I swear I still believe but I don't know
Stop, Sunjata says, and the words wither and die on his tongue. Ronin's hands clench into fists out of helplessness and guilt - there's no room in him for any frustration and anger after what has happened to his friend. Any battering, verbal or otherwise, is something he deserves. "I know," he whispers through a throat that feels tighter than it should. "But I didn't know he was going to do that, Jata. I didn't think it would go so far."
It's a poor excuse, and Ronin hears himself suddenly, disgusted by the way he's trying to shy away from it, to make it someone else's fault somehow. He had agreed, and he and Remi, tied by blood and heartstrings, had proceeded into this together. "It was a terrible thing to watch, and a worse thing to happen to you," he says eventually. His voice is more level now, but his cheeks are wet.
"And nothing will ever take away from that. It wasn't your fault, though. You didn't deserve it. Whatever you think you've done in your life, Sunjata, you didn't deserve what happened."
It's a poor excuse, and Ronin hears himself suddenly, disgusted by the way he's trying to shy away from it, to make it someone else's fault somehow. He had agreed, and he and Remi, tied by blood and heartstrings, had proceeded into this together. "It was a terrible thing to watch, and a worse thing to happen to you," he says eventually. His voice is more level now, but his cheeks are wet.
"And nothing will ever take away from that. It wasn't your fault, though. You didn't deserve it. Whatever you think you've done in your life, Sunjata, you didn't deserve what happened."
the dark star
