the system only dreams in total darkness

if through some miracle, you are granted the chance to see him again

whether in this life or the next

He traces her face and she leans into the touch, perhaps a bit too much — trying to feel the pressure and touch like she used to, knowing that she can’t. Her question is answered in a way that soothes her worry, that smooths out the lines in her brow. She relaxes, squishes herself into the pillow and Chulane, and is quite content with everything that’s occurred. Her hands run along him now instead, dancing along his sides and his back, a soft smirk given his way. “I guess I can do that.” She murmurs playfully, giving him the idea that she doesn’t want to, even if it’s all a joke.

But his question gives her pause, gives her a lot to think about. “It’s different.” In every way, unsure how to go about detailing what parts he wished to know. So her gaze flicks to his face, darting forward to peck a kiss on his cheek and then his lips. “What do you want to know first?” She asks, settling for wrapping her arms around his neck, to dance her fingertips along his spine.

you are, and always shall be, his

KIADA

the moon is on my side - i have no reason to run

Strong hands return the pressure she wants, also hoping that she might feel them, feel him. For all the Voice’s abilities, that her creations lacked many fundamental senses was surely something of an oversight – he was unaware if such things could be remedied, unaware of what ‘patches’ or ‘modifications’ could be made. He needed to know more, to ask questions, as he always did – with her, if she wanted such things. They were in this together.

He groans softly, appreciatively at her touch in return, a slanted grin given in response to her reluctant agreeance to the soft ‘terms’ of her biting him. Of course, depending on the circumstances and situations they found themselves in, if a bite was needed in a less private place, he would readily allow it.

He’d not yet thought of how he felt if she ever needed to bite from another. It was a thought, a discussion, for another time.

Different, she said, and he could not help but agree with a small nod. Then he was thoughtful, as she asked for a specification, an identification of what he wanted to know first – and what did he want to know first? He gave it due consideration, battling to focus his thoughts on this and not on the way her hands knew just how to distract him. “Well, like now – can you feel my shift? Is it like before-“ -you died- “-within you?”

so will someone come and carry me home tonight?

CHULANE

if through some miracle, you are granted the chance to see him again

whether in this life or the next

It works for the most part, pressure dancing along her face in ways she pretends are the soft feel of his hands caressing her. And she melts with it, mentally more than anything, a soft warmth covering her mind and her thoughts until she’s reluctantly agreeing to his terms of the bite. She, too, doesn’t think of what it might be like to need to bite from someone else – hasn’t thought that far in the future. For now, she’s just glad to be alive and to get this second chance. She hopes she won’t be put in a position of necessity of life and death again to where she’d have to make that choice.

Not so soon, anyway.

For now, their conversation drifts into territory that has her uncertain what he wants to hear, how to arrange her thoughts in a way that would make sense. So she leaves it open, letting the silence overtake them as he thinks, as her hands stroke up and down his spine in idle circles, as she simply relishes in his  iceberg gaze and sleep tousled hair, the stronger body above hers that she doesn’t remember prior to coming back to life.

His question does give her a bit of pause as well, as she tries to feel for them as she had her shifts. A small smile crosses her face as she shakes her head ‘no’. “No… It feels like… There’s a bucket in me full of everything that’s in you.” She pauses as she realizes it doesn’t make sense. “Something that I can stick my hand into and pick from.” A choice rather than a feeling. But she nestles in to press a kiss against his jaw again. “I can feel the moose.” She hums with a quiet huff of a laugh.

you are, and always shall be, his

KIADA

the moon is on my side - i have no reason to run

They would be learning these new ‘features’ for some time to come, he expected. Not everything was going to be easy, but Chuy had confidence – they maintained their rule of open communication, of including each other in each other’s lives, of facing the challenges and changes head on, and working through them together, where they could. He missed things – usually he would be able to feel her across the bond now, her passion, her excitement, but it was utterly silent, and he missed it.

