when you bury your pain
"That still doesn't make it okay," Finn objects, frowning to himself as if making a mental note to ensure that he doesn't cause Tobi any more stress than necessary (because much as he wants that to be zero, he knows that in their current circumstances that's all but impossible). There's no smile on his lips, the Spyglass very much still processing everything, and he shifts to sit with his elbows braced on his knees, his thoughts all but whirring through his mind.
But she says he can come with her - that she'd like him to come - and he feels a fraction of something relax in his shoulders. Nodding, he risks a glance back up at her, seeking out her eyes for perhaps a fraction of a second, nothing more. "Like me," he repeats, as if that alone will be enough for her to get it. It's obvious, at least to Finn.
"Look at me," he mutters, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't lack self-awareness - I know how problematic I am, how fragile my mental state is. I don't deal with social situations well, I barely sleep, I can't handle change, I see things that other people don't..." He shakes his head, cheeks flushing. "I don't want that for any child."
But she says he can come with her - that she'd like him to come - and he feels a fraction of something relax in his shoulders. Nodding, he risks a glance back up at her, seeking out her eyes for perhaps a fraction of a second, nothing more. "Like me," he repeats, as if that alone will be enough for her to get it. It's obvious, at least to Finn.
"Look at me," he mutters, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't lack self-awareness - I know how problematic I am, how fragile my mental state is. I don't deal with social situations well, I barely sleep, I can't handle change, I see things that other people don't..." He shakes his head, cheeks flushing. "I don't want that for any child."
THE SPYGLASS
you only strengthen its roots
