no emotion that's worth having

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — It felt better to see Zeph taking him seriously, though Sam still had to speak around a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes, knowing what he would have to admit to. This could very well be the end of his relationship with Zeph, someone who had meant a lot to him in a short time; he wasn't ready to lose more, but he couldn't lie either. "I was sick...and when I was sick, I was just constantly so thirsty." It had been awful. Constant dryness and feeling almost unable to speak, weak and needy for blood every second of the day, the impulses he usually tried to supress in the forefront of his mind. "I was on the beach and there was this man...um...J..James?" Everything from that time was such a blur it was hard to keep it all straight - he glanced at Zeph to look for any recognition, then cast his eyes to the floor for the rest of it. "He offered for me to drink from him. Um, because of the...well, what it does to people. So I did, but..." His hands came up to push into his hair, pulling a little, just enough so he could feel the pressure on his scalp. "I didn't...I didn't know how to stop. It was just...it was the only good thing I'd had in months, but it felt like years, and nothing felt real, and...and he..." Sam shook his head and his hands went to wrap around himself. He was sure Zeph could figure out the rest. "I don't know if Sunjata knows. Amalia saw me." — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.