But he still loved her. And still held her in his arms. And felt her hands roam down his back, threatening to stir various fresh reactions from him.

He missed aspects of her past self, but gods, he’d see them gone for good to be able to hold what was her core, her soul back within his reach. He diverts the kiss she means to press upon his jaw to his lips proper, leaning happily down into it, letting his hand roam down her figure, to explore her curves, the new feel of her, applying his touch in as much pressure as she encouraged him too, that she might get something from it too.

“A bucket full of moose, huh?” he quipped with a chuckle as he caught his breath again, evidently never learning from previous experience that to kiss an ascended one was passionately in love with, was to literally have your breath taken away every time. “You’ll make a very pretty moose,” murmuring tones assured her, before he fell silent and concentrated.

Every since discovering his horned shift, he’d experimented with how he could partial shift the great spread of antlers into place without breaking his neck. He succeeded, though it was not without great effort – it wouldn’t last long, because the weight of them were simply too great, but long enough that he could show them off to her for a few minutes. They rose broad and tall from his temples, and he tilted his head (very carefully) to enable her to appreciate them. “Though I don’t think females get to enjoy antlers like the boys.”

so will someone come and carry me home tonight?

CHULANE

if through some miracle, you are granted the chance to see him again

whether in this life or the next

It would be a lot of trial and error, as far as Kiada knew. Things to try and disappointment to get over, surprise to get through, and she’s not entirely sure if she’s ready for all of it. At least she isn’t alone, however, Chulane was there to help her get through it all. He was there to help her find out what it was like to live again. She imagines that she’d owe him quite a bit by the end of it all, her mind already coming up with ways to gift him and treat him for the inevitable.

His hands press in pressure along her sides and she nearly purrs with the sensation, shifting here and there to press against his hands more. And she eventually decides on the moose, a curl of her lips as she pulls back to watch his agreement. “A bucket full of moose and birds and cats.” She informs him with a slowly wider growing smirk before a quiet hum of a laugh leaves her, muffled by his kiss that she’s careful not to prolong too long for him.

If she could blush, she would have. Instead, her cheeks shimmer a small amount as she nuzzles her head against him and offers a quiet sigh, arms wrapping tight around his neck. “Thank you.” But they loosen, as he pulls away ever so slightly, large wide horns sprouting from his head that capture her gaze with curiosity and intrigue, her head tilting slightly as both hands abandon their place around his neck to run along the tines of the antlers. “It appears as though you have more than enough for the both of us, hm?”

you are, and always shall be, his

KIADA

the moon is on my side - i have no reason to run

The idea of Kia owing him anything was absurd. How could she ever owe him, when she had made the choice, the sacrifice, to return to him? To come back, knowing full well the changes she would go through, just to see him, hold him, be with him again? He would forever be in her debt for such a sacrifice, and he would do everything in his power to ensure she understood that too.

A bucket it was then, and visuals aside, it helped him understand more the difference – she had shifts, his shifts, and once she tapped into it, that was it; the bucket would be empty. Whereas when he considered the feel of the shifts within him, it was like looking deeper within himself, not a storage vessel so much as an aspect of his self, his soul. Before coming here, he’d never known the sensation, never one to meditate or think too deeply on such metaphysical things (outside of crappy sci-fi and fantasy novels and series, of course).

“Ah- hmm,” he agreed, his tones catching as the odd sensation of her touch on his antlers surprised him. All his other shifts had corresponding parts - hands turned into paws or wings or hooves for example. But antlers, they were unique, different, an aspect completely moose, a true reflection of his soul. And when she touched them… many things were stirred up, deep within him.

“That is a weird feeling,” he tried to explain, tilting his head to encourage her to keep going. “It’s like… it’s hard to explain. It’s almost like the attuned bond, but I can feel you touching…” he fell silent as he simply enjoyed the sensation a few more moments, before he found himself needing to retract them. “They’re heavier than they look,” he said by way of apologetic explanation.

so will someone come and carry me home tonight?

