoulder to her and raking his fingers back through his hair.
"Obviously we're going to miss you. But I'm sorry Amalia - this isn't about you. You weren't here when we were first dropped in Torchline, you weren't here for the worst parts of our grief. This is a chance to go somewhere because we choose to, for the first time since we got married. Fuck, we didn't even get a honeymoon." Ronin balls up the shirt and stuffs it into the bag, shaking his head.
Looking over his shoulder, his knees supporting Mateo's back, the alchemist frowns deeply at the sudden shift in conversation. Without touching either of them Remi can only guess at the motivations for what is being said (and not said). He has a good deal more insight when it comes to Ronin, and right now his best guesses about Amalia seem to be falling pitifully short.
Is this about what happened between you two? He wants to ask. Never before had Amalia clung to them in this way, but then...this was the first time her marriage had dissolved either. Was it all poor timing, or was it something more? He thought it was. That there was a need on her part that she wasn't attending to. Something that they—or at least Ronin—was a part of now. That Amalia couldn't or wouldn't give it voice, didn't make it any less of a question in the alchemist's mind.
"Why would you think we wouldn't miss you?" Remi wants to know, his tone soft now. "What are you hoping to hear?"
i wake up and i go back to sleep
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
It's a slap in the face but a slap she deserves, to hear Ronin's snapping tone, the curse a lash against her cheek. Biting hard on the inside of her lip, she swallows down a sharp retort, wanting more than ever to vanish into the bed. He'd wanted to know what she had to say, and now she regrets letting it slip out.
But there's no putting the words away now, only moving forward.
She glances between Remi and Ronin, the Lullaby's soft tone almost worse than the Star's. Amalia wears her heart on her sleeve, but in a different way from these men. It's hard for her to express herself well, but now she inhales and tries. "I know- I know it isn't about me. I'm sorry." Despite the fact that they all stand separate, Amalia feels far away. "You have... since I left Deimos, you've been- but I know what, what you are. And what I am in that." And it is a pale thing, compared to what they share.
Valiantly she raises her head, struggling to smile. "I'm happy for you. Really. It's not your fault I'm a lonely... y'know." Divorcee isn't a word she knows, nor ever wants to use. "Tell me more about your plans. I plan to adventure vicariously through you."
It's not such an easy thing, to switch back to happy-go-lucky plans and the bubbling excitement of a journey to come. Not with the mood so soured, not with goodness knows what going on beneath the surface of their words. And not with Remi still silent and seething in the corner of his eye, something that twists painfully in Ronin's chest. So he clears his throat awkwardly and glances back to Amalia, rubbing at his forehead.
"I think maybe we ought to have this conversation another time," he suggests quietly, shaking his head in an apology he can't quite voice under the circumstances. "I hate to ask, Ama, but... I need to speak with Remi, if that's alright. Could we catch up with you later...?"
You have... since I left Deimos, you've been- but I know what, what you are. And what I am in that. "And what is that?" Remi wonders, despite Ronin's efforts to stifle this conversation. Truly, the Lullaby wants to know, for in this moment, he very much has no idea. "What are we, and you in it? But more so Amalia, what is it you want to be in this?" Because gods if there aren't things Amalia is not saying, Remi fall on his knees and devote himself to Safrin forever.
"There aren't going to be many more another times." The Lullaby softly says in the wake of Ronin's words, before directing a soft green stare in Amalia's direction. "With my hands all the way over here, I have no way of knowing. But I think there are things you want, that you aren't saying. The questions you ask...it's as if you're trying to lead us to say the things you want to hear." This isn't said accusatorily, just with the alchemist's normal amount of boyish confusion. "But after everything that's happened, I'd just..." He pauses, with a slight frown. "I'd just rather have it all be out in the open."
i wake up and i go back to sleep
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin's request for her to leave is another punch in the gut, but Amalia nods with something like relief, already uncoiling and readying to rise. It's Remi's request - kind, not accusatory, generally interested - that holds her still, half-risen, swallowing as she looks between the men. "We don't have.... I mean, you know," she manages somewhat desperately, wishing that one of them would save her from the hole she's dug herself.
They won't, of course. But she can dream.
She lets the silence stretch a moment, wondering if maybe she could just stop talking and vanish into dust. It would be a great time for such an ability to manifest, yet as the seconds pass she remains painfully, horribly corporeal. Once again she stares at the bedspread, not sure what to say. When she finally does open her mouth her voice is shaky, hoarse.
"I thought that you might ask me to come." The alto is a tired whisper without a hint of accusation or reproach. It's the confession of a girl, young and inexperienced. "I wouldn't have said yes, but... I wanted it. I wanted to run away with you. To have a place with you. And I guess that part of me thought that after..." she still cannot bring herself to say Ronin and I fucked, "...what happened, and then the cure, and Mateo, and Loren, and everything... I guess I don't know what I am to you. Where I stand. And I didn't want to ask because you both seemed so comfortable and confident but I'm not confident and it's weird and I-"
She breaks off suddenly, her face alight. The alto voice has strengthened as she speaks, though is still holds notes of uncertainty. Finally she rises from the bed, prepared to bolt to the door. "I'm sorry. None of this is- you didn't ask for it. And you're right, it's not about me. I'm being selfish and stupid and I should... I should go."
Ronin has backed up by now to lean against the wall, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose as if to fight off the headache that's starting to build like a storm behind his eyes. He wants to chastise his husband for dragging this out of Amalia - not in general, just in this moment, when he isn't ready to have the conversation either. But at the same time, they need this as much as they need not to do this, and he lets out a shaky sigh as he hears Amalia out.
And he can't respond, even though multiple things form on his tongue. Things like no, we didn't ask for it. Things like this was supposed to be easy, like catching feelings wasn't part of this. "...I don't know what to tell you," he says quietly, feeling as if he's expected to welcome her into the trip (or into more than that). Helplessly, he glances to Remi, as if he might have more to say on the subject.
Remi feels as though he both is part of what's happening here, but also that he isn't. His relationship with Amalia hasn't changed, at least, not quite in the way that hers has with Ronin. Remi's only real tether is that presumably, Amalia thinks the alchemist has some thoughts or other about her and Ronin's intimacy other than, oh, well that's nice then. Which of course he doesn't, though given she can't even bring herself to say the words, he isn't entirely surprised that she can't wrap her mind around him being alright with it.
So if anything this feels to him like a Ronin and Amalia complexity that he's just caught between, trying to untangle all the things not being said on both sides.
'Leaving was my idea. I'm the one who needed time away from everything.' Remi explains, meeting Ronin's gaze and wishing that he trusted himself enough to open the bond between them to pulse affection toward the Star. But with his fury toward Safrin so close to the surface, he dared not. And so he merely offered his husband a crooked smile instead. "And like I said before...Just because you view sex differently than we do, doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel the things you do. If it wasn't just so easily moved on from for you, you're allowed to say so."
Rising, Remi offers the huntsman the now-sleeping Mateo, that he might turn toward the Shield with one metaphorical (and almost literal) foot out the door. Extending a hand softly in her direction, his offer is hopefully clear: I can feel it, if you can't say it. Words were hard, but emotions...well. They were hard too, but at least this way she didn't need to try and give them words.
"And if you trust me, I know how we can keep in touch with you."
i wake up and i go back to sleep
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
