NATE
"I don't deserve you Ru." A pitiful moan, as Nate presses in against the abandoned and holds her tightly, trying to keep the both of them from shattering. Maybe if he says it out loud, one of them will believe it, will actually heed it, and it will make this pain all the more bearable. Somehow though, Nate doubts that. What he deserves and what he wants have never been the same thing, and just getting what he deserves has never been enough. "I... I do love you." The hesitation says everything he can't, confirms all her fears and worries.
His one blue eye stays closed because he is a coward, because he knows that the dampness against him is not solely from the hot springs, and Nate has no idea how to face the guilt it will bring. No idea how to deal with the pang of loss in his chest. All the times he's has to do it, and he still doesn't know how to fucking mourn something.
Nate presses their lips together with all the passion and hesitation of that first night they'd met, with all the easy tenderness of a dozen moments they wouldn't have. He kisses Hotaru with a bitter apology on his lips, with pain and regret and all the things he's afraid of losing. Even when he pulls back, long after the point that he knows she'll need to breathe, Nate doesn't go far, lips dragging a path along her cheek, towards a spot low on her jaw, damp from tears. They can both pretend it's the steam though, can't they?
Another kiss presses against her skin, Nate pausing against Hotaru like they can stretch this moment into an eternity.
His one blue eye stays closed because he is a coward, because he knows that the dampness against him is not solely from the hot springs, and Nate has no idea how to face the guilt it will bring. No idea how to deal with the pang of loss in his chest. All the times he's has to do it, and he still doesn't know how to fucking mourn something.
Nate presses their lips together with all the passion and hesitation of that first night they'd met, with all the easy tenderness of a dozen moments they wouldn't have. He kisses Hotaru with a bitter apology on his lips, with pain and regret and all the things he's afraid of losing. Even when he pulls back, long after the point that he knows she'll need to breathe, Nate doesn't go far, lips dragging a path along her cheek, towards a spot low on her jaw, damp from tears. They can both pretend it's the steam though, can't they?
Another kiss presses against her skin, Nate pausing against Hotaru like they can stretch this moment into an eternity.
I am tasting myself
In the mouth of the sun
In the mouth of the sun
