From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
"I hope I never catch you on a bad day," Ronin quips, though his snark is lukewarm at best - he's still too worried about the state of the man trying not to fall down his stairs to give proper banter. And it's with a warmer smile than usual that he shrugs away what they both acknowledge is (and isn't) true between them. "If it helps, consider having to accept my help as revenge for standing me up," he suggests. It's a weird way of looking at it, but it's not entirely wrong.
Stepping into the apartment after Remi and shifting his bag on his shoulder (he's brought enough clothes for a couple of days, but who knows how long the other man will need a helping hand), he's suddenly very aware of the fact that he's cleaned as well. "Fuck, I'm sorry," he mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I only meant to tidy up a little. Time just got away from me, I guess."
A lot's been changin' lately and I can't tell
If it's me or if it's everybody else
It is a weird way of looking at it, but framing it as penance somehow makes the entire thing more bearable. Until the door is opened, of course. "Did you...." There are roses on Remi's cheeks now as he glances worriedly at the other man. "Gesù Cristo, cosa hai trovato?" He wants to know, but whether or not he realizes he hasn't asked this in English is unclear. Hobbling inside, Amadeus (for once), slides off of the sofa and ambles his way over. HIs head conveniently is right at hand height, and it's with the absolute certainty of a dog that he places his skull under Remi's fingers expecting a fuss. None comes, and impatiently the wolfhound huffs something under his breath that's halfway between a yawn and a growl.
'Did you...' Remi repeats again, in the right language. His eyes flash to the dresser, the drawers neatly closed. The freshly made bed with fucking army corners. "...I just asked you to feed my dog." He manages at last, and though the accusation in his voice is weak, it's there just the same.
we're only human but w?'ve got hands and hearts and noses
So stop and sm?ll the fuckin' roses
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
"Uh," Ronin says helpfully, unsure what he's meant to say in response to the Italian that comes warbling from Remi's lips. "I changed the sheets, put away the things that were on the floor and washed some dishes," he mumbles, feeling the need to both reassure and defend himself. "And fed the dog. That was it." Feeling hot all over, he shifts the bag to his opposite shoulder and lingers in the doorway.
"Oh, I got milk as well. The stuff in the fridge was bad." Though he feels as though he probably should have just posted some kibble under the door and ran away at this point. "Your doctor friend messaged about it, that's all. I didn't think you'd want to deal with a mess as soon as you got home."
A lot's been changin' lately and I can't tell
If it's me or if it's everybody else
"I've ODd before." Remi replies tersely, feeling like an absolute asshole but not able to stop himself. "I know it had to be more than just cleaning the sheets." Or, cleaning was putting it mildly if he'd managed to stay in bed the entire time he'd been sick.
Pressing his fingertips against the bridge of his nose, Remi exhales, lets his hand fall, only to press it right back up against his eyes. "Gesù, made cazzo Cristo." He mumbles, breathing fast. "I need to sit down." Properly ashamed and full of the strangest love for Ronin for doing all of this for him that made him sick to his stomach, the musician flops down onto the couch followed quickly by Amadeus.
Say you're sorry, Ama's golden eyes suggest as the dog forces Remi's lap into a pillow. Closing his eyes, quivering with rage that's actually just guilt wrapped up into a more tolerable package, Remi tenses every muscle in his body for as long as he can, until finally he's simply too exhausted. "I'm going to say something really awful, but...can we talk? Like...cut through the bullshit, talk?" He asks, letting his hands drop between his knees (which actually is just the top of Ama's head), to glance at Hallway.
we're only human but w?'ve got hands and hearts and noses
So stop and sm?ll the fuckin' roses
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
That doesn't make it better, Ronin wants to say, his cheeks flushing with a mix of shame and irritation for the once-again-casual nature of Remi saying he'd nearly lost his life. It makes him want to turn away to the door, to leave the musician to his lonely studio and his bad nights and his terrible choices, because Ronin has seen enough death for his taste already. He doesn't though, of course. He merely stands like a dickhead in the open doorway of the apartment while Remi sits himself down.
And says he wants to talk.
"Yeah, alright," he mumbles, reaching out to click the door shut behind him and move to perch on the arm of the loveseat. He doesn't get comfortable and he doesn't let the bag shrug off his shoulder. He's got a feeling he won't be staying for very long at this rate. "Fire away."
A lot's been changin' lately and I can't tell
If it's me or if it's everybody else
Please sit down, I want you to stay is how Remi should have started. Instead, seeing Irish perched like some fucking squatter on the arm of his loveseat as Remi wanted to tackle him to the floor. With one leg anxiously shaking, Remi laces his fingers together and stares down at Ama's unbothered and soon-to-be-sleeping face.
