Desperado

remi The higher I climb the farther I fall when I do Queasy, unhappy, and vaguely curious to be sure. Remi couldn't quite tell if her words were a relief, or another dagger in his heart. Part of him felt panicky and shaky at the thought that he might always feel this way about Loren. Not just the love, but the desperate longing, how he missed him every moment throughout the day and how every shade of blue somehow paled in comparison to a hue he could no longer remember with any sort of confidence. As Vai spoke, Remi's mouth dropped open. He definitely would have remembered this part of the story had it been told to him before. That the man died before Vai could set things right made something clench sickly inside of Remi's stomach, if only because somewhere in a dark and unhappy place that Remi tried not to think about, part of him did wish Loren might have died, if only because it would mean the Launceleyn didn't in fact leave him. "Vai I am so sorry." He said gently, knowing that it was a long time ago but still feeling the need to say so. "Did finding Devrum make it any easier?"