CHULANE

if through some miracle, you are granted the chance to see him again

whether in this life or the next

He begins to understand, but she distracts him with the gentle touch of her fingers along the tines of his antlers. A hitch in his voice that has her pausing, her hand withdrawing, until he seems to try and lean into it and her iceberg gaze dances between his face and the large antlers that sprout from his head. So she obliges, running her fingers along them again, to the bowl like shape, flowing up each tine, watching his face for a reaction out of curiosity.

“Is it?” She asks, tilting her head and withdrawing her hand as they begin to disappear. Her attention focuses back on Chulane’s face again, a soft smile edged on her lips. “They look quite heavy.” She offers him with a quiet laugh before her hands fall around his shoulders again, wrap around his neck and she pulls him in closer to her again to cuddle into his warmth even if she can’t really feel it.

“When did you find it?” This has her curiosity piquing. Her shifts had been a surprise, a shock that she had always found in times of emotional turmoil. When had the moose shown? What had he been doing?

you are, and always shall be, his

KIADA

the moon is on my side - i have no reason to run

It was… a sensation he couldn’t really pinpoint, when her hands ran up and down each tine, touching on places he didn’t know he had nerve endings. But it was as if those nerves were connected to someplace deeper, the same place his shifts resided within him – deep, near his soul, if not a part of his shift, an aspect of it. And so his expression was an unreadable as the sensation was to interpret. All in all, he enjoyed it immensely, feeling for a moment like he was feeling her the way he used to be able to, through the attuned bond.

“It’s incredible, really,” he said as the antlers folded in on themselves, to become wholly a part of him again, his head tilting as he stretched his neck this way and that to loosen up the muscles once more. Then she’s pulling him in closer, and he leans into it, grinning all the while, giving into the nearness without so much as a thought of resistance.

“Longheat. It was a bit like the eagle, only I had a better idea of what I was feeling this time. I felt claustrophobic, like the Citadel walls were too high, too near. So I went out to the Tundra and just let it out.” He bowed his head, knowing he was rambling on, but also knowing that Kia was always the person he could ramble on with. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Auni was quite pleased. He still thinks I’m just imitating him with it.” A soft huff of a laugh rumbles through him at the thought, before he’s refocussing.

“You’ll have to tell me what it’s like to shift again, when you do. What’s different,” he commented, before smirking at her, a brow raised with more deviousness behind it. “What was the bite like for you?”

so will someone come and carry me home tonight?

CHULANE

if through some miracle, you are granted the chance to see him again

whether in this life or the next

He could ramble for as long as he wanted and Kiada would never complain, instead letting his words paint the imagery in her mind. The slight warmth of Longheat in a place as cold as this, the claustrophobia that would come with so many people around, she can understand it all. But she offers a quiet huff of a laugh at the mention of Auni’s thoughts, a pang of loneliness for having lost the luxere as a companion, but happiness within that the young deer had found a bond with Chulane as well.

“I’m sure he’s thrilled.” She comments softly, nestling into him again, listening for those tones of his voice to bring her out of whatever day dream she’s lost herself down again and again. “I’ll let you know.” She agrees, softly, making a mental note to try and recollect what would be different. As for the bite? She pulls back and gives him a playful, quizzical look. “Hm… Well, a lot like how you felt if I’m being honest. Only it stops quite immediately when I’m done.” Instead of having those lingering effects, once the bite ended, that was that.

Somewhat a shame, really, but there wasn’t anything Kiada could do about it.

But she’s shifting them a bit to tuck them back under the blankets and moving so she might rest her head on his chest. “You should sleep a bit more Chuy… Then we can get up and have breakfast and go check on the farm, yes?” This is asked with a raise of her dark brow, peering up at him with a soft smile, hoping that he does what she suggests.

- FIN <3

you are, and always shall be, his

KIADA