"I'm sorry." It's a shit apology, and not least of all because the words sound entirely forced, which they are. Maybe he'll get brownie points for at least trying, but he doubts it. "I don't...date, and I certainly don't.." He hazards a glance up at Hallway, sounding feeling very tired, and small, and stupid. "..whatever this is." Biting at the inside of his cheek and pulling in a breath, it occurs to Remi that had he managed to keep his mouth shut for just thirty seconds when he'd come in, all of this could have been entirely avoided.
"I...like..you." This too sounds forced, though in an entirely different way. If his apology had been a snarl, this was like a coerced confession by a man already in too much pain to go on any longer. "..and now...you're here after having just said what a fuckoff I was, and..." Beginning to see stars dance over Ama's fur, Remi blinks hard and gives his head a little shake to keep his concentration. "...and you cleaned up my vomit and fuck knows what else here and you're acting like it's nothing, but it isn't." Looking up sharply, Remi wrings his hands together hard enough to make them tremble slightly.
we're only human but w?'ve got hands and hearts and noses
So stop and sm?ll the fuckin' roses
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin hears the apology, but he takes it likely exactly how Remi meant it - with a pinch of salt and very little thought about it afterwards. It's the opposite to how he takes the second remark, because starting The Talk with I don't date pretty much negates anything else that comes after it. It's cool, Ronin gets it. It's a casual thing and he's overstepped the mark. He'll check in on Bandcamp every few hours via text and when he's officially over his whatever-number-this-is overdose, they never have to see each other again. It's fine.
So why the fuck does he follow it up with I like you? Ronin's frown is puzzled and uncertain and directed firmly at the coffee table, and he rubs absently at an old scar on the back of his hand. "Well I don't do that for just anyone," he mumbles. "I like you too, even though I don't really understand you. I lashed out at the hospital because I'd spent all weekend thinking you were a piece of shit who couldn't be bothered to tell me to my face that I was well off the mark. It was wrong of me to do that."
A lot's been changin' lately and I can't tell
If it's me or if it's everybody else
Jesus, for someone who puts his feelings and thoughts into measured rhythms Remi was doing an absolutely shit job of expressing what he meant just now. "You aren't off the mark, because I don't know what the mark is." He says with a tired sigh. "I don't know what this is, or what you want from me. If this was just a casual thing, blowing you off for a weekend would have been a douchebag thing to do for sure. But you coming in here and cleaning? That isn't casual. Not unless you've got some weird cleaning fetish I don't know about." Actually as it would turn out, Ronin's fetish was being a closeted nice-guy.
If Remi entertained the thought of getting up and kissing Hallway (it had worked in the hospital), Ama's grumble from his lap halted that idea. "I don't know what this is. And being around you this much, being with you this much, is literally putting my career on the line." And yet here he was still doing it.
we're only human but w?'ve got hands and hearts and noses
So stop and sm?ll the fuckin' roses
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
"So I can get backstage passes for your show, and climb in through your apartment window from the roof, and keep a spare set of your keys at my work, but we're drawing the line at cleaning...?" Ronin lifts his gaze from the table at last, furrowing his brow and tilting his head at Bandcamp, as if unsure what the mark is either. "Listen, this... doesn't have to be anything. I don't want to make shit awkward for you." With your career or otherwise.
Running a hand back through his dark hair, he inhales deeply and lets it out again. "For the record, though, it's hard for me to get a read on things too, when on the one hand I've got your friend texting me the address for the hospital you're at and saying you'd want to see me, and on the other..." He gestures between them, obviously meaning this. "I shouldn't have touched your apartment. I'm sorry about that. I can head out if you want, give you time to yourself to figure things out."
A lot's been changin' lately and I can't tell
If it's me or if it's everybody else
"I mean...yeah? Everything else is..." Remi rolls his wrist, but his waggling fingers fail to come alive to articulate what he can't. "That stuff doesn't feel the same as having someone come into your home and deal with the worst parts of you." He says in a low voice. "Like you even said, you wouldn't do it for just anyone." Which was sort of the point he was trying to make.
"I know it doesn't have to be anything." You're a real fucking coward, you know that Remi? A real piece of work. Closing his eyes and feeling the first spiderwebs of something dark wanting to sew them closed with chemicals and pills, Remi sets his jaw. "...but...is it?" He manages at last, opening his eyes and shaking off Hallway's apologies. "I'm not upset about the cleaning. I'm upset because..." Remi swallows. "..because it feels like the sort of thing a..." Had his dog's skull always weighed so much? "..a boyfriend would do. And if that's the case, then I owe you a fuckton more apologies and better...everything. And if not, then.."
