you're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling
Nate feels his heart crack and shatter, his arms growing tighter around his husband. He wants to lean in, he wants to soothe away this hurt with a kiss, with simple, easy touch. It's how they helped things before, isn't it? How they cut straight to the bone without words. Words are so easy to get tangled up in, and neither of them have the skill to wrangle them. Dit maak my ook seer. Neither of them were escaping unscathed, but it would be worth it. It had to be. It had to be.
A shaking breath leaves Nate as he fights the urge to shift a single arm and reach up to brush away the tears. Instead, all he does is blink, hard, trying to clear his own gaze so he can commit everything on Sunjata's face to memory. Every scar, every freckle, every little line of stress and pain and worry. Just so he can compare it to when he comes back, just so that relief will be so much sweeter.
”Fuck, I wish I could kiss you.” The words force themselves out of a dry throat, regret threatening to choke Nate. He’s said these words before, meant them just as keenly, but he’s never felt them like this, and that realization alone is enough to bring tears back to his eyes.
A shaking breath leaves Nate as he fights the urge to shift a single arm and reach up to brush away the tears. Instead, all he does is blink, hard, trying to clear his own gaze so he can commit everything on Sunjata's face to memory. Every scar, every freckle, every little line of stress and pain and worry. Just so he can compare it to when he comes back, just so that relief will be so much sweeter.
”Fuck, I wish I could kiss you.” The words force themselves out of a dry throat, regret threatening to choke Nate. He’s said these words before, meant them just as keenly, but he’s never felt them like this, and that realization alone is enough to bring tears back to his eyes.
& you're trembling and he reaches over
and touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist
NATE
