Aurelia
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
like I'm close to something real
like I'm close to something real
Aurelia's dead silent when he turns to her. Their eyes meet for a brief moment but, her gaze focuses somewhere on the collar of his shirt because she just can't bring herself to look right at him. His words are heavy and elicit an internal reaction that makes her feel sorry, too. She shifts her weight, taking a fraction of a step closer, but she holds back again. She wants to tell him he won't lose her.
Is that truly a promise she can keep? Especially now, when half of her wants to save him the pain of being involved with her - even though it's already too late for that.
Her eyes wander back up to his face, watching his hand brush through his hair. She can see the stress this is causing, the way it flusters him, the way he doesn't quite know what to say to fix this. But she can see that he's trying, she's grateful for it, and now it's her that doesn't know what to say. When, moments ago, she'd been so ready to barrage through her life story for him. Without bias, to let him judge what there is to.
Until he apologizes, which sends a baffled look across Aurelia's face and blows up whatever line of thought she was having.
"It's not your fault," the words come out firmer than she meant them to. She continues more gently, though, "I'm the one that should be sorry." She pushes away the selfish instinct to cling to the out he's giving her.
Stepping back, she says, "Milo, I was.. I come from a world where magic.. any kind of magic, was strictly forbidden. There was a war- way before my lifetime, and all I knew growing up was that magic was wrong. Destructive, evil. Especially after my father was killed... everyone that used it-" she shakes her head, sucks in a sharp, short breath, looking away with a dark expression, "they all became the person that killed my dad. I was so full of hate and anger and.. emotions I didn't know how to deal with, and half the time," she tilts her head and lifts her shoulders stiffly in a shrug of sorts, "I still feel like I'm barely holding on." She laughs at this, but it's mirthless, and there's tears forming in her eyes.
"And after my mom died, I was all my sisters had left. We were barely making it. I got offered this job... and.. I couldn't afford to say no." She grits her teeth and grimaces, because now all there is left to tell is the hardest part. She meets his gaze in spite of it all, because she has to, even if her voice cracks. "I was hired to kill people that broke the law- people like you- and I- did-" she's trying to hold back because she knows she shouldn't be crying, doesn't deserve to, but, her words come out in sobs that choke, "I- I'm sorry- if I could take it back-" I would.
Is that truly a promise she can keep? Especially now, when half of her wants to save him the pain of being involved with her - even though it's already too late for that.
Her eyes wander back up to his face, watching his hand brush through his hair. She can see the stress this is causing, the way it flusters him, the way he doesn't quite know what to say to fix this. But she can see that he's trying, she's grateful for it, and now it's her that doesn't know what to say. When, moments ago, she'd been so ready to barrage through her life story for him. Without bias, to let him judge what there is to.
Until he apologizes, which sends a baffled look across Aurelia's face and blows up whatever line of thought she was having.
"It's not your fault," the words come out firmer than she meant them to. She continues more gently, though, "I'm the one that should be sorry." She pushes away the selfish instinct to cling to the out he's giving her.
Stepping back, she says, "Milo, I was.. I come from a world where magic.. any kind of magic, was strictly forbidden. There was a war- way before my lifetime, and all I knew growing up was that magic was wrong. Destructive, evil. Especially after my father was killed... everyone that used it-" she shakes her head, sucks in a sharp, short breath, looking away with a dark expression, "they all became the person that killed my dad. I was so full of hate and anger and.. emotions I didn't know how to deal with, and half the time," she tilts her head and lifts her shoulders stiffly in a shrug of sorts, "I still feel like I'm barely holding on." She laughs at this, but it's mirthless, and there's tears forming in her eyes.
"And after my mom died, I was all my sisters had left. We were barely making it. I got offered this job... and.. I couldn't afford to say no." She grits her teeth and grimaces, because now all there is left to tell is the hardest part. She meets his gaze in spite of it all, because she has to, even if her voice cracks. "I was hired to kill people that broke the law- people like you- and I- did-" she's trying to hold back because she knows she shouldn't be crying, doesn't deserve to, but, her words come out in sobs that choke, "I- I'm sorry- if I could take it back-" I would.
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
somewhere to belong
somewhere to belong
code credits go to Skylark!<3
