when you bury your pain
Finn can't tell whether he's holding his breath or breathing too much. His lips are numb and his fingers are getting that way too; he can feel it though, with all of the uppers in his system, the way his brain panics and slams down shutters to dissociate itself from whatever parts of the news might throw him over the edge. It's a blessing in disguise, at least for now, and the Spyglass might not have known it, but he has chosen an ideal time to receive this bombshell.
Still, as his blue eyes flick back to her, as he spots the very obvious signs that she's pregnant - with his child, he's reminded - a spear of guilt shoots through him. "And you've been walking up to my attic and back, and sleeping at the end of my bed?" He raises his eyebrows, clearly finding his own behaviour unacceptable, regardless of the circumstances. "I... Would I be able to come with you...?" He almost whispers it, like she might tell him to get the hell out of her apartment just for suggesting it.
It's something he glazes over, the how much he wants to be involved - that can come later. For now the Spyglass lets out a shuddering breath and rakes his fingers through too-long curls, very obviously relieved to find out that everything is progressing normally with his - with their child. "Can they tell if..." Shaking his head, he drops his gaze to the floor and tries again, fidgeting with the Order ring on his thumb. "What if they end up like me?" he whispers.
Still, as his blue eyes flick back to her, as he spots the very obvious signs that she's pregnant - with his child, he's reminded - a spear of guilt shoots through him. "And you've been walking up to my attic and back, and sleeping at the end of my bed?" He raises his eyebrows, clearly finding his own behaviour unacceptable, regardless of the circumstances. "I... Would I be able to come with you...?" He almost whispers it, like she might tell him to get the hell out of her apartment just for suggesting it.
It's something he glazes over, the how much he wants to be involved - that can come later. For now the Spyglass lets out a shuddering breath and rakes his fingers through too-long curls, very obviously relieved to find out that everything is progressing normally with his - with their child. "Can they tell if..." Shaking his head, he drops his gaze to the floor and tries again, fidgeting with the Order ring on his thumb. "What if they end up like me?" he whispers.
THE SPYGLASS
you only strengthen its roots
