(RQ turn in) this solemn day

i closed my eyes and saw my father's sins, they covered me like a second skin
i peeled them off, and sure i bled a bit, but now i'm free to sink my own damn ship

He stiffens as Safrin’s voice meets him again, chin lowering, shoulders drooping as he stands idly by, listening to how much Kamaria loves Nate and believes he’s incapable of hurting them. To step down, though? Perhaps that would be an idea to be considered, though he knows he can’t step down — with all the favors he owes for Jack and the strings tying him here.

Still, perhaps she’s right, perhaps he needs to take a step back and not take things personally. Perhaps he needs to close himself off more, detach from the strings that keep tugging him this way and that.

Perhaps he should try to be more like his father, in the ways of an iron fist uncaring who and what he hurts in the process. Perhaps that’s what Safrin requires of him.

His head dips further as she tells him how she hasn’t turned him into a spy, and he desperately wants to believe it. And so he does, chewing at the inside of his cheek, taking a slow inhale of breath as he recalls what had happened with Ronin. I apologize, Safrin. He says quietly through the bond. I don’t think it wise if war is overhead. He needs to calm down and shut out his emotions on it, because it doesn’t matter in the end.

What matters is that he remains strong enough to withstand war when it comes, to make sure he can protect those he loves. And he needs her for it, for all of it, even if the thought hurts with the story she tells Kamaria of Nate.

Feathers coat his shoulders now, replacing the anger with his sorrow, with his fear of what’s to come, and he steps forward against his better judgement, to kneel beside Safrin and his daughter, reaching up to cup her cheek and tuck a lock of blonde behind her ear before he withdraws. “I won’t let the Voice hurt you, my kleinding.” He quietly vows, as easily as he can, even if the set to his jaw is tight and the shadows in his gaze are dark.

i cut my branch down from my family tree to start a fire in the living room

SUNJATA

Kamaria

I would rather stay here
Where the moon, it glows

Kamaria works at her bottom lip with her teeth, her expression shifting ever so slightly with each sickly-sweet sentence Safrin addresses to her. Her hands stop their fidgeting as her mother's move to hold them, and instead hold on with a stronger grip than might be expected of a child so small and young.

As Sunjata comes across to join them, her fingers loosen their hold on her mother's, relaxing. She's actively trying to swallow back the tears in her eyes but, as she looks up at her father's face, a few forge little trails down her cheeks. She shakes her head, bumping against Sunjata's hand as he tucks her hair behind her ear.

"I'm not scared," she sniffles, glancing down as she wipes her own face and looking back up at him again. Her heart is thudding against her chest and her mind is struggling to find its bearings, but she says these words with a stubbornness that begs not to be questioned. As for everything else? She doesn't know what to say, her feelings are too hurt.

Soaring doves and falling crows
Laughter is the only sound here

sweet dreams till sunbeams find you, sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

Whether or not she's satisfied with Sunjata's answer or apology, he'll have to wait to find out. For now, the goddess's attention turns back to their daughter as she cradles her all the closer. "That is one of her best tricks. She makes it so that you don't think you need to be afraid. She is not like a shark with gleaming teeth you can see coming from a mile away...more like a kitten with acid on her paws. She infects anyone she touches, even as you stroke her fur and wonder how she could ever be dangerous."

Pressing a kiss to the top of Kamaria's head, Safrin gives Sunjata a look as well, that her words might be directed at them both. "Just because you are not afraid, does not mean you do not need to be clever, just the same."

but in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me

i closed my eyes and saw my father's sins, they covered me like a second skin
i peeled them off, and sure i bled a bit, but now i'm free to sink my own damn ship

The sinking feeling in Sunjata’s gut grows deeper and deeper as Safrin continues on, but he’s wise in saying nothing to it – instead simply watching as Safrin’s attention turns back to their daughter. He watches the way she cradles Kamaria and Sunjata remains close – knelt beside them, reaching up to cup her cheek before he’s withdrawing and Safrin’s kiss is placed atop her crown.

His gaze remains on Kamaria, a fraction longer as Safrin’s gaze lifts to him, and only then does he lift his steel to meet her gaze. And in the name of trying to appear strong, because his daughter’s quite visibly upset, he works his jaw a moment before nodding to Safrin and his attention drifts back to Kamaria’s face.

“We are clever, aren’t we Ria?” He asks gently, pasting on a smile that he knows she’d not see through – placing that mask up for her sake if for nothing else. It’s completely beside the point that his lineage certainly were made up of clever people where Sunjata had simply missed the train on that one. "We just have to be more clever.”

i cut my branch down from my family tree to start a fire in the living room

SUNJATA

Kamaria

I would rather stay here
Where the moon, it glows

Kamaria sniffles as she listens to her mother's reasonings, and it's an analogy she can understand; one that serves the intended purpose. The Voice looks appealing, but in reality she will hurt when gotten close to. There are many questions stemming from this. 'Can we save Nate?' continues to work at the surface of her thoughts. Yet that question has already been answered.

As Sunjata rests his hand against her cheek, she meets his steely blue gaze with the shaking shimmer of her own. Both understanding and confusion pool within the shallows of her eyes, and she has to wipe them once again.

She nods earnestly at Sunjata's words, though she can't return his smile right now. At the insinuation of outsmarting something like the Voice, Kamaria's brows press together with concern and she whimpers out hopelessly, "How?" Which is unusual for her, given that she's so often a source of optimism and hope. Now doesn't feel like a time for any of that, though. It feels too late for being clever. It feels like they've already lost before they can even begin.

Soaring doves and falling crows
Laughter is the only sound here

sweet dreams till sunbeams find you, sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

"By listening to your father." Safrin replies sweetly as starlight blooms from where she cuddles her daughter. It has a calming effect, smoothing away the tension in Kamaria's tiny shoulders that she might relax and calm. "He will always do what's best for you." There doesn't need to be an or else included in her body language or in whispers within the Flood's mind.

'Torchline shall be protected in part from the monsoons next year." She says, distractedly, this encounter being so much more now than a simple quest turn-in. "Remember my sweetest star, to be kind but always to be clever, mmmm?" That the girl loved Nate was not in question. Nor was the question of whether or not Nate was deserving of love. The fact of the matter was, that as an ascended and a demigod, Nate's mind had not been solely his own for months and months now. He would always pose a danger, no matter how much love there was between he, the Flood, and the girl from the stars.


~FIN

but in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me