HENRY
The blades of his shoulders ripple with tension as he pulls back from the rubble to straighten against Aisha's stubborn presence. She pulses something towards him through that attuned bond but he thrusts it back at her, rejection in his forceful wake. In the back of his mind, he might appreciate it, but at the forefront, it's just pissing him off.
He doesn't want her to see this, he doesn't want it to be known. He knows it needs to be, but it's too painful, too fresh, too... close.
"Just go already!" He snarls, swinging his arm to point her in the direction of 'go'. As if she might need an indicator. His jaw hangs open, angry huffs of breath steaming out, but there are swells of tears in his eyes. Pulling back, he wills himself to walk away, to take off in his shift, but his feet remain firmly planted. As if his body remembers the time when he was there for her, during her darkness, to place a hand on her own shoulder. His darkness is threatening to swallow him like an endless void, and deep down, he wants to reach for her help.
"I don't want you to see this, Aisha..." his voice is still stubborn, but it's filled with defeat and honesty now. The edge is lost, the anger fades, and he shakes. "I thought they'd be okay..." He eyes her, brows pressing together, "we've always been okay, every Longnight. There came a point where I started to think... it was more about everyone else. I stopped thinking it was possible... that this was possible," his throat clenches as he swallows everything down, trying to stay strong, trying not to let his tears fall, "but they're gone... and I'll never..." it's a whisper into the cold, empty air.
Never get to see them again, never talk to them again, never see the disappointment in his father's gaze, never see the pride in his mother's, never see the admiration in his brother's. Never deal with the stubborn fucking goats. Never listen to his parents' wisdom, never share it with his younger brother. The opportunities to make his family proud are gone, because they'll never see what he's become. Never again. It's all gone. They're all gone, and in the end... how he feels just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, does it?
He doesn't want her to see this, he doesn't want it to be known. He knows it needs to be, but it's too painful, too fresh, too... close.
"Just go already!" He snarls, swinging his arm to point her in the direction of 'go'. As if she might need an indicator. His jaw hangs open, angry huffs of breath steaming out, but there are swells of tears in his eyes. Pulling back, he wills himself to walk away, to take off in his shift, but his feet remain firmly planted. As if his body remembers the time when he was there for her, during her darkness, to place a hand on her own shoulder. His darkness is threatening to swallow him like an endless void, and deep down, he wants to reach for her help.
"I don't want you to see this, Aisha..." his voice is still stubborn, but it's filled with defeat and honesty now. The edge is lost, the anger fades, and he shakes. "I thought they'd be okay..." He eyes her, brows pressing together, "we've always been okay, every Longnight. There came a point where I started to think... it was more about everyone else. I stopped thinking it was possible... that this was possible," his throat clenches as he swallows everything down, trying to stay strong, trying not to let his tears fall, "but they're gone... and I'll never..." it's a whisper into the cold, empty air.
Never get to see them again, never talk to them again, never see the disappointment in his father's gaze, never see the pride in his mother's, never see the admiration in his brother's. Never deal with the stubborn fucking goats. Never listen to his parents' wisdom, never share it with his younger brother. The opportunities to make his family proud are gone, because they'll never see what he's become. Never again. It's all gone. They're all gone, and in the end... how he feels just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, does it?
wherever you run, you see all you leave behind you
lies inside anyone you open
lies inside anyone you open
