Saartjie
There wasn't much that Sunjata said, but Saar felt that there was more that he wanted to say and didn't. She could hear it in the slow inhale and the heavy sigh that followed. She wondered if he didn't agree with her method or thought poorly of her for forcing the miscarriage. Or perhaps he was just the fact that she had put herself in a lot of danger by doing what she had. If she had to live through that part of her life again, though, she would still make the same decision.
"I know you probably don't agree with what I did." Her voice was quiet as she spoke and she paused a moment, as if trying to choose her words. "I would do it again." Whether or not he would understand, she wasn't sure. "We did not have a good childhood, not with the father we had and all the expectations he had." The only bright spot had been their mother and even she hadn't been able to shield them from much. "It would have been worse for any children I had. Gaal ... I think he would have been worse than Shaju was to try to impress him. And Shaju as a grandfather..." it sent a shudder through Saartjie's thin frame. "I didn't want my kids to grow up in fear like we did. I wanted my kids to have a father that loved them and would protect them." And that was not something that she could provide or guarantee while in Korofi. "I did what I had to do." It hadn't been easy and she hadn't made the decisions she had lightly.
The gentle squeeze around her shoulders gave her some comfort after talking about something so uncomfortable and personal. "Gazali wasn't too willing at first." One would say she'd had to talk some sense into him, but it was more like she'd had to shout some sense into him. "Shaju had everyone believing you were a double agent and that all of your work with the rebels was just so you could capture Luci and have her executed." One of the benefits of being married to Gaal was being able to eavesdrop on him and Shaju. Being write down what she heard them talk about and bring that to Gazali had helped, but not much. He had still been angry and she'd still had to argue with him before he finally agreed to help. "I told him that they were just as stupid as Shaju thought they were if they believed you would do anything to hurt Luci." After that Saar continued to provide Gazali with warnings whenever she could ... until she left. She just hoped that he and his friends would be okay and would be safe.
Listening to Sunjata talk about being with someone he loved and who loved him was nice, though it made it even more clear to Saar that it was something she'd never had. It made her sad that their mother had never gotten to experience it, either. "Nothing like me and Gaal, either." She murmured, though that was more to herself than to Jata. As he leaned back against the wall, Saar turned so that she could sit facing him, listening in silence as he went on to say how much he loved Nate. "I'm happy for you." And she truly was. With everything he had gone through in Korofi at the hands of their father he deserved the happiness he had found.
Of course he would claim to be the best at braiding her hair, but it wasn't far from the truth. "You always picked out the best flowers to put in my hair." When the conversation shifted to Kamaria and braiding her hair there was a change in him and she could sense it. "What's on your mind?"
"I know you probably don't agree with what I did." Her voice was quiet as she spoke and she paused a moment, as if trying to choose her words. "I would do it again." Whether or not he would understand, she wasn't sure. "We did not have a good childhood, not with the father we had and all the expectations he had." The only bright spot had been their mother and even she hadn't been able to shield them from much. "It would have been worse for any children I had. Gaal ... I think he would have been worse than Shaju was to try to impress him. And Shaju as a grandfather..." it sent a shudder through Saartjie's thin frame. "I didn't want my kids to grow up in fear like we did. I wanted my kids to have a father that loved them and would protect them." And that was not something that she could provide or guarantee while in Korofi. "I did what I had to do." It hadn't been easy and she hadn't made the decisions she had lightly.
The gentle squeeze around her shoulders gave her some comfort after talking about something so uncomfortable and personal. "Gazali wasn't too willing at first." One would say she'd had to talk some sense into him, but it was more like she'd had to shout some sense into him. "Shaju had everyone believing you were a double agent and that all of your work with the rebels was just so you could capture Luci and have her executed." One of the benefits of being married to Gaal was being able to eavesdrop on him and Shaju. Being write down what she heard them talk about and bring that to Gazali had helped, but not much. He had still been angry and she'd still had to argue with him before he finally agreed to help. "I told him that they were just as stupid as Shaju thought they were if they believed you would do anything to hurt Luci." After that Saar continued to provide Gazali with warnings whenever she could ... until she left. She just hoped that he and his friends would be okay and would be safe.
Listening to Sunjata talk about being with someone he loved and who loved him was nice, though it made it even more clear to Saar that it was something she'd never had. It made her sad that their mother had never gotten to experience it, either. "Nothing like me and Gaal, either." She murmured, though that was more to herself than to Jata. As he leaned back against the wall, Saar turned so that she could sit facing him, listening in silence as he went on to say how much he loved Nate. "I'm happy for you." And she truly was. With everything he had gone through in Korofi at the hands of their father he deserved the happiness he had found.
Of course he would claim to be the best at braiding her hair, but it wasn't far from the truth. "You always picked out the best flowers to put in my hair." When the conversation shifted to Kamaria and braiding her hair there was a change in him and she could sense it. "What's on your mind?"
but close my eyes for a while
and force from the world a patient smile
and force from the world a patient smile
