I lost who I was, forgot myself in the hands of someone who didn't know me
I'm slowly undoing their devastation, unfolding the corners
I'm slowly undoing their devastation, unfolding the corners
Fortune is certainly a word for it. The hunt itself had been mostly Remi's work, and the conversation after...well, needless to say Hotaru hadn't made the decision to shovel the pathway entirely without prompting. Needing to chase away the ache inside with a different kind of physical soreness. Head too full, overflowing with thoughts that have no real answer, nothing more than a spiral of conjecture and assumptions. She despises it, hates how they plague her with their half-finished mockeries.
As she speaks, her heart seems to slam against her chest, counting out every second that ticks by. Underscoring Deimos' silence in a damning way. It feels like it's breaking anew - further, if she thought that was somehow possible - and her chest feels tight, like every breath is agony, like there's simply no room for her lungs to expand. Her gloves hide the tremble to her fingers, but there is only the length of her hair to curtain her shattered expression away from him as his silence expounds.
Of course she'd known. So much more than suspected that she was right, and wasn't that the ironic part? She had known all along, and yet had persisted despite it. Was that not the definition of madness? Maybe once she would have called it the definition of love, but Hotaru is beginning to realize she doesn't know what love really means.
Only the sensation of tears - too hot against her windchilled cheeks - seems to jolt her back to life, thrusting her shovel into the snow with a vengeance that hides the shaking of her small frame. Urging her eyes to dry as they stare sightlessly at the loam and ice that she rips free of the cobblestone. When he finally speaks, his words are the only scant warmth to fill the void inside her, and though she tries to cling to his comfort it is hollow in her arms. "I know," she says, but there is no conviction to the words. Only an empty acceptance. She may have made the right choice, but she can't help how she still loves them - and equally hates them, for their ability to move on without her, unchanged and still so happy with each other while she tries to find some sort of purpose out here alone.
They are nearing the end of the pathway, short as it is leading up to her spa, and Hotaru continues her shoveling for nothing if not a distraction from this new agony. "I think...I think I will seek out Frey after we help Remi." A decision. A path to take. Something to give her a way out of this mire.
As she speaks, her heart seems to slam against her chest, counting out every second that ticks by. Underscoring Deimos' silence in a damning way. It feels like it's breaking anew - further, if she thought that was somehow possible - and her chest feels tight, like every breath is agony, like there's simply no room for her lungs to expand. Her gloves hide the tremble to her fingers, but there is only the length of her hair to curtain her shattered expression away from him as his silence expounds.
Of course she'd known. So much more than suspected that she was right, and wasn't that the ironic part? She had known all along, and yet had persisted despite it. Was that not the definition of madness? Maybe once she would have called it the definition of love, but Hotaru is beginning to realize she doesn't know what love really means.
Only the sensation of tears - too hot against her windchilled cheeks - seems to jolt her back to life, thrusting her shovel into the snow with a vengeance that hides the shaking of her small frame. Urging her eyes to dry as they stare sightlessly at the loam and ice that she rips free of the cobblestone. When he finally speaks, his words are the only scant warmth to fill the void inside her, and though she tries to cling to his comfort it is hollow in her arms. "I know," she says, but there is no conviction to the words. Only an empty acceptance. She may have made the right choice, but she can't help how she still loves them - and equally hates them, for their ability to move on without her, unchanged and still so happy with each other while she tries to find some sort of purpose out here alone.
They are nearing the end of the pathway, short as it is leading up to her spa, and Hotaru continues her shoveling for nothing if not a distraction from this new agony. "I think...I think I will seek out Frey after we help Remi." A decision. A path to take. Something to give her a way out of this mire.
and picking up the pieces that were chiseled away
HOTARU
