Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
It could have been so peaceful. The two of them together finally, gazing at the sea. Maea resisted an impulse to lean against Sunjata like she might have in seasons past, folding her hands in her lap. She had to remember that much time had passed. That things were not as they had been. Silence settled over them, and she let it stretch out unbroken. Savoring the moment. Greedily holding on to the simple pleasure of being next to Sunjata, even though she knew it couldn't last.
He was the one to break the quiet. And the question gave her pause, because it was both easy and difficult to answer. Maea regarded the man beside her for a time, brushing a stray lock of moonbright hair behind an ear.
"You know how I was always sick, as a child?" she began, deciding to give him the extensive answer. He deserved as much. "Stuck in bed for weeks on end, I spent my time dreaming of all the things I wanted to be different. I would be strong and fast, skilled and clever and go on daring adventures beyond the Barrier." An insane dream at the time. No one really believed it would ever break. "Then I grew up. Left those dreams for dead and tried to settle for a more realistic kind of happiness... Until I saw the battle against the Spire Demon. That day I saw real heros fighting the kind of legendary battle I had always thought impossible. I saw someone give up his life to make a dream come true... and be brought back to life by the gods, and given a second chance to live that dream." Maea glanced sideways at Sunjata, unsure if he knew about that story. Had Ronin told him? Had he heard rumors?
"I kept telling you to find a dream for yourself and live it. I guess... that's what I tried to do, too. I did have a dream, albeit vague. And I figured that I should do something for myself, to stop thinking about our problems and do something else. Something a little fun, a little dangerous. Just... jump into it and see how it went. I was stronger, had studied so much and the others who came on that trip were both skilled and capable. I wanted... to prove to myself that I could still do something right. Be useful. Be a 'fucking hero', like the others." Able to land on her feet no matter how many times she tripped. The kind of person who always got back up when kicked to the ground. Of course, Ronin being along har been a particular kind of lure as well. To think, she could go on an adventure with the very person who rekindled that dream of hers!
She gave off a hoarse laugh, ironic and ever so slightly self-depricating. They both knew how that had turned out.
He was the one to break the quiet. And the question gave her pause, because it was both easy and difficult to answer. Maea regarded the man beside her for a time, brushing a stray lock of moonbright hair behind an ear.
"You know how I was always sick, as a child?" she began, deciding to give him the extensive answer. He deserved as much. "Stuck in bed for weeks on end, I spent my time dreaming of all the things I wanted to be different. I would be strong and fast, skilled and clever and go on daring adventures beyond the Barrier." An insane dream at the time. No one really believed it would ever break. "Then I grew up. Left those dreams for dead and tried to settle for a more realistic kind of happiness... Until I saw the battle against the Spire Demon. That day I saw real heros fighting the kind of legendary battle I had always thought impossible. I saw someone give up his life to make a dream come true... and be brought back to life by the gods, and given a second chance to live that dream." Maea glanced sideways at Sunjata, unsure if he knew about that story. Had Ronin told him? Had he heard rumors?
"I kept telling you to find a dream for yourself and live it. I guess... that's what I tried to do, too. I did have a dream, albeit vague. And I figured that I should do something for myself, to stop thinking about our problems and do something else. Something a little fun, a little dangerous. Just... jump into it and see how it went. I was stronger, had studied so much and the others who came on that trip were both skilled and capable. I wanted... to prove to myself that I could still do something right. Be useful. Be a 'fucking hero', like the others." Able to land on her feet no matter how many times she tripped. The kind of person who always got back up when kicked to the ground. Of course, Ronin being along har been a particular kind of lure as well. To think, she could go on an adventure with the very person who rekindled that dream of hers!
She gave off a hoarse laugh, ironic and ever so slightly self-depricating. They both knew how that had turned out.
