raised on the edge of the devil's backbone

// and if i was the only thing you couldn't bear to lose,
i'd set fire to the wood, just so you wouldn't have to bury me too //

Her retort spears through him, but it doesn’t fracture him further. Instead, it feels as if it only stirs the dust in the wake of his heart, the crumbling bits and pieces that have been left behind and broken. And he doesn’t respond. Doesn’t know how. He keeps his mouth shut, tightly, if only to avoid the worst of the argument start sparking to life again before his eyes. So he tells her of Kiada, he approaches, he tries to smooth over the broken pieces they’ve both fallen apart into.

And she moves closer, at least, into his space and he listens, debating on closing the distance between them but refraining at first. There’s an agreement there, one that settles him and gives him some form of coping and understanding, even as she looks up at him through red ringed eyes, glassy and defeated, breaking his heart to have to do this.

So he closes the distance, wrapping his arms around her and his wings, tucking her in tight against him. “I want you safe, Hotaru. I want to be able to find you when the dust settles. I want to have our family together and safe. That’s all I want.” That’s all he’s ever wanted, isn’t it? Safety, to live and thrive without pain and terrorizing dreams. He isn’t that lucky, of course, not yet anyway. But it’s a dream he continues to have, in a house by the sea, a family that he doesn’t have to worry about being taken from him.

SUNJATA

Honey, these arms that once held you are ready to fight

The silence hurts worse. Her teeth bite down into the soft flesh of the inside of her cheek where it can't be seen, worrying at it until copper blooms against her tongue. Hotaru does not cry over men, even the ones that hold her heart, and she won't start now. There have only ever been two people she has ever entrusted with her tears, with the broken bits and unwanted pieces that collect beneath the smooth, icy exterior.

And one of them is dead now.

She misses Rexanna with a fierceness in that moment that paralyzes her as if she has been hit with an arrow to the breast. It makes it all the easier to lean into Sunjata as he embraces her, to allow herself to be comforted in the moment. Secretly stealing away the smell of his skin, the rustle of his wings, so that it might bolster her in the far reaches of Halo. "You have to let me know if you need me," she whispers, even if it's a false-faced comfort. "If it gets too bad, or if something goes wrong. I'll stay with Deimos, but you have to promise you'll tell me what's happening." Letters, word of mouth, Hotaru doesn't care. She'll go mad in those mountains if she's left with nothing but her imagination to keep her company on the matter. "As soon as the portal opens, I'll go. So he doesn't have a chance to know about me." That, at least, aligns with her original plan. The pain is something she will just have to live with. So long as she can say goodbye to Nate.

HOTARU

// and if i was the only thing you couldn't bear to lose,
i'd set fire to the wood, just so you wouldn't have to bury me too //

She gives in and he does too, arms wrapped around each other, Sunjata leaning down to press his cheek against the top of her head, shutting his eyes tightly in the hopes that it makes it easier for him to try and piece together the fractured bits. Her whisper is easily heard with the earring in his ear, paired with the extra set that dangle and glimmer in the lowlight. “I will.” He vows, letting his hand smooth over her back, soft and gentle, as if it might repair the barbs and wounds they’d impaled on one another.

“I will.” He says again, pulling away just enough to press a kiss to her temple, inhaling the scent of her to let it continue to settle him. “Alright. Take whatever you may need.” He murmurs. Whatever she needed in the home she could have, he’d absolutely have no qualms with it. And the further away she was from here? The better.

He pulls away a bit more now, to be able to look at her and scan her face. He can’t muster a smile, but he tries to let the silence turn easier, less heavy, even if it weighs in the dark bags under his eyes, in the droop of his shoulders. “Thank you.”

SUNJATA

Honey, these arms that once held you are ready to fight

Each gentle motion of his hand is healing, even if there is nothing to truly forgive. Their anger is borne from their love, and that alone tells her that he has nothing to apologize for. Love has hurt her in far deeper ways than raised voices and pointed remarks. It is also a remarkably novel thing, to be loved like glass, both breakable and cherished enough to be locked away from cruel hands. As if her own hands aren't cruel enough. They lift to cling regardless, wrapping around Sunjata's broad back and soaking up the warmth that builds between their bodies and wards away the night air. His kiss against her temple has her leaning up into him, eyes pressed closed against the reluctance that threatens to choke her. Hotaru has only just found her way home and leaving feels like an impossible task.

