Aurelia
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
like I'm close to something real
like I'm close to something real
His obliviousness to her lapse is perhaps what coaxes it out the most, free to dwell and deliberate over herself as Milo is over himself. She's brooding over how she understands the predicament. Not exactly, not in a way that would make this Sam person a kindred spirit of sorts, but... well...
The first time she'd killed someone? That had taken its toll on her. It was still a much different situation, and by all accounts it was legal... it wasn't something she had to run from because of society or law. She didn't understand that part, but she could try... because right now all she wanted to do was run from that part of herself.
There were instincts she had to quell that Milo had no idea about, that most people didn't. Only a select few, and even those... the fact people here knew at all made her uneasy. If she took one single misstep, she might be held accountable for years of mistakes. But... in a way, she knew she deserved that. Part of her wanted that. To pay for what she'd done.
"No-that's not.." for whatever reason, her words peter out. In this moment, just for this moment, she imagines that she can be completely, openly honest with him. That he might forgive her for everything she's done, and take her into his warm embrace so that they might grow.
It's so hauntingly impossible that her eyes water. "It's not that easy," her voice solidifies, forcing her strength to come back, to suffocate the tears. But it comes back as something... a little harsher than strength. "It's not easy to take a life. Losing control isn't an accident... Someone falling into a knife that happens to be in your hand is an accident. I mean.. it seems like he knows what he did was wrong, too." She folds her arms over her chest, inadvertently mirroring Milo's body language, "Your friend... murdered somebody and then ran from the consequences, which is not what you do when you're innocent. How can you be so cool about it? Doesn't it... make you mad? Upset?"
Then, she realizes what she's doing, and she stops. She pushes away from the doorframe to retrieve her glass of wine, to refill it, her back to Milo. She stares down at the liquid as it bubbles and settles. A long breath rolls over her shoulders.
The first time she'd killed someone? That had taken its toll on her. It was still a much different situation, and by all accounts it was legal... it wasn't something she had to run from because of society or law. She didn't understand that part, but she could try... because right now all she wanted to do was run from that part of herself.
There were instincts she had to quell that Milo had no idea about, that most people didn't. Only a select few, and even those... the fact people here knew at all made her uneasy. If she took one single misstep, she might be held accountable for years of mistakes. But... in a way, she knew she deserved that. Part of her wanted that. To pay for what she'd done.
"No-that's not.." for whatever reason, her words peter out. In this moment, just for this moment, she imagines that she can be completely, openly honest with him. That he might forgive her for everything she's done, and take her into his warm embrace so that they might grow.
It's so hauntingly impossible that her eyes water. "It's not that easy," her voice solidifies, forcing her strength to come back, to suffocate the tears. But it comes back as something... a little harsher than strength. "It's not easy to take a life. Losing control isn't an accident... Someone falling into a knife that happens to be in your hand is an accident. I mean.. it seems like he knows what he did was wrong, too." She folds her arms over her chest, inadvertently mirroring Milo's body language, "Your friend... murdered somebody and then ran from the consequences, which is not what you do when you're innocent. How can you be so cool about it? Doesn't it... make you mad? Upset?"
Then, she realizes what she's doing, and she stops. She pushes away from the doorframe to retrieve her glass of wine, to refill it, her back to Milo. She stares down at the liquid as it bubbles and settles. A long breath rolls over her shoulders.
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
somewhere to belong
somewhere to belong
code credits go to Skylark!<3
