I kept running for a soft place to fall

// so now you've done a little wrong and you need to be forgiven,
by the vicar and the company you keep //

Nate has always been the planner, that much is true. It was Sunjata that often went and fucked up the plans delicately put into place, ending up too interested in throwing himself into things that didn’t necessarily involve him to stick to a plan that’s made. But he’s explaining, he’s glancing at Nate at the mention of the Ascended not recalling that story – one of the ones Sunjata does remember despite his spotty memory, something he’d have to fill the Ascended in on at some point. But his attention is drawn to Hotaru, to the leg that brushes by him, to his hand that reaches up to rest on it to give her some sort of tether.

Nate returns as well, capturing Sunjata’s steel gaze at the idea of blaming themselves – because they were so incredibly good at it, the months after were often spent wondering if they were enough for her, if she’d gotten cold feet, if something terrible had happened. Deimos had informed him that she was alive, but even still. They didn’t know where to find her. Regardless, he tries not to dwell on it – surprisingly the most stable mentally at the moment as Nate’s voice reaches him, as the twitch in his fingers distracts him enough that Sunjata moves to stand again, to reach and wrap around Hotaru’s other side, one arm wrapped around Nate as well. “We don’t blame you.” He confirms, peering down to Hotaru’s glistening bi toned gaze, finding it matched in his husband’s as well.

Hotaru’s voice cracks and sobs wrack through her, enough that Sunjata can also feel the sensation dripping from Nate through the bond, one that has him tightening his arms around the two of them and pulling them in close against his chest, trying to soothe the worries and fears that tremble them both up. He’s surprisingly okay, steady enough for once, despite everything that’s happened. This is good. This is great, actually, and so much has started to fit together in such a way that makes sense that Sunjata can’t dwell on the sorrow. He can’t.

“We love you too, Ru.” He says, confirmation in his voice, no room for any doubt. “We always have.” The tone of his voice is a bit quieter of an admission, but he loosens his arm around Hotaru, sure that Nate can pick up the slack from the Attuned’s own absence, to grab the bowl of food to hand it to Hotaru and give her the space to eat while he tethers himself to Nate and Nate tethers himself to Hotaru. He does, however, reach up to brush her blonde hair back over her shoulder, offering a soft fanged grin. “And you’re home now. That’s all that matters.”

// this is the sin that i will confess to release myself
from consequence and everyone can tell //

SUNJATA

Hotaru

My head's a burial ground of your memory

”Loren?” Confusion and concern alike peek through as she speaks. She hasn’t seen the man in some time, is unaware of the history and tension the man plays not just between Nate and Sunjata, but her own addition as well. But for all she may worry about those left behind, she worries more for the two at her side. Sunjata’s hand is warm and calloused around her ankle, a physical tether so she doesn’t float away into the nothingness once more. That’s what she focuses on instead.

Their forgiveness washes over her like a wave, summer-warm and cleansing. It eases the path of her tears, unclenches a twist in her chest that helps the next breath finally fill her lungs. There will be a time to cry later, to dig her fingers into this temporary crack in her demeanor and open herself to the rawness inside. This is just a temporary setback, a moment of weakness. One she knows won’t leave this room. She’s safe here. She’s finally home.

Their arms collective hold her in their grasp, and she clings back as much as she can now that her own hands are free. Not nearly long enough. Hotaru doubts she’ll stop aching for their closeness any time soon. Still, food is a powerful tool when it comes to convincing her to relinquish her grip on them, the heat of the bowl warming her hands as it’s placed within them. ”I don’t think you’ll be able to get me out of this house for a whole season,” she admits with a tired grin, receding into silence only to tuck into the soup gratefully. It barely lasts at all, empty in what seems to be a blink, but her stomach has shrunken too far living on what Atlas and her own hazy mind could scrounge up to keep her alive. Seconds - thirds, fourths, whatever more delightful food she can beg off Nate - will have to wait.

Standing, she runs her hand over the soft fur of the kitten on Nate’s shoulder before she slides off the counter with a slight wince. ”Stay with me? While I wash up?” One of them, at least. She can’t bear to be alone right now. ”Because I intend to keep you both in bed for the rest of the day.” Her smile feels steadier now, body warmer, bones more solid. As if every moment in their presence draws her back down to earth, embracing her own consciousness once more as the missing pieces slowly fall into place.

there's a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly

It’s not important. It’s a realization that Nate comes to so suddenly, so clearly that it’s a marvel it hasn’t always been in his head. Loren doesn’t matter, the time they’d been espérâtes doesn’t matter. All that matters is they’re reunited, together again. Hotaru and Sunjata both are in his arms, and this time, he has more than enough presence of mind to hold on.

”Of course we’ll stay.” It’s not even a question. Everything else can wait, dishes and cleaning up and whatever little things he busied himself with in between. All of it can wait for Hotaru, to prolong this moment, stretch it out into something endless and gossamer and perfect. Something he can hold onto for a long time, through the hardships looming on the horizon.

Though... he’s still unwilling to let the woman walk, for as long as he can help it she’s going to be in his arms, pressed in against his chest in a one armed squeeze that’s as stable as it is impressive. The other arm is wrapped around Sunjata, tugging him along easily, up the stairs and into their rooms. Their home.

Done~ I’m so sorry it took so long omg

NATE