"I'm sure you'll object to me taking you and Nate in my bag," she attempts to joke, happy to twist his words against him even with the bleakness that surrounds their fate. How many more hours does she have for moments like these? How long will this war against a single man take? A season? More?

As Sunjata pulls away she lifts a hand to cradle his jaw, thumb sweeping slowly over the slight stubble on his skin. Wishes that he did not thank her for something she does not want to do. "Just...try to end it quickly. Tell me if you need anything from me, Godly or otherwise, that I can send on to you. So that I can come home, and we can be a family." Just as he wanted, as they both want, because waiting even longer now seems torturous after having been returned to their sides no more than a handful of days before.

HOTARU

// and if i was the only thing you couldn't bear to lose,
i'd set fire to the wood, just so you wouldn't have to bury me too //

“Unfortunately I don’t think we’d fit.” He tries to offer some humor, but it ends up sounding a bit flat in his mind. It was an attempt, however, and he hopes that she appreciates it regardless. He goes to pull away, to let her wash over all the burs and broken bits and pieces, the dust and pain that lingers within him. But her hand rises to his jaw, his head tilting slightly into it as he peers down at her.

He nods, an agreement and a nuzzling of his cheek into her hand, turning to press a kiss against her palm before a long slow exhale leaves him, cascading over her hand and his arm. “I will.” He agrees again, lips quirking slightly in the edge of a frown that comes across it that he tries to push away. “You’ll come home and gods willing it’ll be quiet.” He assures her, hoping that the more he says it the more truthful it becomes.

But he takes a sharp inhale, wings rustling to pull back and tuck in tight. “Come downstairs with me? I need to eat something.” He offers a small half smile with that. He can’t remember the last time he’d eaten which likely hasn’t helped his mood at all.

SUNJATA

Honey, these arms that once held you are ready to fight

"You have a few days to lose more weight." It's a sad sort of humor and they both know it, but it's better than ruminating over their swiftly impending goodbyes. She lingers over the kiss he places to her palm, the familiar weight of his hands on her spine, soaking in the physical affection that soothes the anger and frustration they'd cultivated.

"Quiet for Caido at least," she murmurs back, a weak tilt of her lips allowing amusement. "You're going to owe me hundreds of date nights, it will be glorious." Their collective speaking of peace into existence may be a stretch, but there's no harm in giving it a good old fashioned try. What better time to start than now? Reluctant as she is to part from him now, she intertwines their fingers and obligingly opens the door back into the house. "I'll make you something, so you don't burn the house down." To feel useful if nothing else.

She takes him down the stairs, sitting him at the counter without allowing him to make any sort of denials, pressing a kiss to his temple now that he is of equal height before turning into the kitchen. "Any requests?" He deserves pampering after sharing with her what he has, and Hotaru regrets that they'd had to fight at all.

HOTARU

// and if i was the only thing you couldn't bear to lose,
i'd set fire to the wood, just so you wouldn't have to bury me too //

Her humor does spark the ghost of a smile to cross his face, hidden by the kiss to her hand until they’re beginning to part. “I imagine I’ll have time to plan the perfect ones. But do tell me if you have any requests.” He offers, unable to keep the edge of the smile from his face, trying to let it light him up from within when it feels like nothing more but a vast wasteland spread into the abyss. Their fingers intertwine and he’s content to follow her into the warm home, to let it overwhelm his senses and replace the exhaustion that weighs heavily there.

“Please do. My track record isn’t great.” He tries to jest again, of the previous home that’s charred remains sat not too far from here. But he lets her guide him, sit him at the counter, keeping him from doing much else. So an arm comes up, elbow resting on the countertop to prop his head onto it to watch her after she’s pressed a kiss to his own temple.

He considers her words, nibbling on his lower lip before it occurs to him. “Something meaty.” He suggests, letting his gaze flicker along her with a hint of a question in his gaze. “Care to make a steak for us to share?” There’s a crooked smile that lingers on his face here, sure that there was some type of steak that they’d stocked before LongNight hit.

SUNJATA

Honey, these arms that once held you are ready to fight

"You'll be the first to know," she assures as she pulls him inside. There's the threat of discovery with letters and the like, but it's still safer than actively living in Torchline, so hopefully Sunjata will not take too much issue with it. For all that Deimos and Kiada will fill the holes in her heart, they cannot also keep her in the know.

