don't you shy away

VARUS

Honestly, he’s content to be whatever she needs for the night. She’s offered him a bit of shelter, a bit of information regarding Halo, and if he can help distract her and hone her skills more? Well, it seems like it’s a fair trade. He doesn’t know her history, doesn’t know what exactly he’d be distracting her from. And he doesn’t need to. It’s how the game was played, especially when one was Ascended. Perhaps the lightning would come in handy, wouldn’t that be something?

So she suggests a bite as payment and his head straightens out again, regarding her with a bit more seriousness despite the catlike amusement that graces his features, his eyes dancing between the lightning on her fingertips and her face. He considers her for a few moments, long enough that his tongue runs along his teeth, lingering on the sharpened canines. “I’d say that’s quite a fair trade.” He murmurs, shifting so that he’s pushing up off the chair with his one hand, rising to glance around the room for where those spa tables may be, wanting to see what it was she had in mind.

His gaze lands back on her as he offers his one hand to help her up, as any gentleman would do, before he’s flashing her a bright fanged smile. “Lead the way, dear.”

stories without a few let downs are boring when told
perfection and poems are a lie when it all unfolds

I could take all that you love
We could get down fading numb

The time it takes for him to consider her offer is blessedly brief, and Hotaru submits herself to his inquiring stare unflinchingly. Confident there is nothing he will find in her countenance to reveal her grief to him; she is far too skilled an actress for such mistakes. But she knows the bargain she presents is entirely tipped in his favor, and intentionally so. There is no real reason for him to turn her down when she has crafted the trade in such a way as to leave him with all the benefits.

Cal's agreement comes moments later, and Hotaru lets the electricity disperse from her hands with a pleased vixen grin that spreads across her lips. One that falters with surprise when he offers his sole hand, momentarily poleaxed by the gesture as the yawning void inside her aches anew with the kindness shown. Still, she doesn't hesitate to place her hand in his, allowing him to help her to her feet. Gods how she has missed being touched and cared for, and she is glad he can't feel the minute tremors in her fingers as her skin lights up wherever his meets it. Tugging on his hand, she walks sideways towards the tables with a come hither smile, patting her free hand against the surface once it's in reach. "Normally I need skin access, but you can strip to whatever you're comfortable with. I'm sure my magic will work through your clothes." So saying Hotaru steps back to give him room to do so, for once uncertain what to do with herself when she would normally be fetching oils and incense.

Gasoline kiss on my lips
Tell yourself you know it's me

VARUS

He spies the brief faltering of the smile and chalks it up to the fact that people weren’t often as kind as they used to be. He doesn’t read into it, not as she slips her hand into his immediately after and he gives it a light squeeze as he tugs her to her feet, keeping her hand in his as she tugs him wherever she so chooses. And it doesn’t take long for them to get there, not as she’s patting the surface of a bed and he lets her hand go, lets her step back after offering her instruction.

“If you don’t mind scars and stitches, then I don’t mind.” He offers her with a playful smile, already moving to take off his jacket and shirt after, folding them neatly (as a soldier might do) and drapes them in a nicely folded pile off to the side. His body is quite smooth in comparison to Sunjata’s mangled body, but Varus has his own scars to tell a story. A few knicks from a knife, a few puncture wounds from a bite, and the stitching that surrounds the amputation of his arm.

He looks back to the bed for the massage, before he’s moving to climb up on it, to lay on his stomach with his arm folded comfortably under his chin. He takes in a long slow breath that he doesn’t need, head tilting to peer back at her. “Alright, do your worst.” He teases her with a wink.

stories without a few let downs are boring when told
perfection and poems are a lie when it all unfolds

I could take all that you love
We could get down fading numb

She revels in the firm squeeze of his hand, returning it the same way she'd done with Nate, on the firmer side so his pressure sensors can recognize it. This isn't something she'd accounted for in their bargain, but Hotaru greedily accepts it all the same. "Nothing I haven't seen before," she assures, voice a little softer than normal as her eyes slowly thaw. For all she may be using him, he has given her no reason to withhold her kindness. Hotaru props her hip against the bed next to the one he has chosen as he undresses, eyes roaming over his body as it's revealed. It reminds her of Nate's, which is no surprise, though she finds herself lingering on the empty spaces of his arms where ink should be.

As Cal climbs on, Hotaru's held breath escapes her in a laugh as he winks, and she idly pops her knuckles as she approaches. "Now, this is an experiment so you'll have to tell me exactly how the electricity is translated by your sensors. I know pain is not exactly the same for you, but we're looking for more pleasant sensations; tickling, humming, shivering. Okay?" If it begins to verge into territories of discomfort, she'll need to know and adjust either the strength of her magic or where her hands are. Bringing static electricity to her hands, she focuses it onto her palms and strengthens it - no lightning here, just the electricity that gives it life. Then she lowers it to his skin, one hand over the back of each shoulder, and starts to command it from her palms down into his skin to the inorganic parts below.

