// but i'm not good with directions and i hide behind my mouth
i'm a pro at imperfections and i'm best friends with my doubt //
i'm a pro at imperfections and i'm best friends with my doubt //
He is surrounded by hands and faces that he knows deep down are friendly, though he still shies away from them. Even as he leans in, ravenous and desperate. Despite the humiliation of the muzzle, it’s the only thing that’s keeping him from lashing from succumbing to that animalistic hunger.
That, and the focus he has on this fight. On Sunjata. He doesn’t have the energy to flinch, to wince in sympathy with every blow, but he doesn’t look away either. He has to watch it. Has to witness it.
It’s a bad idea, a horrible idea, but Nate steps closer when his husband and bastard father in law embrace. It feels like a betrayal. And then he doesn’t feel anything at all, as both shapes go tumbling over the edge. He can’t believe what he’s seeing. What he saw. He takes another step closer to the edge, his legs crumbling under him and sending him toppling to his knees.
Nate has no idea how long he’s there. It could have been seconds, or it could have been hours. It all feels the same. He doesn’t want to move, even when hands come to him again, trying to help him along, to help him somewhere. Even as hooves click towards him, and he knows he should recognize it, knows some of this should be familiar, but the whole world has changed, in one fell swoop.
That, and the focus he has on this fight. On Sunjata. He doesn’t have the energy to flinch, to wince in sympathy with every blow, but he doesn’t look away either. He has to watch it. Has to witness it.
It’s a bad idea, a horrible idea, but Nate steps closer when his husband and bastard father in law embrace. It feels like a betrayal. And then he doesn’t feel anything at all, as both shapes go tumbling over the edge. He can’t believe what he’s seeing. What he saw. He takes another step closer to the edge, his legs crumbling under him and sending him toppling to his knees.
Nate has no idea how long he’s there. It could have been seconds, or it could have been hours. It all feels the same. He doesn’t want to move, even when hands come to him again, trying to help him along, to help him somewhere. Even as hooves click towards him, and he knows he should recognize it, knows some of this should be familiar, but the whole world has changed, in one fell swoop.
and now that my mind's out, and now i hear it clear and loud
NATE