A huff of a laugh and a sardonic, playful glare are his only response. While she loves their new house, she misses the old one if only for the memories made there. She will certainly not be allowing that to happen again on her watch. "I'm sure I can do that." Meat is certainly more plentiful here than it is in Halo, might as well get her fill of it now while she can. Pulling out the meat to allow the muscle to relax, she lights a fire with a quick snap of electrified fingers and coats a pan in oil, seasoning it and letting it toast while she considers a side. At the same time she sets the kettle back on, which comes to a boil far sooner and allows her to place a mug of tea in front of Sunjata to give him something to hold and warm up with.

"Actually," she says slowly as an idea flickers to life while she's putting the steak into the pan. "Atlas' healing has improved quite a lot. Maybe he can heal up your wing before we go, so you're in better shape?" While she has faith in Nate's abilities, maybe a helping of the magical is what Sunjata needs for his wing to be functional once more.

HOTARU

// and if i was the only thing you couldn't bear to lose,
i'd set fire to the wood, just so you wouldn't have to bury me too //

Assurances aside, Sunjata follows Hotaru down through the house and down the stairs, guided toward the kitchen where he can sit and attempt something close to relaxing, with gentle playfulness, something so much at odds from the stress of before. He’s glad he’s sitting, otherwise he’d likely be swaying on his feet without all the adrenaline racing through his system from before.

He idly watches her as she prepares the steak and decides on a side, his lips parting to suggest something like potatoes or the like, when she’s putting a cup of tea in front of him, his hands wrapping around the cup to let it warm him up. He sighs contently into the cup, not taking a sip yet, but instead pulling over the container of sugar and a bit of honey he’d stashed away from before.

His gaze flickers up to her at the question, his head tilting as he considers it, before nodding. “It’s healed decently enough so far, perhaps Atlas could make sure it gets mended enough that I’ll be able to fly again.” He agrees softly, managing that soft smile on his face. “I’d like that, Ru.” So he sends Haai, mentally, toward one of the back doors of the home that's large enough to allow an equine in, aiming to guide the unicorn into the home mainly since he's unsure he'd be able to stand.

SUNJATA

Honey, these arms that once held you are ready to fight

A small quirk of a smile steals fondly across her lips as she watches him rummage for honey and sugar. Hotaru prefers her tea plain most of the time, and is happy to tease at any given opportunity, but instead she merely watches from the corner of her eye as she inevitably does decide on potatoes with a bit of asparagus added in. As she sets about cubing and seasoning them, his response drifts over, and she sets the potatoes and vegetables to cooking before wiping her hands and joining him at the counter.

All it takes is a thought down the connection to Atlas, who - never straying far from the house - immediately takes note of Haai and plods along obediently to the back door. "Whatever advantage I can give you is yours, even if it's just a reprieve from pain," she murmurs as she presses another kiss to the crown of his head, trying in vain to get her fill before the sun rises. Hotaru departs only long enough to let Atlas inside, the unicorn already sprouting much taller in the seasons she'd been gone but intelligent enough to move throughout the house unaided. Their communication is entirely silent, but Atlas is quick to understand, wandering over to touch the tip of his horn as close to the wounded part of Sunjata's wing as he can, letting his magic flow through and mend what it can.

He doesn't linger long, giving a snort of warm air before wandering over to the back door once more to escape into the darkness. Hotaru watches him go fondly, amused by his eternally purposeful actions. Only turning back to finish cooking the steak, keeping it slightly more rare and piling potatoes and asparagus all onto one plate to share. Less dishes that way of course. Sitting opposite of Sunjata, she hands him his own utensils, and spears a cube of potato for herself. "Feel any better? If you want to practice flying, now is probably the best time while it's dark." Easier to blend in with the night sky, to hide from prying eyes.

HOTARU

// and if i was the only thing you couldn't bear to lose,
i'd set fire to the wood, just so you wouldn't have to bury me too //

She begins to work on the sides for their meal while he dumps a fair amount of sugar in and some honey – perhaps some comment of his royal upbringing could be noted here in quite the intense sweet tooth, satisfied by expensive spices and luxuries, but he doesn’t state it. Instead, he focuses on stirring it in until it’s dispersed, lifting the cup to take a sip while he waits for Atlas and Haai to return.

