awareness is the enemy of sanity
I don't believe it, Finn wants to say. He wants to say it, but he can't. Because after all they've done and all they've been through together, for all of Remi's violence, for every boundary that he's crossed... Finn does believe it. He does believe that he'd let the Spyglass cut him to the quick. But he still doesn't understand what he has done to merit being wanted by such a man. There's a heat to his cheeks, hidden by the scarf, and he huffs out a sigh that stirs his curls around his forehead.
"To what end?" he echoes, blinking down at his fingers and finding his eyes stinging all over again. "I no longer know," he confesses. "I used to. It used to be enough, to not be what I was, to be where I was... but I don't know any more." His fists clench and his shoulders stiffen; Finn buries his hands back in his pockets. "I don't... want anyone," he says slowly.
"To what end?" he echoes, blinking down at his fingers and finding his eyes stinging all over again. "I no longer know," he confesses. "I used to. It used to be enough, to not be what I was, to be where I was... but I don't know any more." His fists clench and his shoulders stiffen; Finn buries his hands back in his pockets. "I don't... want anyone," he says slowly.
for once you hear the screaming
it never stops
FINN
