please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
This close, Tobi can smell sweat and the sea on Finn as he shifts; despite his warmth and how comfortable and easy the moment suddenly seems, she can't forget why he's here. Why they're both here, like this. Her thoughts rise and fall, propelled by hope and then tugged back down by despair. "I just..I feel so selfish." She whispers against him. "If I were in my right state of mind...I would put what you need above what you want. What I want." Because she's October; Doctor Hart. It's what she does, and who she is.
Her tears sting, but only because of how hard she keeps trying to hold them back. Were she just to cry, it would feel cleansing. Or at least Tobi thinks it would. But that is neither what Finn needs or wants.
Feeling as though if she pulls away from him now, she'll never find herself against him again, Tobi forces herself to sit up enough that she might seek out his gaze. Pregnant women might be said to glow, but right now Tobi is far from golden. "All I want is what's best for you. And...right now...I don't trust myself to know what that is." Pressing her eyes closed such that tears well up against her lashes, Tobi tilts her head to wipe her nose on her shoulder. "..and I can't get it wrong."
If she stays as his friend only, will she be able to heal his heart at the risk of his mind? If she heals his body and mind, will Finn lose the man he'd gradually grown into? Which was more important? Which was more Finn?
Her tears sting, but only because of how hard she keeps trying to hold them back. Were she just to cry, it would feel cleansing. Or at least Tobi thinks it would. But that is neither what Finn needs or wants.
Feeling as though if she pulls away from him now, she'll never find herself against him again, Tobi forces herself to sit up enough that she might seek out his gaze. Pregnant women might be said to glow, but right now Tobi is far from golden. "All I want is what's best for you. And...right now...I don't trust myself to know what that is." Pressing her eyes closed such that tears well up against her lashes, Tobi tilts her head to wipe her nose on her shoulder. "..and I can't get it wrong."
If she stays as his friend only, will she be able to heal his heart at the risk of his mind? If she heals his body and mind, will Finn lose the man he'd gradually grown into? Which was more important? Which was more Finn?
October
