[seasonal event] my ghost

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you Phoebe listened quietly as Rexanna spoke, taking in her words like sage advice. She was older, with more experience certainly than herself – or at least with more knowledge than she. She frowned a little as she considered what she said first. ”That’s just it…I don’t think anyone has ever just…’struck my fancy’. I’ve seen men I think are attractive but…I don’t think I have ever just felt…sexually attracted to a man just because. So…I don’t know maybe my head doesn’t work right but I think I need a bit more than just a strike of fancy to even want to have benefits.” she explained, her cheeks turning red to say it. Why was she telling her this? Perhaps she seemed safe. She did remind her of her sisters in a way after all. ”I do know relationships can be hard though…you don’t work in my profession and not see both the best and worst of what a marriage can be like.” Women fretting about keeping their husbands satisfied rather than healing their bodies in fear they would stray. Women coming in with bruises and sorry excuses. Phoebe knew they weren’t all sunshine and roses. She sighed and nodded. ”That is what others have told me. But its hard…I just…want to be wanted. I want to have someone I can call mine who needs me.” she admitted quietly. A man she could care for. Children she could raise. It wasn’t really her fault that her biological clock was ticking at the speed of light in her brain. And caring for others was just in her nature. Brown eyes glanced up at Rex as she explained the…sort of relationship she was currently in. ”But what if you end up wanting more and they don’t want you back? Won’t that hurt? I…I don’t know if I could handle that sort of openness. Maybe I’m just selfish.” she said with a sigh. Phoebe paused and picked some edible plants as they passed them, offering half of what she had picked up to Rex. Phoebe bit her lip as Rexanna threw her own advice back in her face. Would it really count if it was just to appease Frey? Would it really be affection and passion if it was only for a quest? ”I…suppose in some ways no. Part of me thinks Frey gave me this task so I would put myself out there and find what I want rather than waiting for someone to find me. I’m just no good at it I think.”