The plodding of hooves along the hardwood distracts him a bit, lowering the cup as the unicorn approaches with its horn pointed at the ravaged wing, Sunjata extending it out to ensure that the unicorn could reach every piece of it he needed to. And when the healing begins? It’s like a weight lifted off of his shoulders. He can’t help the sigh that slips through him, feeling the muscle and bone shift and readjust, piecing itself back together in a way that becomes so painless it exhausts him further.

But there’s a hint of excitement therein, turning to brush a gentle hand against Atlas’ side before he departs, a low hum of a thank you given to the companion before he’s turning back toward Hotaru and the tea, extending and tucking in the wing to test it. She approaches with the meal and he takes the utensils, a lighter gleam in his steal gaze. “Thank you, Ru.” He tells her, too, before he’s already diving into the steak. “I’m not sure I want to venture outside just yet… But I can show you the new shift and I can test out the flexing and tucking in, in here?” He suggests, raising a brow her way as he plops a piece of the steak into his mouth.

SUNJATA

Honey, these arms that once held you are ready to fight

Atlas is efficient as always, blowing warm air over Sunjata’s messy locks in some measure of affection and allowing the pat to his flank before summarily departing. Hotaru rolls her eyes at him but obligingly gets up to close the back door behind him. She laments the time missed bonding with him during her sickness, but he is still young. There will be time to learn and foster his personality.

The flex and coil of Sunjata’s wing is mesmerizing, and brings a smile to her face as she notes the increased ease with which it’s done this time. ”You’re welcome,” she says plainly, though she doesn’t feel it necessary. She would do the same and more if it meant easing his aches and pains. This, at least, is something she can steal back from Shaju. A burden of memory she can take from Sunjata’s shoulders.

Ah yes, the new shift. She hasn’t seen it yet, and her lips curl into a delighted smile at the prospect. ”We have plenty of room,” she agrees as she takes her own bite of the steak. Letting him choose how soon he’d like to do so, aware of the exhaustion that saps at him like quicksand.

HOTARU

fire in the ground between my teeth, we're dancing on the poison in their graves
at the end of the night, we'd all seen better days

He continues to down the dinner, attempting to take his time with it, but the moment the food hits his tongue it opens up a ravenous hunger within him that he’s unsure whether or not he can sate it fully. Perhaps it’s the effect of the partial dragon shift that makes it so intense for him. But he manages, glancing up at her as he takes a break to nurse the tea, realizing that as soon as he finishes his meal he likely will drop from the exhaustion anyway.

“Let me… Just do it now while I still can.” He offers her, a hint sheepishly, before he’s pushing up from the table on tired legs – enough food in his stomach to sate it and sit a bit before continuing, hopefully in order to keep his stomach from getting upset. He slips over toward the living room that’s attached, the wide open space offering plenty of room for the Pegasus form to take hold.

And with it, he casts a glance at her briefly, before he’s shifting completely. Dragon wings fold back into himself, his body adjusting and contorting until in his place, a white and blue Pegasus stands, tri colored wings flared and nice looking compared to how they had looked previously. He raises his head, tucking in those wings tight, and plods over to her to press his face into her shoulder.

i know you tried, i know you're cursed, i know your best was still your worst

SUNJATA

Honey, these arms that once held you are ready to fight

In contrast, not only does Hotaru not eat nearly as much with her stature, she doesn’t feel inclined to eat much in the moment with so much still on her mind even if not actively at the forefront of her thoughts. She’s happy to indulge him, to shove more to his side of the plate and watch him eat instead. A very basic, primordial sort of pleasure over providing for a loved one in such a base way warming her bones.

As he stands she does so as well, more out of concern that he might simply topple over sideways, but it at least gets her in the same vicinity regardless. Watching the change is always both intriguing and slightly disturbing, but any words simply leave her as she watches his new form come to be whole in their living room. It’s a figure and coloration that she recognizes. Barely, of course, as it had been in the time directly before Kisamoa, but her job had been to commit to memory all faces she’d ever encountered. It’s a miracle she doesn’t fall on her ass right there as she watches him move about, as natural as you please, while wearing the ghost of another.

His head comes to push into her, and she wraps her arms instinctually around him, hands caressing silky ears and combing through his forelock out of habit. Does she tell him? Surely he doesn’t remember, she thinks, mind a torrent of cascading thoughts. So why burden him with the knowledge that they’d known each other in another life? “Gods,” she whispers instead, overcome and hoping to pass it off as awe. “You're magnificent.” Lest she come off as unappreciative, and hoping to keep him off the scent of her discordant thoughts.

HOTARU