Here it comes.
"..yeah, I guess maybe you should go."
we're only human but w?'ve got hands and hearts and noses
So stop and sm?ll the fuckin' roses
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Well Remi's got him there. It isn't the same, and even Ronin can admit that much, his blue eyes seeming a little darker against the light as he lets his gaze fall to where Amadeus has his head burrowed into the musician's lap. Rubbing at the scruff along his jawline, Ronin chews at the inside of his cheek to stop the immediate words that want to spill out. Words like I don't invite randoms away for the weekend and I don't get this uptight about fuck buddies ODing themselves into hospital.
Remi beats him to it, luckily, and their awkward dirty laundry is aired for examination. In truth, though, Ronin finds himself relaxing into it. He'd been expecting flat out rejection, so this is... better than that by a lot, honestly. He rises to his feet, but he doesn't leave. On the contrary, he sets the bag down and steps over to sink down onto the couch on Remi's other side. It's a tight squeeze with the wolfhound, but they'll manage.
"Your first apology can come in the form of teaching me how to make that fancy coffee we now both apparently like. Because I've tried it back at my place and it always tastes like shit." He stretches a casual arm around the musician. "Dunno how you're going to juggle a boyfriend and a fiance, by the way. Your management team are going to have a fit."
A lot's been changin' lately and I can't tell
If it's me or if it's everybody else
Ronin rises, and in the space of a handful of milliseconds, Remi's legs fill with ice water and his balls turn to glaciers. He should have kept his mouth shut. Nothing-around with Hallway was better than being nothing with Hallway, and just what the fuck was wrong with him. So it is that it takes a moment for Remi to register Ronin setting down the bag and the few steps it takes to bring him to the couch, and to Remi's side. Parting his lips slightly in shock and wonder both, the musician blinks himself back into the moment as he feels his body relaxing against Ronin.
"Fuck you're smooth." He murmurs, his heart racing. "I'll teach you anything you want." Remi adds through a huff of nervous and elated laughter. Twisting as much as he was able to without upsetting the dog too much he leans up to kiss Hallway, but not before whispering: "I'm a better boyfriend than fuckbuddy. At least I think so. Even if I will probably have a fiance soon." Though his lips have gone crooked with his smile, Remi is still quite able to kiss Hallway with them, slowly and sweetly.
we're only human but w?'ve got hands and hearts and noses
So stop and sm?ll the fuckin' roses
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
"It's that old Irish charm, I'm told," Ronin murmurs, his smile suddenly boyish and quietly pleased, as if he's only just realising what's happened and what it means. "We'll start with teaching me coffee. That'll take me long enough to get right, if your standards are anything to go by." He wants to grin, but his lips are suddenly very occupied, and he's not complaining about it at all. He's already in agreement with Remi - his boyfriend-kisses are better than his fuck buddy-kisses, and when he draws back it's only enough to be able to speak.
"Well your fiance can wait her turn, because I already agreed to stay over," he says, kissing the corner of Remi's mouth while his free hand ghosts across his shoulder and down over his chest, as if finally given permission to check all the places where machines had been monitoring him. "I didn't look at anything, by the way," he murmurs, as if it needs saying. "It really was just cleaning."
A lot's been changin' lately and I can't tell
If it's me or if it's everybody else
Ronin tastes like permission and relief, and though Ama has him more or less pinned in place, Remi does his best to open himself to his new, mio Dio, boyfriend's lips and wandering hands. "I thought about calling you." Remi admits, leaning into Ronin's arm, suddenly very thankful that he'd had a chance to shower before being released from the hospital. "That night. But I didn't want to bother you." He adds with a half-hearted chuckle, before his expression sobers. "I'll call you next time." Or hell, maybe there wouldn't be a next time. Maybe Ronin would just be here.
"Alright. Do you want your coffee lesson now, or in the morning?" Already liking the thought of Ronin staying over (not that he hadn't before, but this was planned), Remi can't help the way his lip twist with a bright and eager sort of joy. "I really wish there wasn't a dog in my lap right now." He murmurs sweetly, leaning his cheek into the crook of Ronin's arm and reaching into his pocket for his phone.
"Food preferences? I hope it goes without saying I have a lot to make up for, so even if you want..." Pausing to swallow comically, Remi continues, "..food from that diner, I'm happy to oblige."
we're only human but w?'ve got hands and hearts and noses
So stop and sm?ll the fuckin' roses
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