Gasoline kiss on my lips
Tell yourself you know it's me

VARUS

She assures him that it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before and Varus nods, having nothing to deny that plan with. So he focuses instead on removing his shirt, folding them neatly, and lowering himself onto the massage bed. He settles himself into something that seems comfortable for him, that doesn’t have his sensors whirring in his ear annoyingly, and waits. He doesn’t know what to expect from it, all he knows is that he closes his eyes as she nears, humming an agreement that he’d let her know.

He doesn’t particularly feel her hands as they press against his shoulders. What he does feel is the zipping of electricity that filters into his shoulder blades, the ones that spark his sensors with something – not a warning, but… A suggestion that there’s something happening. And then he feels the brief quivering of his insides with it, enough so that it has him sucking in a breath he doesn’t need. “It’s humming right now.” He breathes to her, relishing in the sensation it brings, finding it surprisingly pleasant.

stories without a few let downs are boring when told
perfection and poems are a lie when it all unfolds

I could take all that you love
We could get down fading numb

For all he cannot feel her, she can. His skin is preternaturally smooth, room temperature and no more. It has the same give as human flesh though, and despite having no reason to linger when her magic is what does the work, Hotaru does so anyway. As starved as she may be for physical contact, most of what she is capable of taking for herself ventures no farther than her palms. Even the cut of his teeth will be perfunctory. Best to prepare for that now lest she rot in her own aching and disappointment.

Cal is at least perfectly clear on the effects of her magic, and a small knot of tension unwinds when she manages to find the right frequency immediately with no harm done. The slight emotion in his voice spurs her on, keeping the frequency the same as she lets her hands drift slowly down his back. “Stronger, weaker, or the same?” Wondering how far he will let her push so she can learn the limits of his systems.

Gasoline kiss on my lips
Tell yourself you know it's me

VARUS

So far so good, honestly. The electricity vibrates through his systems, sparking his sensors in that ‘something’ but not necessarily a warning. So he tries to relax into it, into the sensation that it brings despite having such numbed senses. It works, though, even as she begins to drift those electric hands down and Varus finds himself inhaling a slow breath through his nose – finding that it doesn’t settle him as he had hoped, but that’s fine.

The electricity follows her hands, drifts down his back, and when she reaches the small of his back – only then does his breath hitch a moment. “Weaker.” He offers her, trying to be as helpful as possible, but the strength of the electricity that rebounds around the small of his back and sparks out has his sensors starting to spark up with something going wrong. A weaker, suggestion of sorts, should help there.

stories without a few let downs are boring when told
perfection and poems are a lie when it all unfolds

I could take all that you love
We could get down fading numb

Despite not needing to breathe, hearing his habitual self-soothing helps her focus, relax a little more herself. Even if she can’t hurt him in a way she could as a human, she could still damage him. She knows it, knows the wild extent of her power. It’s a little daunting in fact, the trust he has in her. A literal stranger.

But she is determined to earn it, and so when his voice rumbles in her ears again bidding her to change to intensity, Hotaru does so immediately. Backing off on the strength even as she keeps her palms flat to his skin. “Not many people come in for full body massages, so I won’t do your legs,” she notes, quietly breaking the silence. “Will it be okay if I do this to your neck and arm? I’ll avoid the amputated side, I don’t want to make anything worse there.” She maneuvers back up towards his shoulders, though she doesn’t return to the prior intensity as she nears the base of his neck, waiting for the go ahead.

Gasoline kiss on my lips
Tell yourself you know it's me

VARUS

He imagines that she couldn’t do much worse to him than what he’d endured in the war, and that’s solace enough for the Ascended. Besides, it’s something that he can feel, paired with the pressure of her hands, giving him something to inadvertently focus on that’s not the numb nothingness that he’s so used to. But it’s a bit too intense at his lower back and she’s quick to pull it back, causing him to release a sigh of relief.

But then her hands are moving up along his back again. “Sure.” He offers her, his gaze opening and lifting from where he’s rested his head on his one arm, to glance back up at her to ensure that it’s what she wants. He agrees to her moving up to his neck and when she does move up there, the amount of electricity is perfect and he sags into it. “That’s great.” He hums to her, softly, distracted, focusing on his sensors as they buzz with that nothingness yet something like before.

stories without a few let downs are boring when told
perfection and poems are a lie when it all unfolds

I could take all that you love
We could get down fading numb

Watching the reactions of her clients is always the best part, and though his body can’t feel in the same way his mind remembers human stimulus, and habit alone gives her the body language she needs to read. A preemptive warning of sensitivity before his words can reach her.

With approval obtained, she hesitates only a moment when his bright blue eyes catch hers from where he turns his head up from the bed. It’s not what she had expected, and it’s arresting. Still, it won’t dissuade her from the new territory she’s allowed to explore, and her own contrasting irises watch his face carefully as she lets her hands trace the contours of his neck and the back of his jaw. When that only receives positive feedback, Hotaru lets her hands slide down from neck to shoulder before cresting over his bicep to begin traveling down his arm. Gentling the intensity automatically now whenever she reaches thinner areas such as his elbow and wrist. Just a few moments more. Just a little longer. Then she will have the peace of his bite, and maybe - just maybe - she’ll be able to sleep through the night.

