you're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling
There have been so many thing since the last handful of days that Nate has been unprepared for. So many things that he hasn’t known how to handle. Once again, he finds himself knocked off his ass by the flood that pours from the Flood. Emotions wash away whatever walls he’d had up, leaving him raw, terrified. And for one, beautiful moment, utterly trusting in Sunjata to hold these parts of him, to keep them safe, to understand them.
It’s not fair. None of this is fair. When do they get ease, when do they get a happy ending? Haven’t they fought hard enough for this already? I love you too. His voice shakes, breaking under the combined force of their emotions. Lips slip away from Sunjata’s head, Nate pressing their foreheads together instead, hrd enough that he can really feel it, under the burning flush of pain arching through him. I love you too. I’m coming back. I promise. He doesn’t want to go, no matter how he needs it. No matter how it’ll be good for them.
Nate doesn’t pull away until the burn in his head starts to make his teeth ache, until it starts to seep through the bond. He doesn’t want to share that, doesn’t want to taint the first bit of warmth and comfort he’s had in... well let’s not think about how long it’s been. Kneeling down in the mud and reaching out halfway for his husband, Nate speaks, his words almost unintelligible with how tight his throat is. ”Lookit me. P... please.”
It’s not fair. None of this is fair. When do they get ease, when do they get a happy ending? Haven’t they fought hard enough for this already? I love you too. His voice shakes, breaking under the combined force of their emotions. Lips slip away from Sunjata’s head, Nate pressing their foreheads together instead, hrd enough that he can really feel it, under the burning flush of pain arching through him. I love you too. I’m coming back. I promise. He doesn’t want to go, no matter how he needs it. No matter how it’ll be good for them.
Nate doesn’t pull away until the burn in his head starts to make his teeth ache, until it starts to seep through the bond. He doesn’t want to share that, doesn’t want to taint the first bit of warmth and comfort he’s had in... well let’s not think about how long it’s been. Kneeling down in the mud and reaching out halfway for his husband, Nate speaks, his words almost unintelligible with how tight his throat is. ”Lookit me. P... please.”
& you're trembling and he reaches over
and touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist
NATE
