HOTARU
He is a log cracking beneath the eroding might of fire, sending up a spray of rebellious embers as he breaks. A futile display of emotion that will soon be reduced to ash. She can smell it on him, the whittling away, and it burns her throat with empathy. “Okay,” she whispers softly instead, accepting his desire to wrap healing hands around an unfair world and wrestle it into submission. Whether he can doesn’t diminish the fact that he will try. She will not be the one to do so. Instead, with one word, she gives him the smallest bit of trust she can in this scenario. That he will try, if nothing else.
Crack. Another break. Another wound gouged out by flames as he wilts before her. Even knowing how it will burn her, her hands move without conscious direction, rising to cup his downturns face gently in her palms. She can’t bear to not touch him a moment longer. If these are to be the last hours when she is afforded his skin so intimately, she won’t waste them.
Her thumb caresses his tensed jaw, trying to ease the strain there as she wades closer, just enough to banish the distance between them. It hurts, to see him like this. The tears do not come only because Hotaru will not let this become centered around her own feelings. “Oh, my love. You have never really lost me. I have loved you regardless of where my mind was or where my feet took me. My love is not so ephemeral as to disappear when I’m not near.” She cradles his face and tries to resist the urge to rise onto her toes, to kiss away the anguish on his face, to lighten the shadows in eyes that once matched hers. “You can be angry at me. You can even leave me. Both here and forever. You can withhold your forgiveness until our dying days. But I will love you all the same.” If now is to be their final moments, she will say all that has not been given room on her tongue, buried away in her heart where she had felt it was safer.
“I know you love Sunjata. More than I can ever compare. I couldn’t ask you to choose between us before I left, when your mind was still so far from made. You would never want to hurt me by having to say it to my face.” So she had taken the choice from his hands. Put a target on her own back, inspired anger instead of guilt and regret. Turned herself from victim to villain. All for him. Everything for him. “But even if you return to him and leave me, you will not forfeit my love. I may not warm your bed or wear your ring, but parting ways would never kill what I feel for you. Just as I told Sunjata - if ever you need me, I will always come when you call.” Finally, against her will, her own tears bubble and gather at her lashes, distorting her view of him. “I cannot change the way this world hurts us. But I can promise that you will never truly lose me. Not in the way that matters.”
Crack. Another break. Another wound gouged out by flames as he wilts before her. Even knowing how it will burn her, her hands move without conscious direction, rising to cup his downturns face gently in her palms. She can’t bear to not touch him a moment longer. If these are to be the last hours when she is afforded his skin so intimately, she won’t waste them.
Her thumb caresses his tensed jaw, trying to ease the strain there as she wades closer, just enough to banish the distance between them. It hurts, to see him like this. The tears do not come only because Hotaru will not let this become centered around her own feelings. “Oh, my love. You have never really lost me. I have loved you regardless of where my mind was or where my feet took me. My love is not so ephemeral as to disappear when I’m not near.” She cradles his face and tries to resist the urge to rise onto her toes, to kiss away the anguish on his face, to lighten the shadows in eyes that once matched hers. “You can be angry at me. You can even leave me. Both here and forever. You can withhold your forgiveness until our dying days. But I will love you all the same.” If now is to be their final moments, she will say all that has not been given room on her tongue, buried away in her heart where she had felt it was safer.
“I know you love Sunjata. More than I can ever compare. I couldn’t ask you to choose between us before I left, when your mind was still so far from made. You would never want to hurt me by having to say it to my face.” So she had taken the choice from his hands. Put a target on her own back, inspired anger instead of guilt and regret. Turned herself from victim to villain. All for him. Everything for him. “But even if you return to him and leave me, you will not forfeit my love. I may not warm your bed or wear your ring, but parting ways would never kill what I feel for you. Just as I told Sunjata - if ever you need me, I will always come when you call.” Finally, against her will, her own tears bubble and gather at her lashes, distorting her view of him. “I cannot change the way this world hurts us. But I can promise that you will never truly lose me. Not in the way that matters.”
Pull you in, but don't you get too close
Love you now, but not tomorrow
Love you now, but not tomorrow