Gasoline kiss on my lips
Tell yourself you know it's me

VARUS

He focuses intensely on the movements she gives – unable to fully feel them by pressure alone, but he does notice the electricity that he clings to as she runs her hands along his neck, over the contours of his jaw, already loosening the clench there. And he only pauses when he moves his arm so that she might be able to run that electricity down it, to his wrist, the intensity of it a perfect amount – noticing just how she loosens it around the thinner parts and applies more where there’s muscle and things are thicker. “That’s perfect.” He hums, content.

And when she’s done, only then does he peer up at her from the bed, flashing a grateful smile as his systems readjust and flicker with the sensors settling within him. “Now, I suppose it’s my turn to hold up the other end of the bargain, yeah?” He asks, pushing himself up so that he’s sitting there. His gaze focuses on her face, wondering where she might request said bite – the ex-Assassin ready for wherever it is she wants it.

stories without a few let downs are boring when told
perfection and poems are a lie when it all unfolds

I could take all that you love
We could get down fading numb

It’s strange seeing muscle shift beneath his skin, to recall that the Ascended are still partly organic. It’s been half a season maybe since she left Nate - or rather that he left her - and already she’s terrified by how much she seems to be forgetting. By the novelty of things that had once been an everyday part of her life.

Drowning in her own sudden panic, she scarcely hears his praise, and her hands fall limply away from his fingertips in a glancing kiss as her electricity fizzles out. Far less controlled than normal, and because of it her hair starts to float in the static around her. That at least is enough to bring her back, grateful for her automatic empty expression that has shielded her from his scrutiny as her hands smooth the strands back down with a soft laugh.

As he sits up, clearly waiting for her to make a choice, she is torn asunder all over again. Her mind rebels at the mere idea of having him near her throat, leaving his own scar where only Nate’s should be. It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. Because he will never give a passing thought to the weight she places on his marks, on the defensiveness she has around them. He will never add any more to her skin. Her next inhale rattles like an iron cage in her chest, and she can feel her facade slipping. Before it can entirely, she thrusts her arm out towards Cal, hating herself for how she still can’t do it anywhere else even knowing it doesn’t fucking matter anymore. “Elbow?” Referencing the soft inner flesh with the pale blue veins easily seen through her skin as her Torchline tan fades away in Halo’s reaches. Picked over the wrist for the way the scabs will pull with every motion of her arm, helping chase away future thoughts with the sting of a different man’s memory, brief and perfunctory that memory may be.

It’s all she can do to keep from shaking apart where she stands, waiting almost painfully for Cal to take it all away with the drugging bite of his teeth.

Gasoline kiss on my lips
Tell yourself you know it's me

VARUS

He sees her falter, but he doesn’t know anything about her. Doesn’t know anything about Nate and her, doesn’t know how the idea of his fangs hurt her in ways that he can’t control. But he can offer the ability to bite, to drown it out, wherever it is she wishes it to be. He isn’t picky, and it’s truly only part of a bargain they’d struck. He doesn’t even know if she wants it to go further than just the bite, but he’ll let her decide.

She chooses the elbow, thrusts her arm toward him before she can tremble and shake out of it, and Varus nods quietly, taking her arm in his one hand before he tries to guide her to sit beside him. “You can sit, might be easier.” He suggests, but whether or not she does sit or doesn’t, it doesn’t stop Varus from checking her quickly to make sure she’s good with whatever decision she makes. And when he’s content?

His lips brush by the inside of her elbow, and with one passing breath to rake across the inside of the sensitive skin there, he bites. Fangs sink into her skin and the sensation that reaches him already has him humming against her skin, tampering down on the rough growl that wants to slip from his throat.

stories without a few let downs are boring when told
perfection and poems are a lie when it all unfolds

I could take all that you love
We could get down fading numb

It is a relief to her that he does not question her nerves, her shakiness. These are things she can never reveal to anyone else, and if he were to ask after her sureness it would only delay that buzzing silence that his bite will bring. Instead he invites her to sit, which she declines with a mute shake of her head, long golden hair swaying. At least there is no trepidation or doubt for him to find in her face, and perhaps that is what inspires him to finally lean in. His cool skin against her own heated flesh is like a shock, and Hotaru can scarcely prevent herself from jolting at being touched after so long. At the promise of his teeth to come.

They descend moments later, and the pain of the initial bite is swept away as if it never existed as the pleasure roars behind it like an inferno sweeping down a narrow hallway. Everything turns to ash in its wake, all her grief and longing and hurt turned to pleasure. His growl is scarcely heard beneath the pounding of her pulse in her ears and the soft whimpering moan that escapes her own throat. Her free hand falls to his shoulder as she is swept beneath the pleasure, thighs pressing together as a fire is stoked in her navel within moments. Finally blissfully free of all the thoughts in her head.

Gasoline kiss on my lips
Tell yourself you know it's me